Society influences us in countless ways, sex being just one of them, to become better sheep and to serve our society complacently. A big part of this control is brainwashing people, making them sad and frustrated. Why? Because, you can’t control happy people. If you are happy you won’t buy things, you won’t search for help, and you won’t search for happiness. As long as you are frustrated, as long as you think about problems, and as long as you think you are full of problems, you will work to make money and purchase more things to buy your happiness.

Religion, school, television, and commercials are constantly trying to keep you frustrated to sell you more and more things. Their main strategy is: create a problem, then sell a solution.

For example, both men and women want sex and to be together, because that makes us happy. Of course, when someone is happy, he doesn’t think about his problems and he doesn’t need more money. He is happy. That person won’t work hard, or at least not as hard as some unhappy person would work.

Somehow, in the last twenty years, something has come between men and women, creating an empty space between them. It’s to fill up this space that they sell things: “you feel lonely… buy this!”

Women are made frustrated and unhappy, bombarded day in and day out with messages in television, newspapers, and magazines like Cosmo, etc. where they are told that they’re not beautiful enough and what they must look like if they want to be desirable! Check Cosmopolitan magazine. Of course most readers will feel unhappy, because they can’t possibly look like the models inside. As we all know, beauty equals money in our society. With lot of money you can get plastic surgery, dress in expensive clothes, and look hot! So that means if you want a good guy, you must look beautiful, and to get money for that you must work incredibly hard.

Women are constantly unhappy because fashion always changes, and they are constantly forced to buy new shoes, purses, and clothes every now and then, because the old ones are passé. Those few who are able to keep up are filled with false confidence; they are beautiful right now, so they expect every man to fall for them. This also has the side-effect of creating venomous competition between women.

If you take a look at the female beauty industry, you will understand the problem even better! Everything from makeup and haircuts to shoes, perfume, clothing, and more are part of “looking beautiful,” and all of these things change every season. For a woman to stay on top of all of this she must spend quite a bit of money.

And just what is beauty? Every culture and society deems beauty differently. Fifteen years ago, sexy meant curly hair and big breasts. More recently, the top models are all exceedingly skinny with few curves. It’s no wonder then that many girls around the world become anorexic trying to look like the supermodels.

In our culture, society attaches high value to beautiful women, and a man’s happiness with his having one of his own. But, there is also a link between expensive goods and beautiful women. Take a look at some ads for high-class merchandise, and you’ll see a model next to the luxury car, or a model showing off that apartment or line of watches. Without one, you can’t have the other. But is it easy to buy those expensive things? Of course not! Men too need to work hard and long to earn the money to afford the things that can get them the attractive women.

What happens, though, when a man spends his whole life working until he has enough money and then goes for the high-class women? All too often, alone in a bar without his fancy car or job, he doesn’t have the confidence or personality to attract those very women.

Here’s the structure of an average Joe’s life: He finishes college with an average apartment, an average car, and a decent job. As he works hard over the years, he makes more money and so can afford a nicer place to live, better car, and finer wardrobe. All of this hopefully allows him to attract more beautiful women. He spends his life working for money to get things that will make him happy, and with which he can seduce women.

On the flip side is a woman’s life. A young woman finishes college and gets an average job. As she works and makes money, it is spent on her beauty in increasing amounts as she becomes more successful and can afford more. The better she looks the higher quality man she can attract. Some women spend up to 90% of their salary on their looks: beauty salons, tanning beds, new shoes, new purses, etc.

Unfortunately, while these things may make a woman happy, they are all temporary.

Our society is based on these rules. The beauty industry does billions of dollars in business because women feel unhappy with the way they look. If magazines suddenly told their readers that it’s okay to be fat and ugly, then the entire industry would go out of business. This is why they keep the population frustrated with ultra-thin models.

As a counter example, let me tell you about myself and my friend Shark. We used to try to spend as little money when going out with women. We were the worst customers in the country, drinking only tap water, but we still got the hottest women in every club. Not only that, but we got these women to cook for us, clean our apartments, take us out to dinner, etc. We were truly happy.

Can you imagine what would happen if most guys were able to succeed like this, getting what they want and being truly happy? Who would buy drinks, drive expensive cars, or wear Armani suits? Who would spend money if it wasn’t required for happiness? The economy would collapse! This is the reason why men are not supposed to succeed with women, because fewer people being happy means more people buying things to make them happy.

Here’s why what society teaches you is wrong:

First, women like nice guys. In reality, women hate nice guys. Have you ever asked yourself why you always see beautiful women with jerks, guys who treat them so poorly? And then, when you date a beautiful woman and treat her well, do you get “let’s just be friends?” Women in general hate nice guys because they are boring, predictable, addicted to routine, insecure, not fun, and serious.

Women are emotional creatures, and they want to feel emotions. Compare a nice guy who instills only one emotion, love, and a jerk who is going to give her love, hate, pain, pleasure, passion, anticipation, disappointment, etc. And all of that’s in just one day! If you were a woman, would you choose some boring, average guy who is going to give you sex like a routine, always the same, and have a monotonous relationship? Or would you rather choose some adventurous, crazy guy who will be totally unpredictable, interesting, challenging, and give you crazy sex? Of course you would choose the second guy, just like every woman does.

Predictability is the killer of attraction! An ex-girlfriend of mine once told me “you know, I really like nice guys. But you know what? I get bored with them very quickly, so I just dump them.”

Another thing that society tries to tell us is that women don’t like sex. This is completely false; women love sex just as much as we do, if not more.

Another thing that society tries to tell us is that women have all the power and control. In reality, they don’t feel that way at all. Women are incredibly insecure; just look at how many hours they spend in front of a mirror to look beautiful for other people. They are trying to attract men, which gives them the power.

The biggest mistake guys make is falling into the woman’s trap at the club. These men actively try to make themselves seem worthy to the women, “impressing” them with money, cars, etc. But, by trying to make himself worthy, a man is really communicating that he is of lower status than the woman. He desires her, he needs her, and she is above him. Women, though, are looking for dominant men who are above them.

A model once told me “we all want a guy who is just a little bit above us, a guy who has more power than we do. It doesn’t matter what it is, a car, job, money, or career.”

For millions of years, women have been choosing the strongest men for mates. For most of humankind’s history, this has a meant strong muscles, leadership qualities, and the ability to protect family. Even today women are insecure, searching for men who can make them feel safe. These men are preferably leaders who take control. Women, no matter how much they may say they don’t need a man, are still heavily attracted to powerful men.

There are few people today that really KNOW me today, and of those even less that knew me growing up. People that saw me when I was a totally different person.

Friends that saw me CHANGE.

In fact there’s only three that I can name. Ermin, Mike, and Curtis. While all of them are aware of the community, not one is a community guy.

There are other guys in the community that have seen me grow and transform, one step at a time, but they weren’t there back in the day like those 3 I named off.

Anyways I got a text yesterday regarding some ‘rukus’ on a forum I’m causing by being totally honest and upfront with a guy.

The text convo hit me emotionally, pretty dead on.

Why?

Well basically the guy I’m being blunt with on this forum is coming from a similar place I was at one time in my life.

The text convo basically said that ‘that guy’ is just one of those people who will never “get it”, “never” understand certain things about himself, and that I was not one of those guys.

Why bother trying to help the guy? Why waste a few minutes of my life?

Because I don’t believe in that shit.

I was at the same place this guy was one time, like unbelievably weird/awkward. Almost completely unaware to top it off.

You know whats funny?

Back when I started rising up, back on the original Dream Lounge, people used to tell me I would ‘never’ get it. They would tell me that it’s all a lie, and people CAN’T change.

Well here’s the reality, everyone can.

That’s right, it’s true, the resources are there to become who you were meant to be, to self actualize, without a doubt.

Well here’s part two.

Most people won’t. Regarding success with women, 90% of guys just won’t ever get it.

You know what I decided when people told me all that bluntly negative bull shit?

I am not a FUCKING STATISTIC, I am something MORE.

I was ready to fight for what I wanted, for real.

People telling me it couldn’t be done only pushed me more, pushed me to the breaking point eventually, rock bottom in August of 2007. It’s pretty common human behavior to try to hold others down- I still see this today whenever I do something new and continue to ‘rise’.

You know what a really sneaky trap is though? Something that IMO is built into us to project onto others via evolution.

People telling you you’ve come farther than you have, without someone being totally honest with you.

This is far more lethal in keeping you happy and content, avoiding reality, and avoiding the NOW.

I think most guys that find this community are in a similar boat that I was in once (hey the more personal, the more universal right?)

And their path is going to follow something like mine did. Not all guys though, there are plenty of guys I know personally that will follow a different path to move closer to their potential, but this is like the majority of guys this community attracts.

First the guy has to hit the point of realizing there’s a problem, something deep inside. By realizing I mean a feeling to, most of us have ego’s far to big to let us see something like that up front early on. I know I was one.

And hence, we get into ’self improvement’. This quickly turns into ego-based learning, and tack-ons to ourselves. Things like methods/tactics/routines.

These are all cool, specifically because they lead us to the next step.

The ready to fight level. This is when you make a monumental decision. Your’s may relate to mine, or it may not. Everyone’s different.

Next is rock bottom.

This is when the ‘decision’ becomes nearly universal.

YOU WILL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK IT TAKES.

WHATEVER IT TAKES.

For me, this at first was taking out a huge student loan to buy a bootcamp way out of my price range as a college student.

When I got it I decided that wasn’t the best option at the time, and instead decided to go out every single night until I approached 3,000 sets (was at about 2,000 at that time).

Not 2 weeks in I banged a girl for the first time in over a year, one I liked on top of that (hey fatties need love too, but not from me).

This was not coincidence.

Moving on…

This is when you begin to scramble your brain.

This is when self destruction truly begins.

This is when the healing beings.

There are a few pitfalls to watch out for, and I’ll detail them this summer at the Under 21 Convention.

You eventually get to a point where you’re about to, or are going INSANE, and you KNOW IT.

You push a little more…

And then you let it all go. You see the fucking LIGHT. You may even find some of your self-esteem you lost growing up…

After that is when you pretty much start to fill in the gaps. You make it, but realize there is always room for improvment.

You begin to move on to bigger and better things…

This part is probably different for everyone, but for me, it was just starting to really ENJOY life for what it is.

Living the way I wanted, being the person I am, being AUTHENTIC, and just doing what the fuck I feel like doing.

So for anyone who gets the blunt end of my advice, take it for what it’s worth. I’ve been in your shoes, and mean the best.

Something I kind of stumbled upon in my mind yesterday thinking about this…

The 90/10 ratio for people self actualizing is a catch 22. The resources are there for everyone, but only because 90% won’t ever use them.

90% of people not utilizing what’s available makes it possible for those who want ‘it’ bad enough to pursue ‘it’.

Making the title of this post all the more important…

Are you a statistic, or something MORE?

Another returned book on attracting women:

Vanilla: “Omari, I can’t read this shit. It’s too long and
complicated.”

This had happened time and time again. My friends would see the way I attracted women, and when they asked me how I was doing it, I would just shove them a book from my book collection, out of sheer laziness to bother to explain my methods. What I didn’t tell them, was that I never used most, if any, of the advice in those books. Like Vanilla said, they were just too long and complicated. Only nerds could understand them, and only nerds had the time to read them and break them down.

Then it occurred to me, before I even had the balls to even approach women, I was still getting laid before all of my friends in grade school. Why was this? And why is it that I do very little now, and still manage to attract women fairly easily? It couldn’t be just looks alone, because I wasn’t that
physically attractive until fairly recently. There had to be more to it. That’s when I sat down and examined everything about my relationships with women, both past and present, and looked at why they were attracted to me. When it was all said and done, I came down to one conclusion. Most of the material that is readily available in the seduction community was an utter waste of time, money, and space. All in all, it was just a downright overcomplicated mess, that in the end, just left more men
not only with an empty bed, but an empty bank account as well.

Attracting women could be broken down into five simple Verses, or simple areas that the average, everyday, normal guy, could easily focus on without worrying about which routine or step to take next, out of the literally thousands available.

What are these areas?

Power
Sincerity
Sexuality
Health
Lifestyle

Here’s a verse on power:

The Verse On Power

Power. What is power?
Money. Does money equal power?

No. I’ll tell you what equals power. Being at the top of whatever your field is. When you’re the best of the best, you attract followers. And with followers, comes leverage. And leverage? No amount of money can buy true leverage.

I need only state the Chinese Revolution as evidence of this true power I speak of. Mao Zedong had no money. All he had was leverage, from his followers, who followed him because of his ability to be the best in his field. No amount of money could take away his leverage. That’s true power, and that’s exactly what women are attracted to.

When I was younger, I wasn’t the best-looking guy, but I could fight really well, and I was funnier than just about anyone I knew at the time. I had several friends, several followers. People laughed. People feared. The women came. My point is, a lot of you have the ability to gain power, but you just don’t realize it yet. You’re blinded by the false power known as currency. When you go after something, strictly for the financial gain, and the financial gain alone, you limit your ability to be the best at something you’re actually talented at.

I’ve done it. I have my insurance license, several computer certifications; I tried pharmacy, construction, city planning, business school, just to name a few of the fields I tried. I did it all for the money, and sank into an ocean of mediocrity. It wasn’t until I stuck with what I loved, writing, that I regained my true power.

What you’ll find, is that just about every field, every talent, has women that want to be with the best. Yes, even videogames. And how can you attract those women if you’re only mediocre?

You want true power? You want the women that come with true power? Do what you love, and become the best at it. What do you gain? Happiness. And the women that come along with it.

Have you ever seen Bill Clinton work a room? Google him and find some videos. Bill Clinton embraces everyone in his path. He radiates an energy that has people lining up just to talk to him. He is completely present in each interaction and charms every person he talks to. That’s his job. Now how does Clinton relate to the dating world?

People are constantly evaluating social value. Women depend on their ability to determine social value to seek out good mates. Evolution, monkeys, etc. Women are attracted to the power that Bill Clinton displays when he works a room. The non-verbals he radiates communicate all the right things about the guy. But he doesn’t get the power from just his body language. His real power is from the reactions that people have to him.

To get the positive reactions Clinton gets you have to be present with everyone you meet. Whenever someone crosses your path, you have to give them the best 30 seconds of conversation they’ve had that day. You need to make them feel special. If you can do that, you will instantly be attractive to people. In fact, you’ll be more than attractive- you’ll be irresistible.

To create this attraction you have to study how to build attraction in a room. Most men have a narrow vision of attraction and focus only on their target, but there is a whole different game to be played. Every interaction in a room can build your attraction before you even meet the girl you actually want.

Since high school women have wanted the men that everybody else wants. So if you want to be attractive like that man, you need to learn to become that man. Practise speaking and more importantly listening to people around you. The people who truly listen are the ones that truly connect. Most men don’t listen and so when they walk away from a woman, another woman will watch this encounter and see the lack of connection on the other woman’s face. When you later approach the second woman, she will have already lost attraction to you. So practise giving your best 30 seconds to everyone you meet. Then practise giving 45 seconds.

This power of connecting with people in the room will shift the dynamic from you approaching people to people wanting to approach you.

There are many opportunities to practise this, so you have no excuses. Get to know the person who serves you coffee at Starbucks, of the person who scans your food at the grocery store.

By building this connection, people will wonder what’s so special about you, because they won’t have the same connection with the barista or store clerk.

You’re using the power of Clinton to create your own hype. Create excitement whenever you’re around. By listening to people you will actually have something to talk about next time you see people.

By mastering listening to people. gathering information and giving them the best 30 seconds of their day, you will then be able to bring others into these conversations. You’ll be bringing women into your own attractive universe that you’ve created.

There are numerous ways to learn how to improve your ability to meet and seduce women. We have the forums, we have ebooks, bootcamp programs, and probably most importantly, we have ourselves – going out day after day to meet women, pushing your boundaries, and f*cking things up is the ultimate way to learn game.

But I’ve been learning from other sources too. I’ve learnt a lot from watching TV and film characters: Vince Chase in Entourage, Christian Troy in Nip/Tuck, even Shane (raging lesbian player) in The L Word. Talking with and watching other guys – often, naturals – has also helped me massively. There’s one guy in particular, a work colleague, that has had a phenomenal influence on my game in the last few months, and resulted in me blowing open more sets super-directly than ever before.

The final way that I have been learning game, is by talking to girls about guys they’ve slept with. It’s crazy how much useful information a girl can give you when she says what she likes/dislikes about a guy she’s dating and how he approached her.

It’s with all this information I’ve absorbed in the last 6 months or so that I’ve come to the following conclusions:

Looks are important
Status and wealth are important

Looks

I’m sure a thousand guys will tell me, “Man, you don’t need to be good looking to meet women! Look at me, I’m an ugly f*cker and I pull like a rock star.” But the logical argument here is this: you don’t NEED to be good looking to meet woman, but it sure as hell is gonna help.

I believe one of the issues is that often guys think they are born with their looks and that’s that. Bullshit. It’s a limiting belief, just like the same one that makes you think you can never be good with women, that some guys are born with it and others aren’t.

There are fashion magazines, makeovers, gyms, diets, hair stylists, and plastic surgeons in this wonderful world of ours – it is all there available to help us become better looking people. All we need to do is apply the same commitment and mentality that we do to improving our personalities.

When I was 18, I was seriously insecure about my ears which stuck out from my head. I had plastic surgery to have them pinned back. I realise now that it was a serious milestone in my life and marked the beginning of a journey of self-improvement and becoming the person I wanted to be.

Six years on, I am still working hard on my looks. I’m not a model, but I’ve come a long way from where I was. When I was in school, I hated the way I looked and wished to be as good looking as other boys. Today, I have girls tell me that they like my hair, they love the feel of my arms, and that I look really hot in my coat. It makes all the difference – to my success with women, and to how I feel inside.

I’ve got a hundred examples of where looks have helped guys to get the girl. A girl I’m dating right now showed me a picture of a guy she met on the Tube – the guy is seriously good looking (and actually got picked up by a modelling agency for a shoot). This guy picked her up by doing very little – all he did was establish a bit of eye contact on the platform and she was hooked. She is constantly talking about him saying how hot he is. I don’t blame her, if I was a woman, I would.

I met a lovely girl in Barcelona on the street one afternoon. When I was inside her later that night, she said to me, “When I met you today I thought you were so beautiful.” She then expressed surprised at how old I was and said I was the best dressed 24-year old she had ever met. Finally, she held onto my arms, and said I was a lot bigger than I looked with my clothes on.

I know guys that are ugly, and get laid. I know guys that look like supermodels, and don’t get laid. But, guys that look like supermodels and have player personalities, get laid A LOT.

Status and Wealth

The same logical argument as above applies for status and wealth. You don’t need high status and great wealth to get laid, but it will most definitely help.

Girls delight in telling me (especially the superhot girls) about guys they’ve hooked up with who took them to a VIP lounge in a club, an expensive restaurant, or back to their penthouse apartment in Central London. Girls will gladly talk to and later go home with guys who are decent looking, have good chat, and have been plying them with drinks all night. Now I’m not saying to supplicate and buy a girl drinks in the hopes that if you buy her enough, she will sleep with you. But, if you have a strong personality, high value, and you show a girl that you can do the provider thing, you’re in good stead. I don’t let girls take advantage of me, but if I like them I’ll treat them like I would my mates – that can mean getting a few drinks in.

All other game factors still come into play. I know plenty of guys who are rich and have no game. But again, the guys that are rich and are able to learn some basic game, sleep with seriously hot girls regularly.

This shit is important for all the obvious evolutionary reasons. Girls want a provider, someone who is leader of the tribe, someone with ambition etc. etc. Having great wealth reflects all of that, and that is why you should be working on that area of your life as well.

Summary

It’s true you don’t need to be super good looking or rich to get laid. You can be fat, bald, ugly, poor and unemployed and still get laid. But why make it harder for yourself?

I’m working on all aspects of my life: how I look, how much money I have, and how strong my personality is. It all inter-relates. As a quick example, women are attraction to ambition, which is a part of your personality but reflected by your wealth and status.

My ultimate goal is to be a superstar playboy. I want to be Hugh Heffner. I want to sleep with beautiful women every day, and walk around in a silk robe in the middle of the afternoon. I want to be Vincent Chase and Christian Troy. To get there, I’m gonna need looks, money, and a killer personality.

This was originally posted by the now retired Future, who used to work for The Mystery Method.

“How Do You Deal with Haters? I try to ignore them but still there’s that part of me that can’t stand anyone disliking me. I guess… how can I work on that?”

Concern over what other people think is a major problem; it’s the root of approach anxiety, and it’s the murderous threat to progressing your game because it cripples your ability to take chances. Sinn’s response is of vital importance:
“Who cares?

One of the first hurdles to truly getting this at a level that very few people( Like less 10 that I count) that Future and I perceive events at, is getting over the idea that another person’s mental perception of you, matters at all..

There are going to be people who think you are weird or pathetic or loose morealed. Who gives a fuck? Live the life YOU want! As David D said on some program ” What other people think is none of my business”. Seriously you are here for a reason. NO ONE finds TMM by mistake so whatever forces drove you to us, don’t give them the power to control your behavior and your ability to live your lifetime to the fullest.

As far as we know THIS is the ONLY life we get…”

How do you deal with people not liking you? Honestly, the best way to handle it is to go to the store, buy a box of straws, and suck it the fuck up. I don’t know you. You could be big or small, ugly or handsome, fun or boring, smart or stupid. But letting other people define your self-perception by virtue of their emotional state is a weakness that will stand in your way in most endeavors, one of which is your ability to form successful, meaningful, and repeated sexual interactions with women.

The haters will always be there. You will never be everybody’s cup of tea. Someone will find a reason not to like you. Heck, there are countries full of people who might not like you simply because of your skin color or country of birth! I was in the American military! I suspect nearly everyone walking around Baghdad would talk shit about me in the abstract.

So you get over it. You focus on the prize. The sign of strength in this world is to pursue that which you want relentlessly and tenaciously. The sign of virtue is to bring as many people as you can along with you on that journey. But even when you reach the height of success, someone will trudge toward the summit to pull you down.

Fuck them.

This is one of the key parts of being a man. I just finished a book called The Female Brain. The back of the book warns, “Men, get ready to get brain envy!” but I’ll tell you I’ve never been more pleased to be a dude in my life. Women’s brains are constantly saturated with varying levels of hormones that dictate mood switches arbitrarily through the month or day. Modern media and society have pushed a feminist agenda on us in a big way, so we have all pumped up our overall level of vaginositude. There was a time when it would have been ludicrous to see a man of a certain age crying in public. Now I see it every other day on the streets of New York City. People are pussies.

You are a MAN. You are a WARRIOR. You are the one who protects his family from the saber-toothed tiger, finds shelter when the snows come, and kills a mastodon with a spear to help feed the fucking tribe. YOU. Someone in your genetic line understood this, and so you are here. If you were called to serve in battle, you could whimper at the bullets, cower at the explosions, or you could crucify the child in that moment of fear and live up to your own expectations of yourself. And baby, girls ain’t bullets.

Emotions lead us arbitrarily. They change extemporaneously, and they can rarely be trusted. Our positive emotions burn when we are comfortable and lazy. Our negative emotions burn as we shit ourselves before talking to a girl. Emotions are here to stay, but you must learn to acknowledge them without kneeling before them. In the recent New Yorker, there is a stunning interview with billionaire Mort Zuckerman. This dude has made a ton of hard choices, pissed off a lot of people. But he focused on his brass ring and grabbed it without compromise.

When I’m teaching boot camp, it’s not uncommon for a student to stall approaching because he imagines a girl to be this way or that, or he imagines her relationship with the guy she’s talking to as this or that. Most of the time, I shove him in the back, and he returns a while later, stunned by how well the interaction went, how it was absolutely NOT what he predicted. You simply can’t read ANYONE’s mind. You can’t CHANGE anyone’s mind, necessarily. All you can do is be the best you the world has ever seen. You are a man. You do not feel what anyone else tells you or wants you to feel. You feel as you are supposed to feel according to your own designs, and that is all. Every shivering moment you do NOT act this way is another blade’s centimeter toward castration. PEOPLE WILL HATE YOU. The better you are, the more people will hate you for no fucking reason whatsoever, without knowing you, maybe without knowing what you look like.

It hurts. The good thing about that, I feel, is that it means your emotional circuitry is firing. Cool. But successful, effective people look emotions in the eye, bow their head in greeting, and walk past the iniquity resident in their own hearts. Your mission as a human and a man is to stave off the demons while you have them as you retain the spark of what it means to be you. A significant component of that process is taking a good, hard, ugly look in the mirror, staring yourself in the eyes, and reaching for that box of straws.

Nobody wants to be cast as “selfish”, do they? Of course not. Yet, the truth is that if you didn’t spend considerable time attending to your own needs and wants, you would be in no condition to make a philanthropic dent on society, would you?

Anyone who has ever bought a commercial airline ticket and used it has heard a flight attendant’s pitch to deploy one’s own oxygen mask before assisting the young guns. Oh yeah, and “breathe normally” while doing so, will you?

Even Mother Theresa was really doing what she most wanted to in life. And she also fed her own face every once in a while too, I’m sure.

What I’m getting at here is that I’ve been hearing a lot from guys lately who are having a common problem. Essentially, the issue seems to surround wanting to “not break any rules”, “stay socially acceptable”, “fit in with the crowd”, and so forth. And what’s happening is that these guys end up standing passively by while OTHER GUYS come for the women they have their eye on (or even the ones they LIVE with). Yet, they are averse to trying to push the envelope a bit because that would be too…uh…”forward”, or something.

Meanwhile, at that last speed dating event, six of these guys were probably standing around before things got rolling chit-chatting amongst themselves about this exact topic while the seventh guy was already leaving with the one attractive woman who showed up.

Isn’t stuff like that against the “speed dating rules of etiquette”?

I mean, how rude and selfish of guys like that to come around and assert themselves with all the particularly sharp women, huh?

OK, guys…here it is: It’s time to stop being a martyr. You’re not being benevolent and unselfish by neglecting to assert your alpha position in deserving the greatest women.

And guess what, you’re not doing any favors for the women you persist in “settling for” either.

What you ARE doing is FAILING TO DEPLOY.

You’re not only keeping your self from success in the name of being “Mr. Nice Guy”, you are STEALING OPPORTUNITY from great women everywhere.

In your heart, don’t you feel a twinge of frustration knowing that certain fantastic women out there would be better off with you than the mediocre guys they themselves have been “settling” for lately? There’s no doubt about it in your mind, yet you still refuse to impose your will.

That would be selfish. Or possibly confused with appearing too “needy”. Or something like that.

Now before you get too animated, you know me well enough by now to know that I’m not talking about stealing people’s spouses or anything else that’s from the “dark side”. It’s just that it’s time to reframe this notion of what “selfishness” really means and how it can become a scapegoat for artificially limiting ourselves.

We all know that MANIPULATION is to be avoided. Most of us understand that manipulators, by definition, operate purely from a motive of getting as much of what they want from others with as little personal investment as possible. Under the guise of friendship and an umbrella of flattery, the manipulator guilt-trips an unwitting subject into handing over personal favors and perhaps even physical items of far greater worth than what has been extended.

Yeah, that’s pretty selfish stuff. And once exposed for what it is, manipulative patterns and the purveyors thereof tend to be summarily looked down upon with disdain by society.

And last I checked, “society” was made up of roughly 50% women.

Contrast that entire concept with AMBITION. One who is ambitious could be described as knowing what he or she wants, and having the confidence and the plan to transform goals into realities. If true to their focus, such individuals tend to go on to become CEOs, heads of state, cancer survivors and/or perennial all-star point guards.

We love stories of ambition and those who author them. And we love watching ambitious people succeed-especially when the odds are against them.

But make no mistake: Ambition is still all about an individual and his or her personal desires.

So what gives? Selfishness? Manipulation? Ambition? What’s the difference?

First of all, in order to break free from backing off from the kind of women we want to deserve (or the career, adventures, friends, etc. for that matter), we have to stop using “selfishness” as an excuse to cover up what’s actually pure FEAR in most cases. Social martyrdom is typically nothing more than a cover-up for insecurity and flat-out worry.

MANIPULATION is the low-road because therein selfishness exists in a vacuum. We’re talking absolutely zero concern for the needs and welfare of others. It’s ALL taking, all the time. What’s more, the manipulator betrays a common knowledge of right vs. wrong by attempting to mask intentions.

Meanwhile, AMBITION leaves room for others to come along for the ride to success. Implied is an over-arching goal to make sure one’s life MATTERS. Also implied is the desire to succeed in a way so as to make the world a better place in a way only he or she uniquely can.

Sure, there can be a fine line. Some people can become somewhat destructively selfish in the name of ambition, most definitely. For example, Lance Armstrong’s particular brand of ambition conquered cancer and enabled surreal athletic achievements. But it also has repeatedly steamrolled anyone close to him.

Ultimately, it comes down to this: Manipulation drives great women away because it is ultimately rooted in sniveling weakness. Ambition, on the other hand represents the direct approach. He who is ambitious openly states his intentions in broad daylight and exerts the power and leadership to reach goals.

And ambition, therefore, is extraordinarily attractive to women.

Ambition, simply put, transcends “selfishness” by directing one’s vision for success in a path that leads to great things. Others want to be in on that. And make no mistake, great achievements are predicated upon it.

Leadership, confidence, having a plan for success. That’s pretty much what women want out of a man. And that’s why guys who break the speed dating rules (for example) get the girl. Sure, they put their needs ahead of others…but not ahead of the women they choose to invite into their lives.

So where do you stand? Are you watching from the sidelines so as not to “impose” on anyone?

What gets in the way of REAL connections between people is social masks. You know, the happy face that you put on to get through your day.

The lady at the checkout says “Hi! How are you?”, and you just say “fine”. The real truth might be that your dog just died, that your insides feel twisted, your heart feels like it’s caved in, and that you’re exhausted.

Ba Ba BAAAA! SOCIAL MASK TO THE RESCUE! Here to save you from spilling it all out to the checkout lady. What do you say instead? “Uh, fine thanks. Are these fish sticks two for one?”

Crisis averted! Thanks for saving me again, Social Mask!

Let’s be realistic - social masks are both valuable and appropriate at certain times. But if you don’t know how to take it off, it can really kill the juice with women.

Instead of at the supermarket, let’s pretend you’re on a date with a chick to whom you’re super attracted. You’re hurting inside, but still, you’re wearing the social mask that says everything is just fine.

Most guys have absolutely no idea just how aware and sensitive women are. When you’re holding something back or you’re resisting your emotions, women can sense it and the result is that they feel something’s ‘off’.

When women feel something is “off” they just can’t trust or open up to you in the way they really want to. And quite bluntly, that’s the beginning of the end right there.

So this means you’re meant to just curl up in to the fetal position and cry yourself to sleep in the middle of the date, right? Actually, we’d recommend against that.

But when a guy drops his social mask, and is willing to ‘own’ his emotions, it makes him astoundingly more sexy to a woman.

So what does “owning your emotions” actually mean? Let’s say you’re on a date and you’re feeling really sad about your ex-dog. If you can fully feel your sadness, without “collapsing” AND still remain fully engaged, present and connected to your woman at the same time, then you have just been nominated for sexy man of the year award.

Now, just like riding a bike, it takes a little practice. But when you get the hang of dropping the ol’ social mask, feeling your emotions and still being rock solid with her, you’ve started on the path to being the kind of man that even the most radiant women dream of meeting.

Source: Unknown

I first read this article a few years ago. Let me preface it by saying: at the time, while I was still learning how to meet women, it seemed like world-shattering gospel truth.

Having improved dramatically, having learned a lot more about women, I’m in a place to better evaluate it. Some of the points he makes are compelling - women are largely more driven by their emotions than men. Women are considerably better at rationalizing away behaviours than men. And my female friends do seem to have a much, much higher propensity to cheat than my male ones, and then invent reasons why “it didn’t count”.

On the other hand, this is far from true of all women, and the original author seems awfully bitter. What I will say is: you can’t gauge fidelity from what a girl is like. Some of the most faithful girls I’ve known have been some of the most hedonistic and sexual, where some of the least have seemed prudish and dull to most.

I grew up watching Disney movies. I used to believe in true romance and “true love will always prevail”. I was looking for a woman to be my equal, to be my partner. I wanted to find that one true love, and for us to be commited to each other forever. Most of all, I believed women wanted the same thing.

Now I know the truth - these things were only possible when society was able to enforce it. Now that women are ‘liberated’ (and thus at the mercy of their own emotional urges and more base instincts), this is an impossible fairytale.

I don’t consider myself a misogynist - I love women. But I am a sexist - I believe women are vastly different from men, and by the standards that men hold other men to, women are inferior too.

Perhaps you’re starting to rationalize at this point. I must be a bitter loser, right? I can’t prove it to you either way, but I enjoy more success with women than almost anyone I know. I’ve slept with over 200 women, and right now, I’m regularly seeing 5 different normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking professional women.

Am I really good looking? No. My looks are pretty average. I don’t work out (although I’m not overweight), I don’t dress that well. And I didn’t have much success with women at all when I was younger. Then I decided to go out and start trying to meet women. I was willing to face rejection 1,000 times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything I could until I finally cracked it.

I completely set my ego aside. I didn’t get laid at all for the first few months. Then it started happening every few weeks. Then pretty often. Then all the time! I wouldn’t have thought this possible in high school.

Now I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can usually pick her up in front of her friends. Women will even slip me phone numbers when their boyfriend has gone to take a leak. I can meet women in the street or at the supermarket, and often have them back at mine for sex in 30 minutes. If I have to settle for a phone number, and meet her a few days later, I will fuck her that next day.

Here’s where it gets more interesting: what I do doesn’t change in the slightest if she’s single or not. If she has a boyfriend or not. Hell, if she has a husband or not. I just do my normal routine, and then I fuck her. Maybe she’ll mention the guy so she won’t feel guilty when we have sex - that was it’s ‘my fault’. Most of the time though, they just won’t mention it until after sex. Perhaps her phone will go off, and it’s her boyfriend; she’ll give him some bullshit story about where she is without the slightest trace of guilt.

The only factor that determines if a girl will cheat on her man with me, is my own skill level. When my skills were pretty poor, I used to get shut down all the time. Once I got good, pretty much anyone’s wife or girlfriend were within reach.

The sweetest, most innocent girls you’ve ever laid eyes on will cheat at the drop of a hat. The one thing that most men are looking for - loyalty - just isn’t there with women. “Honour”, “word is bond” - these ideas just don’t have the same impact for women. Why? Women are emotionally driven - if they feel it, they do it - end of story. And later, they rationalize it to themselves.

Nothing is more important, or compelling, to a woman than:

• The way she feels
• Learning more about her inner self and having emotional realizations

That’s why even the most intelligent women love astrology, chick flicks, crappy daytime TV, stupid quizzes in magazines that reveal “Which character from Friends you’re most like”.

Men are far from perfect, and far be it from me to suggest they are. All I’m trying to say is that I’ve spent a lot of time with women, and I know how they are. It feels like I took the Red Pill in the Matrix - sometimes I’d rather not know. How can I ever get married now? How could I be the chump who pays for everything and goes through life not worrying because he ‘trusts’ his woman?

Would you leave your dog alone with a steak? Of course not. But you can’t hate the dog for doing what’s in its nature. You can’t trust a dog. But you can trust a dog to be a dog.

Some men are disloyal, but: I could never trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad Presidents, but I could never vote for a woman to be President - can you really expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment? She’ll just rationalize it later.

Did you know that the median 23 year old chick has had three times as many sexual partners as the average 23 year old guy? How’s that possible? If a woman’s getting laid, surely a man is too?

But most men hardly ever get laid. And when they do, they ‘got lucky’. But there’s a small group of guys who get laid all the time, and sleep with many many women. It’s evolution at work. Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men who spike those emotions - they want the top man, so the top man fucks lots of women.

The irony? Sexual revolution, feminism, etc, has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their emotions are volunteering for the modern equivalent of harems. Lucky me, eh?

[digg-reddit-me]Last week’s article on Bill ‘The Pimp’ Clinton garnered a whole range of responses. The underlying theme? As “pimpin’” as Billy-boy may be, he’s still married to Hillary Clinton. No-one rushed to describe Ms Lewinsky as their perfect date either, for that matter.

In that article, however, we did promise what we referred to as “a story of wonder and hope involving a short Hungarian man and his quest to bed all of France’s ageing super-models”.

We won’t quite go that far, but Mr Carla Bruni, aka Nicolas Sarkozy (aka The President of France) certainly qualifies in our books as a ladies man. First there was the beautiful former-model Cécilia Ciganer-Albéniz, and now, of course, the quite lovely Carla Bruni.

Sarkozy himself’s no looker, and he tops out at just 5′4. He’s wealthy, but he’s not loaded. So what’s our man offering that’s getting the lovely Ms Bruni biting?

Be Famous and Powerful

France may no longer be the Napoleonic empire-building military colossus it once was, but there’s not many countries that can tell the US to go fuck themselves, and find the worst repurcussion is a change in how they refer to ‘French Fries’ on Capitol Hill.

With Sarkozy as both Glorious Leader of La République, and getting the title of Prince of Andorra that that confers on him (no kidding), he’s pretty high up on the power and status ladders.

“Kissinger told us that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”, says dating coach Adam Lyons, “and while he’s right, you don’t have to be President or rich to use this to your advantage. Two years ago I decided I didn’t want to be chasing women anymore, I wanted them chasing me. So I went out and started meeting lots of new people, and introducing them all to each other. It created an instant buzz - everyone knew who I was, people were talking about me, and I started getting contacted by night clubs who wanted me to bring crowds. I knew I’d made it when this stunning blonde came up to me on a night out, and told me she’d been trying to meet me for weeks.”

Get Over Your Past

“What made me who I am now is the sum of all the humiliations suffered during childhood” - it’s the kind of statement that’ll stop conversations at polite parties, and get people edging away from you. We’ve all seen Silence of The Lambs, right?

So who are we quoting? The Unabomber? Charles Manson? Michael Jackson? Nope. It’s a Sarkozy original.

“Conveying some vulnerability to girls is a great way to build a connection, and ground who you are”, advises Mr M from Love Systems, “and stories of childhood adversity can be a great way to do this. But here’s the thing: these should be stories of how you overcame difficult situations, and how they made you the great person you are today - steer well clear of that story about how you cry whenever you travel because your father beat you with a globe.”

Be a Snappy Dresser

Named 68th best-dressed man in the world by Vanity Fair, he’s short but he’s sweet. It takes a very special person to commission a paparazzo to take their official Presidential Portrait - the sort of person perhaps who pressurises local gossip magazines to airbrush out their lovehandles (seriously!).

“Some guys really don’t care about looking good and being in style”, according to Brad P, author of The Fashion Bible. “These are the same kinds of guys who burp in public and hardly ever get laid. Women are subtle communicators. They respond best to men who speak their subtle language. Style and grooming require attention to detail. If you can create a style that has nuances and subtleties, women will assume your life has interesting nuances and that you’ll be able to understand her subtle ways of communicating.” Or: dress well to get the ladies, as my mate Dave says.

Live in the Right Neighborhood

Sexy Sarko’s first government position was in Neuilly-sur-Seine. In case you’re not a fluent French speaker, that translates to: “The Beverly Hills of Paris”. Home to Gérard Depardieu (French for “Tom Cruise”) and Jean Reno (French for “That guy from that film ‘Leon’”), it’s been a trendy place to be since the early 1200s.
None of which hurts Nico in the least…

“I live in a box,” says the infamous Paul Janka. “A box in the most expensive neighborhood in the country. The place has one window, no kitchen, a shared bathroom down the hall and a little mini-fridge that sits above incongruous $2000 Armani suits in the closet. And yet, I screw more and better looking girls than all my friends who have infinitely nicer digs.” His secret, apart from the exclusive locale? “I’ve found that women will tolerate most anything, provided the experience is candle-lit.”

Smooth.