Grow Your Game

What’s really cool about learning game is that you realize that you have to have other things going for you in your life in order to be truly successful. There is no magic line or routine that will get you the girl, they are simply tools to convey your personality and identity. The misconception of these lines and routines are why a lot of people get drawn to The Mystery Method. They see it as the quick fix”that will help them to turn around their previous failures and insecurities with girls into success in a short period of time if they just know how to deliver the material.

By reading canned material and trying it out they start to think they need to develop contingences for every possible scenario. “If I just knew what to say if she says X,” or “What if she says X, is it better to say Y or Z?” To get stuck in this pattern of thinking is very dangerous! Learning all possible contingencies might give you an amazingly technical outer game, but if your inner game is weak that will eventually shine through and ruin every interaction you have (with both guys and girls) and make you act weird. You don’t want to be a robot running around delivering stock lines to everything. Nothing is a bigger turn-off for a girl than a guy who’s weird- and besides, the whole purpose with adding pick-up to your life is to make it better – not to make you a weirdo.

Why are questions like the ones above often linked to bad inner game? The reason is that if you have strong inner game, you don’t worry so much and have confidence in yourself that you can solve the problem when/if it arises. You don’t need the crutches of stocked lines for every possible contingency- you will handle the situation anyway.

At the end of the day, canned lines don’t mean anything. If you have your fundamentals down, you can come up with something on the spot that works just as well. What Mystery Method is, is a process and guidance to get to that stage.

Routines are somewhat different as you have a bigger purpose with them, but to be brutally honest you could do well without them too. I’m definitely not saying that you should throw canned routines out the window – I’m just saying that you should know why you are using them, and what you are trying to accomplish when you say them.

If you develop the right attitude towards game (and indeed life in general) you are almost automatically going to be successful. The solution is NOT to learn 50, 100 or 1000 routines, gambits and one-liners and ignore other aspects of life – it’s more or less the opposite. Create the lifestyle that you want to live with a social circle you really want to belong to, pursue the career you really want- and top it off with some killer routines to convey your identity when you need to. For comparison I would rather have the best social circle in the world and ZERO cold approach game than the best cold approach game in the world and zero social circles.

Think of game as a house. Inner game is the foundation of the house, and outer game is decorations and furnishing. If you have a strong foundation, the house will only need some decoration and furnishing and still look good. However, if you have a lousy foundation you need a hell lot of furnishing and decoration to cover it up- and it’s still a shitty house underneath it all.

So what am I trying to get across here? The main point is that I don’t want you to think that learning only outer game will solve all your problems. We can teach you how to get an outstanding outer game, but you’ll have to progress in all aspects of life if you want to be happy and satisfied with yourself. We provide an excellent start with The Mystery Method, but it’s up to you to take that opportunity and change not only how you game but also how you live your life and how you see yourself. Nothing could improve your game more.

Another returned book on attracting women:

Vanilla: “Omari, I can’t read this shit. It’s too long and
complicated.”

This had happened time and time again. My friends would see the way I attracted women, and when they asked me how I was doing it, I would just shove them a book from my book collection, out of sheer laziness to bother to explain my methods. What I didn’t tell them, was that I never used most, if any, of the advice in those books. Like Vanilla said, they were just too long and complicated. Only nerds could understand them, and only nerds had the time to read them and break them down.

Then it occurred to me, before I even had the balls to even approach women, I was still getting laid before all of my friends in grade school. Why was this? And why is it that I do very little now, and still manage to attract women fairly easily? It couldn’t be just looks alone, because I wasn’t that
physically attractive until fairly recently. There had to be more to it. That’s when I sat down and examined everything about my relationships with women, both past and present, and looked at why they were attracted to me. When it was all said and done, I came down to one conclusion. Most of the material that is readily available in the seduction community was an utter waste of time, money, and space. All in all, it was just a downright overcomplicated mess, that in the end, just left more men
not only with an empty bed, but an empty bank account as well.

Attracting women could be broken down into five simple Verses, or simple areas that the average, everyday, normal guy, could easily focus on without worrying about which routine or step to take next, out of the literally thousands available.

What are these areas?

Power
Sincerity
Sexuality
Health
Lifestyle

Here’s a verse on power:

The Verse On Power

Power. What is power?
Money. Does money equal power?

No. I’ll tell you what equals power. Being at the top of whatever your field is. When you’re the best of the best, you attract followers. And with followers, comes leverage. And leverage? No amount of money can buy true leverage.

I need only state the Chinese Revolution as evidence of this true power I speak of. Mao Zedong had no money. All he had was leverage, from his followers, who followed him because of his ability to be the best in his field. No amount of money could take away his leverage. That’s true power, and that’s exactly what women are attracted to.

When I was younger, I wasn’t the best-looking guy, but I could fight really well, and I was funnier than just about anyone I knew at the time. I had several friends, several followers. People laughed. People feared. The women came. My point is, a lot of you have the ability to gain power, but you just don’t realize it yet. You’re blinded by the false power known as currency. When you go after something, strictly for the financial gain, and the financial gain alone, you limit your ability to be the best at something you’re actually talented at.

I’ve done it. I have my insurance license, several computer certifications; I tried pharmacy, construction, city planning, business school, just to name a few of the fields I tried. I did it all for the money, and sank into an ocean of mediocrity. It wasn’t until I stuck with what I loved, writing, that I regained my true power.

What you’ll find, is that just about every field, every talent, has women that want to be with the best. Yes, even videogames. And how can you attract those women if you’re only mediocre?

You want true power? You want the women that come with true power? Do what you love, and become the best at it. What do you gain? Happiness. And the women that come along with it.

I’m a 38 years old, balding, heavy-set man who wears Hawaiian shirts most of the time.

I am also one of the most experienced and socially-mature players in The Game. Despite my looks I do amazingly well with women of all cultures, styles and tastes.

So what is my secret? What is the magic formula that has facilitated my happy life?

I empower women to make their own choices

For the past 15 years I have had a primary girlfriend who I would live with and usually between three and six secondary girlfriends, plus a number of casual partners who might join in the fun sometimes.

The primary girlfriend bears the title of girlfriend and may refer to me as her boyfriend, while the others recognise that they can behave towards me as if I were their boyfriend, but that our relationship is not the overriding one.

I used to manage a ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ system with my primary, and the others would respect that they had to keep things quiet, but it was always a losing proposition- the girlfriends would want more and eventually discontent and jealousy would tear my playhouse down.

8 years ago I recognized the trouble- I didn’t want a harem like this!

So I promised myself that I would no longer allow women to live in denial about their rivals; but this made for very uncomfortable situations of nasty infighting, so it needed to be modified once again.

I finally developed my two rules which has served me very well since 2000.

For all of the women in my life, from my primary (with whom I live with in Toronto) to the girls I met and slept with last weekend in Los Angeles, whom I don’t know if I’ll see again this year, the two rules are absolute, inflexible, intractable and adamantine:

Rule One: I will be no woman’s only male lover!

Rule Two: Every girlfriend must commit to do her best to get along with my other girlfriends.

These two simple pillars keep my house happy, my ladies ecstatic and my sacs drained.

Here’s a little more detail in case the beauty of these rules is lost on anyone:

Rule One

Every woman I am with knows immediately (because I tell her outright) that when I’m not with her, I’m with someone else. Therefore I need for her to understand that she will not ever be entitled to unlimited, unrestricted nor exclusive access to me and so she will need to find ways to keep herself amused when I am elsewhere.

No amount of ‘But Baby, I only want to be with YOU!’ will ever shake my resolve, as that situation is a sure fire road to hell, when a girl’s resentment begins to perk up and she becomes a green-eyed monster.

So by insisting she has other male lovers, I remove her justification for being uptight with me when I’m unavailable to satisfy her cravings. I also ensure that she continually expands her skill set and her expectations, thereby keeping me on my toes and preventing my complacency.

Rule Two

Every girl knows I’m sleeping around, just as they are, and they understand that there are others. They begin to realize that there is no such thing as a rival and that putting down other girls in the circle won’t help anyone, and will in fact bring about their own removal from the circle.

The second rule guarantees a fundamentally harmonious and happy lifestyle which has been working for me for most of this decade and shows no signs of slowing down or falling apart.

Clothing

I’m not going to make this section long, because by now, you should know how to dress decently. But what I will say, is that the way you dress should be the similar to the types of women you want to attract.

If you want classy women, then dress classy. If you want rocker chicks, then dress like a rocker. And if you want doped up crack heads? Then shit, you better jump in honey and go roll around in crack rocks.

However, take it a step further, outdo your competition by kicking it up a notch. Although I have no idea of how you’re going to top a guy with crack all over his body, you
can out-dress your competition by wearing one or two items
from another culture.

For instance, although I primarily go to classy bars, I
wear a labret piercing that is primarily seen in punk
culture. Or I sometimes wear a jacket I purchased that has
rainbow stitching and edges all worn out with strings
hanging. Another rocker/punkish item.

The purpose isn’t to make a woman say “Why is this guy
wearing a space suit to a swimming pool?”, but “that’s an
interesting combination.”. There’s a difference between a
two-year old’s Halloween costume, and actually wearing
something that has artistic expression.

In general, when it comes to looks, you want to look clean,
wear the best shoes you can afford, and wear clean clothes. It isn’t rocket science.

Location

The very first mistake that can fuck up your entire night
and kill any chance of getting laid? The place you decide
to go. Yes, it matters that much.

I pick up women in some of the most difficult bars in my
city. In order to get these women, you need status, lots
and lots of status. Fortunately for me, status is what I
have.

And fortunately for all of us, we get to choose the place
we go to pick up women. When you’re looking at location,
you need to ask yourself three things. What are these women looking for? What types of men do they want? And do I meet
these criteria?

For instance, at Brother’s, a bar downtown, there are a lot
of bachelorette parties full of married women. However,
these married women are probably just out to have fun. And
the chances of one of them going home with you are slim.

But at Azuri, an age 25+ crowd up north, the married women
there are promiscuous and are probably looking for a good
fuck. In other words, it’s a completely different bar
culture.

As for types of guys, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Women
will go to clubs that have the highest ratio of men they’d
like to fuck. Being an urban guy that can dance, I’d have a
better chance of getting laid at a club that plays hip-hop
music where women like to dance, than I would at a country
western sports bar.

This rule doesn’t just cater to bars. It works everywhere.
I only attempt to get women at places that are going to
have women with some of the same interests as me.

Finding a cool wing can be tough. The truth is, there is no quick fix to your wing problem. However, until you do find a decent wing realize that going out alone isn’t as bad you think it is. If anyone asks where your friends are just say, “They’re here somewhere.” They usually don’t even ask.

It’s usually better to go out alone then try to find a wing in your close social circle unless you super-trust them. Every time you go out they will be like, “Let’s see it man. I thought you read that shit. I thought you said it worked? Why do you ask them those fucked up questions about your friends ex girlfriend? That’s stupid.”

There’s nothing wrong with going out with your social circle and gaming without telling your friends what you’re doing (you know, reading about it on the internet…) I actually like the guys I hang with and they give me some social proof, and if I’m not running game, hanging with them is genuinely fun. Having people you can genuinely have fun with is ten times more powerful for your game than having a guy who is willing to go open sets

The only good thing about having a wing is if he is a motivated motherfucker who will hold you accountable and make you go out. A guy who won’t let you pussy out and say you are tired or this bar is dead or whatever excuse we often make.

Rock Your World One Day At A Time

Don’t think that now you know game you need to ditch your friends who don’t know game. If you have a great set of friends who are supportive, deeply care about you, and who make your quality of life better, than why would you cut them out of your life just because they have no game? It makes no sense.

What you may find though is as you evolve, create better boundaries in your life, create a better personality, and stop accepting low class behavior from others, your paradigm on life changes drastically. You start to notice friends that treat you poorly. Before you just accepted it and were glad to have friends in your life.

As you meet cooler and cooler people you will outgrow people who remain stagnant in their life and resent you for your new found success. Don’t be mad at them and don’t assume that you are better than them. You have merely acquired a skill set that helped you grow as a person.

Some of your old friends will love the new you and would love you no matter what (keep those guys). Some guys will laugh at you as you grow, say toxic shit that makes you feel insecure, and do everything in their power to keep you just where you were. It makes them feel horribly uncomfortable to see you change for the better.

As your skill grows, you will laugh at bad behavior from men and women. It won’t sting as much as it once did. You will live in more of an abundance frame and realize that you are no longer the old guy who would just be friends with anyone.

With new friendships you develop walk in with the idea that you are going to offer value and respect and that is the minimum you expect back. Having standards is extremely powerful and will serve you better in the long run. It will ensure that your relationships are win/win. There is no consolation prize for being loyal to someone who treats you like shit. All that is really happening is you are retarding your potential and growth with every second you spend in their presence. Be true and loyal to yourself before you try to be true and loyal to another.

Someone emailed me, and asked me what would I think of my son or grandson reading my articles? It got me thinking. I’m a full-time dating coach, and one day, I’ll be a father, so what advice would I give my son on meeting women?

I don’t think I’d tell him about the community, or about websites like this. But I would try and tell him how to become a man that women will be naturally drawn to.

I’d tell him about the importance of having standards that other people have to live up to, rather than living up to other peoples standards.

I’d tell him to treat everybody equally, including women. As Kipling said: “If [everyone] counts with you, but none too much”. Women don’t want you to be overly nice, or nervous, or boring, or needy. They want to be treated by you how you treat your friends.

I’d tell him to try and find something good in everyone, no matter what. And any time he was interacting with a woman, to tell her why he liked her.

I’d teach him how to make friends with everyone, but to have standards for the men and women in his life – to make sure that his friends meet his standards, especially being loyal to him.

I’d teach him to stand up for himself and not let people push him around.

I’d teach him that there are more women than men on this earth, and he never has to settle for a woman who doesn’t make him happy.

I’d teach him to play sports and get out of the house. No sitting around playing video games or watching TV.

I’d teach him to develop his passion for things, and to never make a woman the number 1 priority in his life.

I’d teach him that it’s ok to be single, or to be married. Do what makes you happy, not what other people ‘expect’ of you.

I’d teach him that sex is normal and natural, and not something to be ashamed of.

I’d encourage him to have mostly male friends and mentors, but to make sure there were girls in his social circle too.

I’d encourage him to spend some time working in sales, or as a waiter, to get him happy with interacting with strangers – and I’d encourage him to strike up conversations with people he didn’t know as soon as he was old enough for it to be safe.

I’d teach him that the most important person in any relationship he’s in is him, and that occasional arguments in relationships are normal. And that even if it gets him grounded, he should stand up to me.

I’d teach him to respect women, but also that women fart and piss just like guys, and that they love sex just as much. That a woman who makes you laugh is much more valuable to you than a woman who’s pretty but dull.

Finally, I’d teach him that you can do anything you want in your life, as long as you’re not trying to hurt anyone, and you’re honest about your intentions.

That’s what I’ll teach my son.