Grow Your Game

In order to grab the woman that you want, you need to learn the art of walking away. Most men will not walk away.

What happens to most men is that they’ll go to a party, find a woman they want to talk to, smother her, and they won’t leave . . . this results in the woman’s attraction level dropping each minute this continues. The opposite result occurs, i.e., the attraction increases, when you walk away from a woman to whom you’re most attracted.

Take this example. You walk up to talk to a woman you’re really attracted to, you connect and have a good conversation with her for a couple of minutes, and then . . . you walk away. When you walk away, it gives her a moment to reflect and to think “That guy just walked away. No one just walks away. Most men smother me. How come this guy just walked away?”

It creates powerful intrigue in her mind. She’s wondering who you are, what you’re all about, and how you could walk away from her. It creates incredible attraction on her part.

So then what will happen is she will find a way to find you again at the party. Or, you’ll walk around that party and the minute she sees you, she’ll plant a very seductive, sexy smile on you so you stop. Or, she’ll talk to you about something going on at the moment or ask you a question to reignite the conversation that she was having with you before.

Most guys are afraid to walk away from a woman they’re really attracted to, because it took a lot of nerve to talk to her in the first place. What you learn when you practice speaking to a lot of different women, however, is that walking away from a woman you’re interested in is the only way to see whether or not you’ve connected with her. When you’re in Smotherville – smothering a woman with conversation that may or may not be going anywhere – you’re just talking to her in random thoughts and thus not really knowing if you connect with her or not.

Why do women always go for the “bad boy?” Why do women always go for the guy who doesn’t like them or doesn’t pay them any attention? Because that man has learned the art of “the walk away.”

You need to learn and perfect the art of the walk away, and you need to use it the next time you see a beautiful woman and you talk to her. This is what you’ll do:

After you’ve been talking to her for a few minutes, you need to walk away, let her simmer for five or six minutes or . . . twenty minutes, and let her see you talking to other people. It’s going to bring out an incredible competitive fire in her, especially if you’re speaking with other women. It doesn’t matter what the women look like, it’s sufficient that they’re just other women. Or, if you’re speaking to men, it also works if everyone is laughing because you’re giving them the best of you. All of the sudden that woman is simmering so much, that she’s going to come back because you have the power of the walk away.

You have to master the power of the walk away in order to attract beautiful women everywhere you go. This is because women love a leader, and women love men who can walk away from something right at the height of the conversation.

It’s going to make them want more . . .

and that’s what you need to create. You need to create desire in women, so they want you more.

Value is of utmost importance in your interactions with women. It determines how willing a woman is to meet up with you, it determines a woman’s level of physical attraction for you, and ultimately, value determines how far a woman will go just to be in your life. Naturally, I get many questions from people asking me how they can increase their value: “Do I raise my value through DHV storytelling, do I lower her value through negs and indifference or do I use push / pull or what?”

Firstly you must realize that value is almost entirely based on perception. That’s right. The only value that actually exists is inside the minds of the people around you. Sure there are things that society says is valuable, like how much money you make or what kind of car you drive, and based on society’s perception, some level of value can be assigned to people. But it is still just perception. What I am going to present to you today is a fundamental model of value. What I mean is, this model determines the effect that other value-shifting techniques will have when they are used. Value shifters like stories containing DHV spikes and negs as well as social value cues like cocky humor and peacocking are all subject to this fundamental concept.

This means that all of the above mentioned techniques will work perfectly when you have this fundamental concept down, and will fall absolutely flat if you do not. How compliance relates to value

First let me steal a term from Sinn of Mystery Method. The term compliance is used to measure the willingness a girl has to do something with you or for you. Sinn tells me this concept has replaced what used to be known as ‘hoop theory’. Sinn has also written an article called ‘Negative Compliance Momentum’ wich is definitely worth checking out. In short, getting a girl to talk to you when you approach her requires some level of compliance. Getting a girl to buy you drink requires a little bit more compliance, and of course getting a girl to the point where she is open to having sex with you requires even more. Compliance is directly proportional to value. The higher your perceived value, the more compliance you will naturally get from a woman. The higher you perceive a woman’s value, the more compliant you will be to her, automatically.

Let me illustrate the fundamental nature compliance has with relation to value. If you tell a story about something off-the-wall that happened when you were chillin’ at the Playboy Mansion, it can quite potentially be a demonstration of higher value. Let’s say you use this Playboy Mansion DHV, but then she tests you by asking you to hold her drink while she dances, and you oblige. Your entire story is now negated. Since compliance is more fundamental than a story, she is perceiving your value based on the former. If instead of holding her drink, you instead explain that you might meet up with her later, then you would have been congruent and retained the value from the story. In fact, you could have been having a conversation with her about the mating patterns of the blue-jay in New England, and you would still have higher value. The Value-Compliance relationship is fundamental.

Here is where it gets interesting. The compliance scales are different for men and women. Typically, men seek compliance based in replication value. That is, they are out to get a woman’s sexual value. They want to be close to a woman, touch her, kiss her and have sex with her. Women on the other hand, seek compliance based in survival value. Traditionally, women have urges toward getting protection, shared living space, and financial support from men. In fact, if you look at the nearly extinct paradigm of dating and marriage, and make two bars representing a man and a woman’s compliance scales, the relationship becomes very clear.

Here I have made two bars, each representing a man and woman’s relative values. The height of the bar represents their perceived value. (The man and woman have equal value in this diagram) The tick marks along the side represent the levels of compliance that are available for each person. In this diagram, the man has potential to get sex from the woman, and the woman has potential to get marriage from the man.

I know some of you are laughing as you realize that most women don’t wait until marriage to have sex. That’s fine. This model is just an illustration of the compliance scales of men and women that everyone can relate to. We’ll get into some common scenarios and practical application a little later. Actually, this diagram is rather generous. In our society, the issue is further confused by the idea that a man must ‘win over’ a woman with a diamond ring in order to marry her – A frame of mind like that leaves a man with such little perceived value!

Keep in mind, the actual compliance levels are quite arbitrary. I have labeled them for illustration, but in general just remember that a woman seeks compliance related to her immediate survival and the immediate survival of her family, while a man seeks compliance related to genetic survival and accessing a healthy, beautiful woman’s genes through sex. So we will see women chasing things like emotional strength, leadership and wealth, and we will see men chasing things like pretty faces and hot bodies. Evolution has created this situation for us.

Mutual Compliance Escalation

When a man and a woman meet, and become involved with each other, they take turns being compliant to each other.

A man approaches a woman, she in turn gives him attention and talks to him. He asks her a few questions to screen her, she then complies and answers. He complies by qualifying her with a nice compliment. He asks her to go window shopping with him and she agrees, etc. On and on you go until you have reached full compliance from the woman. Unfortunately most men never even achieve full compliance from a woman, yet surrender their own full compliance all the time. It is a common mistake to believe that the more compliance you give, the more you will get from a woman and the more she will be attracted to you.

So, a man and a woman go back and forth escalating compliance in a mutual way from one rung of the ladder to the next.

Keep in mind this is not to be confused with Mutual Value Escalation, which instead means raising the levels of both of your value bars relative to the people around you via leadership, future adventure projections, teamwork / role playing frames and dominance over others. In order to move to the next level of compliance, two things are necessary. Firstly, you need perceived value of at least the same level or higher than the girl. Your value creates attraction and a willingness to comply. The second thing you need is comfort and trust. After all, women don’t go around sleeping with every guy that has higher value than them.

The purpose of comfort and trust is so the girl feels safe knowing that the compliance escalation will continue after her current action. Both of these are needed in proportion to the level of the request you are making. Being compliant to her requests is one way of developing comfort and trust, but it is recommended to only comply with small requests that you don’t mind fulfilling. Hold off on complying to the large requests at first, since it has potential to be quite detrimental to your value. Take your time with the escalation and be sure to go through the full process of screening and qualification (both false and genuine). Attraction is the result of withheld compliance. Whatever compliance a girl feels she deserves but doesn’t yet have, produces attraction to you, the source of value. Screening and qualification is what makes her feel as though your compliance is worth pursuing. The best way to engage a girl, therefore is to demonstrate high value and produce relevant qualification.

A couple other things are worth mention. Asking a person to do something, and having them reject you puts your value into flux. (We’ll talk about value flux a little later, when we discuss application) When a person declines your compliance request, it is not necessarily because they perceive your value as being low it it usually just because they aren’t sure what your value is yet. Look at a rejection as an opportunity. When your request is rejected, your value is in flux, and it is an opportunity for you to define it with your subsequent actions.

For instance, if you go to kiss a girl, and she rejects you, it’s not necessarily because she perceives your value as being low. It is simply because she’s not sure. If you go and try to kiss her again, right away, you may lose some points with her. If you get angry or upset, or otherwise deflated or thrown off your game, you will certainly lose value. If, on the other hand you are cool and nonchalant about it, or you humorously tease her and joke about it, your perceived value will increase. At that point, you can safely try again at a later time and your chances of getting the kiss will have improved. Orbiters and Let’s Just Be Friends (LJBF)

Let’s look at the special case where the man has lower perceived value than the woman.

Notice that sex is completely out of reach. No matter what a man does, he cannot get a woman of much higher value to comply to having sex with him. As a result, a woman will usually tell him “Let’s just be friends.” He becomes one of her many ‘orbiters’ and continues to fight a battle leading nowhere. In fact, there is both an instinctual and societal motivation for women to lure the men in their lives into this type of role. After all, evolutionarily, this meant more men to help raise the children she was having with the alpha male.

Realize however, that depending on how high the value is, the orbiter will be able to get some kind of compliance from the woman, even if it isn’t full-on sex. You can see that this fellow can get a kiss from her every now and then. How sweet. Also, it doesn’t mean he has to marry her to get a kiss. It is sufficient that she already knows she could get married to the guy, if she were so inclined. That is why the concept of the ‘no-challenge’ switch is so important. The woman has these men at her disposal for whatever survival value she wishes to take from them: Companionship, dates, spending money, backup for her real boyfriend, everything is fair game.

Players and Fuck-Buddy (FB) Relationships Just as common as women who collect orbiters, there are guys who sleep around with many different women, no strings attached.

Notice that marriage is completely out of reach.

There is nothing this woman can do to get this guy to marry her. In fact, in this this guy probably isn’t going to be exclusive with her. Basically, all this guy has to do is show up, talk to her and give her some good emotions, and she will have sex with him. Hence the term “Fuck-Buddy”. She does however have a chance at getting dinner every once in a while, so we can call this example an “upgraded” FB relationship. Unlike women, who have both instinctual and societal motivations to lower the perceived value of their mates, for men it is merely instinctual. Societal programming tends to motivate men into beta-provider type roles. Look around and you’ll see evidence everywhere. Deep down, our genes are telling us otherwise.

Most men, whether they admit to it or not, would love to have a few different sex partners that they aren’t committed to. After all, what kind of man doesn’t like sexual variety? From an evolutionary standpoint, these are the women that will bear his children, as he proliferates his genes. The interesting thing is, we realize that this is still a traditional mindset. The escalation of compliance levels still leads to marriage. Players in this society still usually get married if they find the “right” woman. They are searching for that one woman who has high enough value or good enough game to get them to make a commitment.

Once a man has a few girls who cater to his every need, it becomes less exciting. There’s no more challenge and nothing left to chase. What both sexes want ultimately, is high levels of compliance from high value people. In addition, the fact that sex is so high on a woman’s scale of compliance is both an outdated traditional model and unacceptable for our purposes.

In fact, I will go so far to say that the true fundamental goal of a real pickup artist is to lower the effective compliance of sex, and move it lower on the scale.

Reverse Supplication Levels

What many guys realize as they become better with women, is that sex isn’t necessarily at the very top of a woman’s compliance scale.

We’ve all seen women who do everything for their men. They buy them gifts, cook them dinner and clean their apartments. There are women who would practically die for their men. We also know about pimps who have their hoes out on the streetcorner, every night making money for them. These women are selling their bodies to strangers to earn money so that their men are taken care of.

Talk about a high level of compliance! At first, it may seem completely unreal to ever have women that compliant to you. After all, there are many guys who cannot even get their girlfriends to call have sex with them!

It turns out to be quite easy, actually, and is based on a few simple dynamics. There are all kinds of levels of compliance that reside beyond sex, leading up to full compliance which is defined as willingness to either die for a man or commit her life to his cause. Prostitution fits this basic definition close enough. The levels that reside beyond sex leading all the way up to prostitution are called the reverse supplication levels. I have defined reverse supplication as a man receiving survival-type compliance from a woman. Inserting the reverse supplication levels into a woman’s compliance scale gives us Fig. 3a.

As you can see I have filled in some examples into the reverse supplication levels. Dinner, clothing, a new car, all the way leading up to prostitution. Playing at that level is pimp game and I’m not interested in that right now. Between sex and prostitution is a very real region, of which holds many interesting possibilities.

Just the simple acknowledgment of these levels lowers the effective compliance of sex. Bringing these levels into existence by reaching for them will make sex come that much easier. Value is only perception, and if you are overshooting the goal of sex by making larger requests, you can be perceived as having extremely high value. In other words, if all you want is sex, the best way to get it, is to simply set your sights BEYOND it.

<ul><li> Ask a girl to write you a poem or draw you a picture * Ask her what kind of girls she likes before you’ve even slept with her

<li>Assume you’re going to sleep with other girls in her social circle before you’ve even slept with her * Find out if she has any connections to club owners and tell her you’d like VIP access</ul>

Keep in mind, you aren’t taking value from others, you are merely increasing your own perceived value, such that everything you give is appreciated to a higher degree. It will make everything you do that much more powerful. People will be more likely to listen to you, more likely to laugh at your jokes and more likely to try to get rapport with you. I won’t go too far into this here, but the basic formula for escalating compliance is to take it one small step at a time. We aren’t talking a few dates, this stuff can take months. Compliance is pliable. When you have a woman at breaking point and push her threshold, her maximum level of compliance increases.

Another key is making it fun and worthwhile for a woman to do these things. Make your requests that are related to your identity. If you are a chef, have her pick up some groceries so you can prepare a romantic dinner. If you are an artist, have her pick up a new set of brushes, and let her watch you create a masterpiece. Build a lifestyle in which the two of you can share. Though this article is only a small portion of my entire reverse supplication method, it is still powerful enough to warrant two points of caution. Firstly, do not use this method for abuse. Women do these things because they love us and care for us. Don’t run this on a poor college girl, and don’t run it on a woman you aren’t willing to be straight with. Use it carefully to develop your lifestyle and enhance the experiences that you share together. Secondly, don’t ever become so dependent that you lose responsibility for yourself. If it ever gets to the point that you cannot maintain your finances or keep your apartment clean all by yourself, you’ll be in trouble. Trust me on this one.

Set High Expectations

When it comes to value, nothing beats having high expectations of other people and putting a price on yourself.

So many guys are willing to sacrifice their own best interests in order to make a girl happy, or to get together with her. Don’t go driving two hours out of the way just to see her, don’t ditch your buddies to hang out with her, and don’t volunteer to buy her dinner if you’ve just met her. In addition, you should expect women to respect you and treat you well. If you compliment a woman, expect her to respond positively to it. Many guys fail with compliments because they don’t hold her to high expectations and instead continue to be nice to her after she has disrespected them by ignoring the compliment.

Make a woman commit to giving you full attention when you are communicating with her, whether it be in person, on the phone or even in a chat room. Also be willing to walk away if she doesn’t meet your standards. There are plenty of women that will. Most of the time a willingness to walk will only help you, and draw them in closer. The best way to punish bad behavior is with indifference. Any reaction whatsoever is actually a reward, because it telegraphs your emotional investment. Sometimes it helps to make it absolutely clear what she did wrong in a dominant, (not angry) voice, and then follow it with indifference, both physical and verbal.

Value Flux and Reward Calibration

There are times in an interaction with a woman when your value is in flux. That is, your value has no definition. Realize that this is not necessarily a bad thing but rather an opportunity to define it.

The first situation that causes value flux was mentioned above – it is when you make a compliance request. For example you try to kiss her, and she either obliges or rejects you. Your value is then defined by your reaction to it. The second situation is when a girl displays good behavior. That is, she does something to indicate a higher level of compliance then where she was at previously. For example: she calls you, she follows you as you lead her around the club, or she buys you a new pair of shoes. These are all examples of good behavior.

Good behavior should never be punished, except in small amounts. In general it should be rewarded. Sometimes punishing good behavior in small amounts works to confuse her and obsess about you. Major jumps in positive compliance in her part should be rewarded. But how should her good behavior be rewarded?

Let’s take a look what happens when a woman does something good, and your value is in flux.

In this example, the woman has kissed you. In general this behavior is in the right direction and should be rewarded. There is a wide range of ways to do this, but keep in mind, your reward will define your value, and therefore how she responds to you in the future. Let’s say after the kiss, you decide to make her your girlfriend and be exclusive to her. See Figure 4b.

So the girl kisses you, and you decide to be exclusive to her. You start the “relationship talk” and tell her you’ve decided that you only want to see her. Bad move. It would probably result in her telling you to take a hike, unless she’s a virgin and kissing is pretty high on her scale anyway. Since exclusivity is pretty high on your compliance scale, transposing your value bar so that it lines up with kissing would result in an extremely low perceived value.

Ok let’s see what happens instead if you merely give her a compliment after she has kissed you.

As we see there, rewarding her kiss with a simple compliment goes a lot further. You will create a much higher perceived value for yourself, and in the process increase your chances of more positive responses in the future. By creating a large amount of perceived value, you present yourself as a challenge to be overcome. A woman will realize that her efforts will be both appreciated and at the same time, it will be an interesting chase.

Previously I mentioned that it is the ultimate goal to lower the effective level of sexual compliance. That is, get it as low as possible on the compliance scale. Using these concepts, it shouldn’t be very difficult. Eventually it will get to a point where it hits the bottom and drops off her scale altogether.

The True Alpha Male

Although both value bars for the man and woman may be high, through skillful game and correct attitudes, the effective compliance of sex will eventually drop off the bottom of the woman’s bar.

Where does it go once that happens? To your compliance scale.

Any given interaction between a man and a woman must appear on either the man or the woman’s side. (One party always wants something a little bit more than the other, no matter how slight the difference may be) So it may not have a lot of weight, but it is going to show up on one of the scales. If you reduce the compliance of sex so much that it disappears from the woman’s bar, it must appear on your side. This is what happens when you truly become the prize of the interaction.

The flipped compliance scales, where a man is chased for his replication value and his woman contributes to the bulk of their survival value.

This situation represents a natural and fundamental scenario of a true alpha male. This happens when the highest value that a woman can contribute is her energy and resources, and the highest contribution the man can make is his genes.

This is the difference between a real alpha male and what the general population believes is alpha. Since most people identify alphas with taking up space, walking slow and talking very loud, this is a significant improvement. Keep in mind although full compliance is defined here as prostitution, it doesn’t mean the girls are actually selling themselves at full compliance, it just means that they would be willing to and their man knows fully he has that power over them.

While most men are out there struggling just to get the pussy, you can rise above that. I invite you now to imagine fully what is possible. Don’t set your goals so low that you would be thrilled just to get laid. Realize the bigger picture of what is possible. Live a lifestyle where women are making your dreams come true in every area of your life.

In what ways can a woman support your aspirations and contribute to your happiness? Allow them to bring you excitement and energy, and imagine a life where they are doing all of this simply for the opportunity to please you sexually.

There’s no way around it. If you want a specific woman real badly, you won’t get her. Why? Maybe it’s because nature has a cruel sense of humor, but the important thing is that this is nature, and that is a rule.

If you want a thing really badly and you would do anything to get it, you will get it.

If you want a woman really badly and you would do anything to get her, forget it.

How do we solve this problem? Doesn’t this create an incongruence? No. For me, this is part of what creates the Zen of meeting women. Most good looking women have an incongruence with guys. When most guys see them, they see perfection. But when they see themselves, they see faults and how they could be better.

You know that feeling you get when an unattractive woman is all over you because she thinks you’re hot? You think “it’s cool but I could do better.” That is you when you’re drooling over a hot woman. She wants you to see her how she sees herself: a person with lots of faults, lots of insecurities, lots of room for improvement, and who is nowhere near perfect.

She’s used to her body, she sees it everyday, it’s normal, and she sees past that. She expects you to do the same. If you’re treating her any differently because of her looks, in her mind you’re a caveman; you’re the simpleton who hasn’t grown past it. You know there’re lots of 5s who want you, but it’s just not something you chose to focus on. You focus on the challenges.

So how do we become desirable?

Other women.

Other women are the key that opens a lot of gates. I don’t care if this woman is your first date ever. If you communicate the fact that if she doesn’t go out with you, other women will, she will be the first one lined up with all of her make-up.

Women are very competitive. Imagine you’re starving in the desert, and there’s a guy with one juicy burger, but he has to choose between you and another five people whom to give that burger. That’s the kind of competitiveness women have.

Women know a lot of this, especially the hottest ones. They have it internalized because unlike you and me, they had no choice about learning it. They have been getting approached over and over and desired by plenty of guys since they were in high school.

This is why desire = lower value. Every other guy acts the same way.

Use the jealousy plotline in every interaction. Tell a story about how you just met the craziest three German women ever, and how you went to the movies and got kicked out because you were all laughing so hard. It doesn’t matter if it’s true, it matters that she has to take you because otherwise you’re going to have a wild party with those other women and then she missed out.

She’s not that important and she knows it. She just wants regular treatment. Punish bad behavior. Reward good behavior. And for the rest talk about stuff that’s cooler than her.

For the longest time I killed myself trying to figure out what “talking about stuff that’s cooler than her” did. What I realized is that this means talking about cooler people and events than her. Tell a story about the club promoter and how you made up some names like John Smith and Marilyn Monroe to get on the list so you could bring random friends that called you afterwards. Tell her about the party you just threw downtown where all your crazy friends showed up and you all had a blast, and how the place ended up looking like a mess after.

The secret to saying stuff like that is always focusing on the lousy part, so it doesn’t look like you’re bragging. So if you had just bought a BMW, you’d say “I just got my first BMW. It’s not exactly the one I wanted, but hey, it’s a start.”

Talking about the cool people you know or events you attended is a huge display of your positive qualities for a lot of women. The hottest women are very value oriented, so the more value you and your life have, the more value you have to them. So just treat her like a dork, and tell her about you hanging out with your model friends. Always tell her “they’re my friends.” If she asks for more, tell her “they’re just my friends, just like you and I are friends.”

In my experience, this is the way to get hot women out of their shells and get them to chase you. It puts them in a competitive state of mind.

The important thing is never to get distracted and change your state of mind because they just want you to chase after them. You have to be like the carrot dangling at the end of the stick. Foster the illusion that she will never get you, and then act like “it just happened.”

Tell her “hey, we’re just friends.” When you show her proof that you hang out with lots of hot women, she will inevitably let it slip that she wants to be a part of it. Treat that as a test. Do not let her in. Keep her always chasing you until you are in your apartment, then make out with her and go as far as you want. That way “it just happened.”

Focus on the one you want and you will fail. Focus on other women and display that to her and you will be in control. The person with the least interest in an interaction has all the control. For us guys, the way to keep this control is by the threat of other women snatching you. Keep that in mind.

A lot of guys ask me the question “is it okay for me to buy her a drink?” It’s actually a controversial subject among guys who teach others how to meet women. Some people will say “never,” because it makes you look supplicant, or needy, while others say you should always do it.

Personally, I don’t think it’s a big deal.

You certainly don’t want to give the impression that you are bribing a woman into talking to you. That’s why I generally advise that you don’t open a conversation with “can I buy you a drink?” However, at a certain place in an interaction, it’s totally appropriate to do this.

Usually, when I buy a woman a drink, it’s 5-10 minutes into the conversation. At this point, we’re moving past small talk and silly jokes and entering the “getting to know you” kind of conversation. When she says something funny, or interesting, trying to impress you a bit, that is the time to buy a drink for a woman. By waiting until the right moment, you make her feel as though she has earned your interest (buying a drink shows interest, obviously) by impressing you.

I also don’t just say “what do you want?” and walk off. Buying a drink is a good opportunity to go for a little walk around the bar, and perhaps speak to her in a more private situation. If she’s surrounded by friends (and most beautiful women are), a walk to the bar is the easiest and most natural way to get her away from them so you can speak with her one-on-one. Getting a woman one-on-one is a very important step in building the kind of deep attraction that you need in order to meet up with her again.

One disclaimer though – if she’s already drunk, don’t buy her another drink. Not only is it morally wrong to ply women with alcohol, but it’s much more likely to ruin your interaction with a woman than make it better. There’s nothing worse than meeting a really sweet woman at 10PM, only to find out at 1AM she’s a rambling, annoying drunk. Sober women are more fun, more interesting and much more likely to answer the phone when you call (or come home with you, for that matter).

I’m at the point where almost anything will open. But what I’m looking for is openers that lead into a lot of other good stuff. My best openers are the ones that flow seamlessly into routines, qualifying, and stuff like that. I guess if you deliver the opener enough times you can find those seamless transitions, but some openers just don’t lend themselves to it.

For the record, I hate neutral opinion openers. I can execute them just fine and all, but I hardly ever do. Yeah sure they get the chick talking and buy you another minute, but they’re just too blah for me. Some of these openers just leave me feeling sort of- I don’t know- less than satisfied. They give me that not-so-fresh feeling.

Here’s a good example of one that works, the Cotton Candy Opener:

Go up to a woman and say “Hey, do you know anyplace to get cotton candy around here this time of night?”

This flows into the following:

1. I’m immediately mentally qualifying her based on her answer. A druggy will think I’m talking about drugs. Someone with no sense of humor will tell me a serious answer like “Wal-Mart.” Cool women know it’s a joke, and they joke back. They sense I’m qualifying them, and it’s a good thing.

2. A woman will often ask why you asked her that. I say “because you look like you go to the circus a lot.” This is confusing and mystifying. I’m not sure why, but it works. I think it’s some kind of an off-beat tease. Then I ask when was the last time she went to the circus, and if the answer is never I lead into “were you an under-privileged ghetto child?” If she has been, I let her talk a moment about childhood memories. Only rarely will a woman get totally offended by the circus thing, about 1 in 50 I’d say.

3. I say “where I’m from you can get it anytime 24/7 cause there’s a Mexican guy who sells it on the corner at 3am.” She’ll ask “where are you from?” I make her guess. Now we’re in a guessing game. I might start guessing stuff about her too, which can lead into psychic-type routines. “I’m from New York City” I eventually tell them, which makes me instantly cooler than the women. They’re in awe of you if you say you’re from New York City. (Well, unless you’re actually in New York City in which case you need to switch it up a bit. Like say Los Angeles, or Queens.)

4. This leads into a “reckon/yonder” routine, which is where I make fun of wherever it is that she’s from. “Do you use the word reckon? How about yonder… how ’bout fixin’” This stuff makes me much cooler than the woman.

5. This leads into “do you crawl through cow fields in the middle of the night looking for psychedelic mushrooms growing in cow shit, ’cause my friend Carl told me a story about that and I think it’s gross.”

Okay, by that point she’s hooked, and I may be escalating physically, or I may have decided that she’s not worth my time and I move on to the next set.

To master game so that you can consistently get the type of relationships you want, not only with women in the general sense, but with that special woman that you want, it requires a lot of knowledge and practice to get there. To attain mastery there are five main areas you have to master. This list is a broad view of the main concepts you need to grasp.

Attraction

- the ability to attract a woman to you.

This can be learned and is, surprisingly, the easiest area to master. When a woman is around you her attraction to you is very rooted in her emotional state. Personality conveyance techniques that fall into this area include demonstration of higher value (DHV) stories and embeds, push/pull, cold reading, mini cold reads, future projections, teasing/negs, elastic bands, cocky and funny, drama lines, AMOGing, plotlines, magic, emotional talk and kino and chase cycling. Getting kino (touching) is a key part of this – not only does touching increase attraction, but it also a requirement for things escalating into something truly romantic. Chase cycling gets the girl to chase you – another critical element for solid interactions.

Value

- what your perceived value to her is.

Women actually do get very logical about the men in their lives – they do this when they are not being emotional. So even if you attract a woman in a venue, the next day she is thinking about returning your call/text – you are not around, she is not being emotional, so she thinks logically about you. She thinks about how you fit in her world, attraction aside because there are a lot of guys she is attracted to and she doesn’t continue interactions with most of them. She thinks about positive things like – would her friends approve? Are you physically good looking? Do other women like you? Do you have a lot of friends? Are you a “tribal leader”? Are you rich or famous? She is also thinking negative things (your disqualifiers) such as are you bald, old, fat, poor, dangerous or ugly? Additionally, she weights your current value against her current options (like her boyfriend). If you don’t come up on top – you are out. For maximum consistency, a man has to learn to communicate/demonstrate their real world value while he is with her – so when she does get logical you still win! Real world value has to be real (I don’t encourage any man to ever lie to a woman) and convincingly communicated – so this area can be tough for some people. If relationships were just about attraction, then mastery would be easy – but its not.

Comfort

- how safe and comfortable she feels around you.

Comfort is where you have to master being normal and really getting to know each other. Mystery discovered that you have to spend between 4 to 10 hours with a woman either in person or on the phone before sexual escalation can safely begin without causing buyer’s remorse. Techniques for this include DHV-embedded activities and talk (palmistry, magic, dancing, cooking grill cheese sandwiches, massage, sailing with friends, singing, home made movies are some of my favorites), vibing, grounding, vulnerable communication, plotlines, more future projections, sexual/emotional talk, time distortion and rapport building conversational skills.

Chillness

- Normality.

The single biggest problem that the guys that learn the skill set have as a group is coming off WEIRD. Bottom line, even if you can levitate objects and are the funniest guy on earth, none of that matters if you don’t come off completely normal, chill and non-weird. For a lot of guys this is a tough nut to crack. From an instruction point of view, we spend a lot of time on body language, physical touch, vocal tonality, normal delivery, and appearance/dress to get guys more normal. We spend an equally great amount of time to eliminate all the quirks guys collect over years of rejection that make them non-normal. The latter consists of all the reaction-seeking, the leaning-in, the nervous twitching, the jumpy personality, the strange pauses in vocal delivery and this list goes on (trust me – I’ve see it all). Most guys don’t know that they are doing any of these negative behaviors (and don’t understand why they are bad), so this is where in field instruction is an absolute must.

Love

-Sex and Relationships.

Most men don’t have anywhere near enough experience to be able to really create amazing loving and sexual relationships with women. They don’t satisfy the women that they have worked so hard to get. Are you honestly and realistically communicating to her about how she fits in your life? Do you create comfortable situations for the woman to open up sexually? Does she alter her schedule for you? Do your relationships last? Is the sex hot? Does she obsess over you? Does she want to repeat your sexual encounter over and over and over again? Do you end your relationships appropriately? This is the last area of mastery because to master it you have to have the above 4 covered -otherwise you don’t have the opportunities to get this right.

On top of all that all of this has to be sequenced right!