Your First Day
Go to as many freshman-oriented events AS POSSIBLE. Go there even if you’re a sophomore. Almost everyone will be scared and confused by the new environment. Use that to your advantage. They don’t know you. You don’t know them. This is your ONLY chance to start everything from scratch. In high school you might have had ‘bad’ reputation, but in college, you’re given another chance. Don’t fuck it up.
Campus will provide ‘first year experience’ program for its newcomers. Use it. If there is no such thing, find out what is available.
Live In A Fucking Dorm
Don’t be a vagina and live with your parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Saving money, blah! blah! blah! Explain to your parents, importance of social life! Explain them that you want to make it on your own and you would want to make friends. I know, sometimes, it might be hard, but you HAVE to live in dorms at LEAST for a year. You will mature faster, learn interpersonal communication, learn how to get along with people (your dorm-mates) and acquire a bag full of wonderful ‘that-time-we-were-drunk’ stories. (check out ColegeHumor.com for more motivational material)
ONLY first week after move in, it’s OK to meet people in your hall. First week, everyone tends to keep their doors wide open for random ‘strangers to drop in and say “Hi!”. It’s cool. It’s ok and normal. Try to meet and greet girls and guys. Don’t act weird. When I first moved in, I tried to meet everyone “Hi! I am XYZ, you live in this hall (dorm)??” Most people will smile and say “yeah/no”. Shoot some small talk; ‘where you from, what you studying etc.’. It’s ok, not the best way to meet people but at least you have balls to do it!
Talk To Your Advisor
Advisor is there to help your ass succeed. Ask her what clubs and activities are available to students. Some bigger colleges and universities will have social advisors. These guys know what’s going on around campus.
Volunteer
There are numerous of volunteer organization you should join. A LOT OF HOT CHICKS love to volunteer! There is a logical explanation to that, but who cares, right?
Fliers
Always take fliers and try to attend events. Even religious events, free concerts, hippie festivals, arts and crafts shows, etc. ANYTHING. Exposure is essential! You need as much exposure as possible. Get OUT THERE! Don’t sit in your dorm; nobody wants to be next Seung-Hu Cho. Get out! Make friends!
Join A Fucking Fraternity
YES! I said it. It’s not a “Frat” it’s a FRATERNITY! You want to get laid and become popular? It’s like joining pickup community. In a short period of time, you suddenly have 30-100 people you can relate to. Some fraternities are expensive as top-notch prostitute, but if you can’t afford one, join a smaller one; I would recommend professional fraternity, but social fraternities are good too. I don’t need to tell you how MUCH it will impact your social life. It’s just, great thing! Forget the notion of “Paying for friends”! You don’t. You pay for beer and parties and house… not your friends. The whole “paying for friends” bullshit was created by nerdy and dorky losers who couldn’t get into fraternity; you’re not one of them are you?? Haha! (shit test!)
First year: Do Not Overload yourself
That’s right. You have 4-5 years to graduate. And I don’t want to hear none of that NON-sense: “Oh I just wanna get my bachelors degree in 3 years!” No! College only comes ones in your life. Once you get into real life with real job and real world problems, you will regret that ‘accelerated 3-year program’. ENJOY IT! You’re never too old for college and fun. Take minimum load required. TRUST ME on this one. You might be capable of doing more, but you need to build yourself socially first; you need time for sarging, socializing, studying, drinking, partying, fucking, getting blow jobs, fucking some more, going out with multiple girls, did I say fucking? Anywho, don’t overload yourself with academia at first.
So I covered DO’s and DON’T’s of college life, let’s talk about actual people and how to make friends.
There are several basic guidelines in order to influence people.
Don’t trust people too much.
More they know about you, more vulnerable and weak you seem to them. Withhold very deep and personal information you don’t want people to know. Your fears and insecurities; your community membership or the fact you’re learning ‘the game’. Don’t trust people to “accept you for who you are”
Be adaptable.
But it doesn’t mean bend backwards. Just learn how to ‘not care’ for something you cannot control. If it’s interfering with your goals, cut it out. Bad friends are not your friends. If your friend, Johnny, kills your game, or pushes you in the wrong direction (read: drugs, alcohol), cut him out.
Play on people’s emotions.
This is where great story-telling skills will help you acquire larger social circle. You need to learn how to stir up emotions in people. A little agitation followed by flood of positive emotions will go long ways. Be a little bit stubborn at times, this creates emotional rollercoaster and works well, especially with female friends. Create a little bit of tension; you want to be ‘talked about’; any publicity is good publicity, well, it’s not true all the time, but you should be shooting for neutral towards positive publicity. People need to have ‘feelings’ about you.
Not All Hot Girls Are Fuckable
even hot ones. Make a point to make some HOT girl friends that you do not want to fuck. Having hot girls that want to hang out with you will raise your value ten-fold. In order to make friends with girls, turn down the game and focus on comfort building. It doesn’t matter if she is sexually attracted to you or not, who cares, you’re not trying to fuck her, are you? You should still tease her a bit, but give her more chance to talk and express herself. You need girls as friends, they will help you sarge later on. I don’t see a point of explaining this again; if it didn’t come to you now, it’ll come later.
Take active leadership among your friends.
Always know where to go, what to do, and where to get dinner. Never have “umm whatever you guys wanna do, I don’t care!” attitude. If leadership role is vacant someone will take it before you’d get a chance to blink an eye. Almost all these guidelines are based on act of leadership. Take responsibility as well.
Befriend the leader of the group.
Not just in sets, but anywhere. Every group has a leader; you should come at him with an equal attitude: He is a leader of his group and you’re leader of your group. Game recognizes game, remember that.
Learn how to mix and match friends.
Merge your social circles. If you create a mesh of linked friendships you will realize two things: a) it’s a small fucking world, b) you will be deeply rooted in your social circle.
But be careful, because you can run into problems when there are kinks within your circle. It’s bad idea to introduce your preppy friends to your goth friends. Even though you must be dynamic and you should be able to hang out with ANY kind of crowd, not all people are “dexterous” as you. Some of your best friends could be total haters. You can’t avoid inner conflict, but never put yourself in the middle of it.
Act appropriate but think on your own.
Do not try to go against the grain and form your own counter-culture. Nobody likes outcasts. There are ways to stand out in your social circle with positive aspects instead of negative ones. If your lifestyle is radically different from the one of majority, you’ll find it hard to relate to people. Such is the truth, people judge books by their covers. Tough shit.
Make your achievements seem effortless.
This is gold. Nobody needs to know that you stayed up studying for physics exam all night. Everything is easy to you. People will flock around you just to learn how to be like you. Psychologically, everyone wants ‘easy money’, ‘easy girls’, ‘easy fame’, easy you-name-it’. If you can achieve that ‘easy you-name-it’ or if it seems like you can, soon you’ll have a fan-club. You should NEVER bitch and complain about your problems. Your life is living dream. Your success comes effortlessly! You live in paradise!
Sell people dreams.
This is very big. Especially, with girls. I can really write a book talking about this! Bottom line: people want to live in a fantasy land. Have you ever met a person, whose first impression completely swiped you off your feet? It could have been that “natural PUA” or “guy with cool shit” or “guy with many hot girls around him” or whatever it was you really-really admired about him? BE THAT GUY! You want to imprint yourself in people’s minds, that one day, you might impact their lives in a VERY positive way. Create high hopes for the future. It’s amazing how much you can ‘sell’ by selling the dream first. People seek epiphanies and life-changing situation. Because, one day, someone can come into their lives and make them happy and change their lives for good!… yeah, I know.
Always be the dealer.
Think poker: what position is the best to play? The “button”, of course, because you’re the last one to bet. You know what people are betting! You can almost guess what kind of cards they have.
Give people choices that are in your favor. “Josh, we can do A or we can do B” (where both A and B are favorable to you); even though Josh might want to do C, but it wasn’t part of the choice. When given a choice, people tend to feel false sense of freedom. Most indecisive people will fall into that trap, and while this shows leadership, you’re establishing yourself as a confident person as well. Also, make people wait on you and take your time with delivering your decision. For example, when someone asks me to do something, I usually reply “John, I’ll get back to you tomorrow. I have to check few things”. Meanwhile, John lives rest of the day, night and entire day tomorrow wondering what my answer would be. The more they think about you, the more they like you. Works well, especially, with women.
Disappear for a while and re-charge yourself.
Shut your cell phone off, sign off your messenger and vanish for few days. Give your friends gift of missing you. It helps, if you left a memorable impression right before leaving. Best is to let them hang, waiting, on your decision or contact. Keep things in suspense; keep them guessing what you’re going to do next. Often, don’t answer phone, and wait till they leave voice mail. Call back, few hours later, if not-urgent matter. You’re busy guy.
Avoid The Unhappy And Unlucky.
Shit rubs off on you. Your whining ‘emo’ suicidal friends will destroy your life. Don’t hang out with people that are chronically depressed. Don’t hang out with people that get in trouble all the time. Your friends influence your decisions. That’s law of social dynamics. Don’t let rotten people influence you. You don’t have to be mean to these people, just tell them the truth “Listen, you’re so depressed and so whiney, I can’t deal with this; cheer up, if you can’t, try to find out how, meanwhile, I have a lot of work to do, sorry, buddy!” Be firm, confident and unapologetic. On the same note, never be that “depressed and whiney” person either. Again, you live in paradise, all your success is effortless, and why would you be depressed, anyway?
Make Other People Come to You.
Get your friends to pick you up, drive you places, bring you stuff, invite you to parties, give you free shit, buy you lunch, etc. And all you have to do is ask. I got into habit of asking restaurant clerks to hook me up with free shit. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. You will be amazed how difficult it is for some people to say “NO!” For example: to waitress: “Hey, could you hook me up with a (free) drink? ”. To a bouncer: “Hey, man, forgot to swing by ATM, could you hook me up with no cover?” To a friend: “Hey, come pick me up, we’ll go get some Chinese” Make people do you favors or come to you. Another good way to do create that affect is by body language. In a restaurant sit in the center of the table, in photos stand in the middle, at a bar, turn your back to the bartender, facing outside, while your friends stand there talking TO you. Never forget the magical “Hey, come for a second, please” phrase. Works 9 out of 10 times. Stand in confident stance, places where people have to say “Excuse me!” to get by; if you’re in a bar, turn to a person, smile and in high energy cheerful voice say: “sup man, having good time tonight?!”
I send out mass text messages when I go out “Hey, few friends are meeting me at XYZ, you should come up too!”. That’s DHV! I have friends coming to meet me at XYZ (cool place) and I am inviting *you* along!
