To my disappointment, Mystery Method doesn’t teach a man how to bring an abundance of women into his life. MM teaches how to approach people in a bar or nightclub. They demonstrate this live and in field. They develop DVDs and ebooks to further that knowledge from meet to sex.
But they don’t cover relationships. Or lifestyle.
Dissatisfaction
Dissatisfaction is what drives men to MM. They do not feel successful with women. They either do not have enough women in their life, or the quality is not what it could be. Approaching women in bars and nightclubs won’t fix that.
Because bars and nightclubs are the practice grounds for becoming social. The instructors focus their time and effort in these environments to maintain their skill level. It’s not the lifestyle for most people.
The forum is inundated with guys that want to fuck strippers, for example. These are 9 to 5 IT gents. That wants strippers. Is that realistic? No. A stripper doesn’t understand what an IT guy does. There’s no place for you in her world. No benefit for alignment. Her hours are opposite yours.
It can be done. But your game has to be amazingly tight. And I question what fulfilment this brings to either of you. The guy has fallen into a mindset of wanting something without considering the reality of his desire.
Dissatisfaction. A man understands his dissatisfaction with women is not a woman’s issue. It was the man’s choice to pursue a life that women do not understand. Or desire. The man did not realize the ramifications. Women were not the forefront concern.
This is not a dissatisfaction with women. It’s a dissatisfaction with your social life. Which does not include the quantity or quality of women you would prefer.
Lifestyle
How does one change their lifestyle? Tough question. No single answer. Let’s consider the nightlife angle. Assuming you work 9 to 5, go to bars and nightclubs Thur-Sat and practice talking to people. That includes girls.
Find the girls you gravitate towards. Learn what you can of their lives. But do not think of them as individuals. Think of them as trends. Looks for patterns in these girls. Their age. Where they live. Where they work. Where they hang out.
Emesh yourself in their world, and release your grip on your own. One year ago, I owned the second largest Dungeons and Dragons website in the world. Wanna guess what I DON’T OWN anymore? Gone. Done. I have systematically removed from my life my geeky pleasures. My hobbies. And anything that I feel detracted from the lifestyle I desire.
Lifestyle. Lifestyle is how you live your existence. It’s the world you find yourself in. It’s your day to day life. Living in the suburbs, playing DnD on Mondays and hitting the bar on Thursdays isn’t the lifestyle I want. I moved a few blocks from the bar. I eliminated my geeky pursuits, keeping only one. And building a grounding routine into it. I no longer seek commonalities with girls. I seek differences. They tell me their passions and their dreams. And I learn from them.
I joined a social club (running) one night a week. I joined a monthly singles networking group. I’m a fringe member of two social groups that gather on Thursdays (one for bars, one for nightclubs). I’m discussing party promotions with a few individuals.
And I am seeing women more cultured than myself. They’re introducing me to new things. I’m not sleeping with them. I’m letting them guide me to their world. So I can sleep with girls like them.
I’m no longer with my wife, btw. Separated. The lifestyle that fulfils me isn’t the life of a married man. I let it go.
Social Circle
I’ve dated five women in six weeks. None of them were a cold approach. They were social circle. How do you build a social circle? You find people you like and you hang out with them. Sounds easy. But takes time.
And it takes the social skills you built during the newbie mission. Which I, embarrassingly enough, never completed to my satisfaction. It’s the reason I push it so hard. I did my time, but I never opened the number of sets I should have. I pushed every set as hard as I could. Which means 1-2 hour long sets.
I made a lot of friends doing this. I went nonsexual for awhile, dropping comments about my wife. This was back in December and January. Every friend I have in my life today with two exceptions stems from those two months in one way or another.
The exceptions? Retail clerks. You become a regular at a retail shop. You make a friend. You run game. Qualify. DHV. Comfort. All of it. They love you. You invite them out and you see them socially every week or so.
They introduce you to their circle of friends. And your circle grows.
How do you build your social circle? You don’t. You find established circles. You befriend as much of it as you can. And you get invited to hang. No reason to build your own. Establish yourself as the cool guy in a few circles and the works done for you. You get introduced to new guys and girls every time you go out.
And cold approach becomes something you practice. Not something you require. Because the social circle are people that exist within your reality. The hot chicks in the bar aren’t in your world. They exist in their own. And unless you want to assimilate, you’re unlikely to benefit from their acquaintance.
Unless all you want is a quickie in the backseat of your 52 Chevy.
August 24th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
You mention retail clerks and similar people who can be pulled into your social circle. You say “run game” etc. and DHV and then see them regularly. But do you actually mean to lay them? That sounds contradictory to the idea of using them as pivots to enter new social circles?
But “gaming” them sounds to me like including flirting and escalation etc. - but how would that “translate” into a “social circle pivot”?