There are few people today that really KNOW me today, and of those even less that knew me growing up. People that saw me when I was a totally different person.
Friends that saw me CHANGE.
In fact there’s only three that I can name. Ermin, Mike, and Curtis. While all of them are aware of the community, not one is a community guy.
There are other guys in the community that have seen me grow and transform, one step at a time, but they weren’t there back in the day like those 3 I named off.
Anyways I got a text yesterday regarding some ‘rukus’ on a forum I’m causing by being totally honest and upfront with a guy.
The text convo hit me emotionally, pretty dead on.
Why?
Well basically the guy I’m being blunt with on this forum is coming from a similar place I was at one time in my life.
The text convo basically said that ‘that guy’ is just one of those people who will never “get it”, “never” understand certain things about himself, and that I was not one of those guys.
Why bother trying to help the guy? Why waste a few minutes of my life?
Because I don’t believe in that shit.
I was at the same place this guy was one time, like unbelievably weird/awkward. Almost completely unaware to top it off.
You know whats funny?
Back when I started rising up, back on the original Dream Lounge, people used to tell me I would ‘never’ get it. They would tell me that it’s all a lie, and people CAN’T change.
Well here’s the reality, everyone can.
That’s right, it’s true, the resources are there to become who you were meant to be, to self actualize, without a doubt.
Well here’s part two.
Most people won’t. Regarding success with women, 90% of guys just won’t ever get it.
You know what I decided when people told me all that bluntly negative bull shit?
I am not a FUCKING STATISTIC, I am something MORE.
I was ready to fight for what I wanted, for real.
People telling me it couldn’t be done only pushed me more, pushed me to the breaking point eventually, rock bottom in August of 2007. It’s pretty common human behavior to try to hold others down- I still see this today whenever I do something new and continue to ‘rise’.
You know what a really sneaky trap is though? Something that IMO is built into us to project onto others via evolution.
People telling you you’ve come farther than you have, without someone being totally honest with you.
This is far more lethal in keeping you happy and content, avoiding reality, and avoiding the NOW.
I think most guys that find this community are in a similar boat that I was in once (hey the more personal, the more universal right?)
And their path is going to follow something like mine did. Not all guys though, there are plenty of guys I know personally that will follow a different path to move closer to their potential, but this is like the majority of guys this community attracts.
First the guy has to hit the point of realizing there’s a problem, something deep inside. By realizing I mean a feeling to, most of us have ego’s far to big to let us see something like that up front early on. I know I was one.
And hence, we get into ’self improvement’. This quickly turns into ego-based learning, and tack-ons to ourselves. Things like methods/tactics/routines.
These are all cool, specifically because they lead us to the next step.
The ready to fight level. This is when you make a monumental decision. Your’s may relate to mine, or it may not. Everyone’s different.
Next is rock bottom.
This is when the ‘decision’ becomes nearly universal.
YOU WILL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK IT TAKES.
WHATEVER IT TAKES.
For me, this at first was taking out a huge student loan to buy a bootcamp way out of my price range as a college student.
When I got it I decided that wasn’t the best option at the time, and instead decided to go out every single night until I approached 3,000 sets (was at about 2,000 at that time).
Not 2 weeks in I banged a girl for the first time in over a year, one I liked on top of that (hey fatties need love too, but not from me).
This was not coincidence.
Moving on…
This is when you begin to scramble your brain.
This is when self destruction truly begins.
This is when the healing beings.
There are a few pitfalls to watch out for, and I’ll detail them this summer at the Under 21 Convention.
You eventually get to a point where you’re about to, or are going INSANE, and you KNOW IT.
You push a little more…
And then you let it all go. You see the fucking LIGHT. You may even find some of your self-esteem you lost growing up…
After that is when you pretty much start to fill in the gaps. You make it, but realize there is always room for improvment.
You begin to move on to bigger and better things…
This part is probably different for everyone, but for me, it was just starting to really ENJOY life for what it is.
Living the way I wanted, being the person I am, being AUTHENTIC, and just doing what the fuck I feel like doing.
So for anyone who gets the blunt end of my advice, take it for what it’s worth. I’ve been in your shoes, and mean the best.
Something I kind of stumbled upon in my mind yesterday thinking about this…
The 90/10 ratio for people self actualizing is a catch 22. The resources are there for everyone, but only because 90% won’t ever use them.
90% of people not utilizing what’s available makes it possible for those who want ‘it’ bad enough to pursue ‘it’.
Making the title of this post all the more important…
Are you a statistic, or something MORE?
July 29th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Great article…though I have been using all of this info for quite awhile and nothing has really worked…and I do whatever it takes and it just does not work….
August 13th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Ha! Holy shit, Dream! I remember reading your field journal on another forum. Good to see you still around, man.