Build attraction, break rapport – Adam Lyons
Wednesday
Dec 5, 2007
Working as a club promoter can put you in some pretty interesting situations – like being at a table in a club, alone with ten girls! It’s a hard life, isn’t it?
My friend John arrives with two girls – he tells me the brunette is his target, so she’s out of the picture. I’m flirting with the whole group, being the life and soul of the party, playing around and flirting with the girls. Not only is this a lot of fun, but it makes me the center of attention in the group – an attractive place to be.
I’ve spent a lot of time recently working on my ‘look’ too – so not only am I the center of attention, but I’m looking great – it all adds up, and I’m getting lots of indicators of interest from the girls around. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Tonight though, I’m not just out to party. I’m out to pick up, so it’s time to choose a target. There’s a beautiful brunette, but I find out she has to leave early (keep your eye on logistics!), so I take her number so I can follow it up later.
The one I like most is John’s girl – but she’s strictly off limits. There’s a blonde chick who’s all over me, but she’s too interested, and too drunk – both are a turn-off; I love a chase …
But first, John’s girl has wandered off to another table, where there’s a guy she likes! John’s more interested in another girl on our table, so I ask his permission, and he says ok. It’s going to be a tricky situation, but I’m not a dating coach for nothing, so I wander over and say “Hey, what you up to?”
She tells me she likes this guy, and so I say “Totally, he’s hot and you should fuck him tonight – my friend Katie picked him up in like 10 minutes last Saturday.” She looks at me a bit shocked, and I say “Hey, you’re a big girl, you understand right?”, and the damage is done – she’s lost interest in the guy. I made him too available to her, and people like a bit of a challenge.
I tell her I’ll show her something cool, and I move her over to the bar, where there’s a huge fish tank. We chill and chat for a bit, and I think to myself that it’s time to start reeling it in.
Do I have comfort with her? That is, is she comfortable being around me and chatting to me? Yes. So it’s time to break rapport.
Adam: You know what? I’m kinda a blunt person. I find life easier that way. Don’t you?
Brunette: What do you mean?
AdamLondon: Well I can’t be bothered to deal with other people’s crap. There are too many people that lie and talk rubbish and I’m not down with that. If I like a girl I tell her that, and I tell her that she looks hot. I like her and may want to have a few good meals and some great sex, but that doesn’t mean a relationship. Why would anyone want to do that? Get into a relationship with someone they have only just met.
Brunette: I know what you mean.
Guys get stuck in situations with girls where they won’t make things sexual. They’re scared that the girl will reject them, or that they’re somehow being creepy or sleazy. So they just try and be nice and friendly with the girl … and they end up just being friends with a girl who’s only ever nice to them!
By being overtly sexual, I’m breaking the comfortable friend vibe that we have. Now I’ve broken rapport, I want her to start working for me – to start qualifying herself to me.
Adam: I hate crap sex too. You’re not someone who’s bad at sex are you? [said with a friendly smile]
Brunette: No way!
AdamLondon: Hrm, girls always think they’re good in bed. What makes you special?
Brunette: I give amazing blow jobs…
Excellent! I’m asking her sexual questions that presume that she has to tell me why she’s good enough for me. What a difference that is from how most guys do it! I’m making her work for me at this point. Most guys are scared to try this – it’s a leap of faith, after all – but then that’s why most guys are going home alone…
This is going well. We had comfort, I’ve broken it, and I’ve got her qualifying to me. Do we remember what’s next? I’ve got a few options. I can go back and solidify what I’ve got so far – chat to her for a bit, build some more comfort, and then break it again. OR, I can steam forward, and move in to sexual escalation:
Adam: You know when you really tease someone and trace a line up their leg with your tongue in between their legs, while pinnning them down and rubbing their back? You know what I mean? There’s something so great about the way the female body reacts to having it’s sensitive parts touched …
Now we know from experience that girls will start to relate things you say to them, even if you’re not talking about them specifically. So as I’m saying these things, it’s starting to get her horny.
I’m only able to do this because I’ve gone through the stages so far – if you went up to a girl you’d never met before and started saying these things, you’d get slapped! Now I want to check that I’m not going too fast here, so I check that she’s comfortable with where we’re at – I lean right in and start speaking in to her ear. This is an invasion of her personal space – if she’s not comfortable with it, she’ll pull back, and I’ll know I need to take a step back. What do I whisper?
Adam: Especially when you really tease someone.
She’s comfortable with it, so I kiss her neck, pull back, and look straight in to her eyes. She giggles:
Brunette: Oh my God, haha, wow, I’m so horny
I lean back to let things calm down a little – I don’t want to get buyer’s remorse. This turns out to have not been a great idea! She says she needs the toilet, and I let her go. She comes back, and her body language has changed.
While she’s been in the toilet, away from me, she’s cooled down a bit, realised that she’s meant to be playing hard to get, and that she doesn’t want to look like a slut!
I’m Adam, so I can handle this. Back to the framework. Comfort again.
Adam: You’re cute, you know that?
Brunette: Why?
Adam: You have a cute little innocent face. It’s pretty, but it’s hiding a smile that says “Wow, I really shouldn’t have let myself get so turned on with someone I barely know in a club”
Bang! Rapport break. Are you seeing the pattern here?
Brunette: [giggles] Hahaha
AdamLondon: I was thinking the same thing, I had the same feeling, but it felt good didn’t it?
Brunette: Mmm, yeah
Now she’s qualifying herself again … it’s time to go back to sexual escalation. This stuff is easy! So I lean in, and brush her hair from her face (another little personal space invasion) and say:
Adam: It’s just i can’t help it. I love teasing people and watching them squirm. I think you’d look good rolling around arching your back as I tease you …
Brunette: Mmmm
Adam: Let’s go somewhere quieter
Brunette: Where?
Adam: My flat
Brunette: I don’t think so, I’m not going to sleep with you!
Adam: Hey, relax, we’re not going to have sex. I want to hang out with you [comfort]. Then I’m going to tease you a lot… [breaking rapport] Do you think you could handle it? [qualifier]
Brunette: Of course …
Adam: Then let’s get out of here [escalation]
It’s simple, isn’t it! She sends her friend home in a cab, and we head to mine. I build comfort on the way, play with breaking rapport, tell her she has a cute ass, and we get into the flat, start kissing, walk into the bedroom.
Game over!
Author: Posted by the Grow Your Game Editor - Travis. 
Comments
taki
January 27th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Great game! Thanks for the detailed explaination!