Stop Complicating Things
Tuesday
Mar 9, 2010
It’s funny how much men love to complicate things.
You really need to think about this for a few minutes: when you get a brand new gas grill and you’re going to put it together, do you read the directions or do you just figure it out?
When you go and buy a brand new big screen TV, do you just figure out what plugs into what or do you do it by the book?
When you go and get a brand new car, do you ever crack open the owner’s manual?
Never, right?
But then why do men think that women should come with a manual?
When you first talk to a woman, it doesn’t have to be so complicated. The obvious things are the best things because it means that you are paying attention to the little things. If you think about what past girlfriends and other women have said – it’s all about the little things. All the little things make life so much better.
If you pay attention to the little things, women will feel like you’ve actually connected with them. They’ll think, wow, this guy actually paid attention! He was actually present. He wasn’t just trying to pick me up with some type of ridiculous routine.
It’s the obvious things. You need to start thinking and picking up on everything that is obvious. If you don’t, you’re just going to be looking at a barbeque gas grill manual.
Everyone who has worked with me for a weekend always notices the same thing about me and how I function. Like John, a new client. What do you notice about my behavior?
John: What do I notice about your behavior? It seems very natural, very easy to you. And everything you say is very obvious.
But once I’m not with you, it seems like I’m reaching again for the perfect thing to say, and then I’m waiting. And finally it’s like, ugh, I’ve waited too long, now do I move ahead or just let it go?
David: Right, and that’s why repetition is important. You notice that we’re doing the same things over and over again, right? I asked John if he talked to those women in Pinkberry and he said, “no, I wasn’t attracted to them.” And I said, “I’m not attracted to 90% of the people I talk to, but I’m getting to know some great people.”
Just because I don’t want to go out with someone doesn’t mean that they’re not a great person worth talking to. It doesn’t mean that I can’t learn something from them. It doesn’t mean that I can’t meet their friends down the road – it’s all about building up that power and social network.
John: And the fact that those girls at Pinkberry were looking at that furniture book – even if we hadn’t been to that furniture store I still could have just picked up on that and said something about it.
David: Yeah, it was the obvious thing. Furniture shop, redecorating your house… think about the things that come to your mind. An exercise that I tell guys to do is to take 20 common, everyday words – like coffee, groceries, furniture, fresh fruit, gas stations, whatever – write them down and create a story about each of those words.
If you think about it, you can say something about every one of those twenty words. Every word. For gas stations, you think: gas is under $4.00 a gallon now. So then the next time you’re filling up at a gas station, you can say, “holy shit, gas dropped below $4.00 a gallon!”
Everything can be created from that story. The obvious things are the things that you already know and things you can talk about.
Furthermore, if you state the obvious, you won’t break her train of thought, and if you don’t, she’s going to wonder why the fuck you’re talking about something that’s out of left field.
So do you see the difference there? The difference is huge!
Author: For over nearly 20 years David Wygant has been earning the trust of American men and women looking to transform their love lives Learn more from David Wygant at his website. 
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