I have never done online dating. I can’t recall the last time I was set-up. And after a few retarded episodes with blind dates, I refuse to do that. All my pulls are in the flesh, and I’m aggressive. I believe it’s a lot about chemistry, and a privilege of males is that you get to choose. If you see something you like, go after it. It is caveman style, but I bet cavemen had pretty good sex lives. In fact, I’m sure they did, because we’re here. So, make like Zog and take what you are hungry for.
Women respond to a hungry man, believe me. Girls often tell me, after we’re lying in bed chatting, that it was in my eyes; that was what turned them on and made them feel pursued. They knew where things were heading.
There is no wrong place or time to make the approach. I’ve picked up girls on the street, of course, but also the subway, coffee shop, plays, weddings, buses, restaurants, etc. I’d say that 90% of my game takes place on the street because I walk a lot (also keeps me thin and fit, a must for the hustler) and that’s where the girls are. When I had a car in Boston 5 years ago, I remember thinking how I wasn’t meeting as many girls; obviously there are no girls to meet in my car! I was on the “T” less (as the subway is
called in Boston. Don’t ask.) and therefore wasn’t meeting the college girls going around town. I also wasn’t pounding the pavement.
Another point that is obvious, but guys make this mistake all the time:
Pick-up girls midweek in the middle of the day while they are walking around.
Do not attempt to hustle girls on a weekend night when you are competing with every other Dick. I have two advantages over the average guy in this regard: a) I live in New York; b) I have an unorthodox work schedule. I am sure that there are systems to get laid in LA (Hugh Hefner probably has the patent) but since that city is sprawling and requires driving, it’s a whole different game. I’m born and bred in Santa Monica, and lived there till I was 18, so I know a bit of the game. It seems cliquier to me and because of the car culture, harder
to have contact with the ladies.
Here, in NYC, they flow by like sardines in the ocean. Too bad they don’t make nets. On the second point, it helps that I take a leisurely stroll to get coffee at Starbucks on 66th and Madison every morning around 10 and that I walk to work (my day job is as a SAT tutor) in the afternoon. These are the hours all the guys are breaking their backs downtown to earn a buck so they can take some broad out on Friday and not-bone, as my friend Adam says. So it’s too easy midday on the street. Not many other players around and women (for some reason I’m not clear on) think it’s more innocent if you get their number at 1:15pm on a Tuesday on Lexington Ave., then at some bar Saturday night.
Because it’s also a common pitfall of most guys I’m going to make a point for it, but it should be somewhat obvious:
Trying to get a girls number (or worse, trying to bang her) on a Saturday night at a crowded bar is a loser’s gamble.
Little secret: the hottest ones are the easiest to fuck. Why? Because they are most confident, and don’t guard their pussy like it’s their only asset. That’s my true experience.
One revelation I experienced upon moving to New York was sheer exposure to so many single, hot women. I’ve come to realize that one way women create the illusion of scarcity is by staying at home or only getting done-up and going out on the weekend nights. For some reason, in other cities in which I’ve lived (Boston, LA, Philly) there would be one or two hotties, here or there, and we’d talk about them for 10 minutes after spotting them. Here, due to public transportation and the street, I’ve got a much better sense of the market, and I have realized that there are a lot of sexy girls for every guy (not least because our gay compatriots are out of the game. Hallelujah!)
You’re competing against every other guy, first off. The girl’s ego is ballooning, because if she’s halfway decent looking, and the guys are beer-goggling, then she’s been hit on by a platoon of fools and you know how much women like attention (turns out they’d rather have attention than sex) and if you’re in a city like New York, you have the added competition of the city itself. By that I mean the myriad things she’d rather do then go to your place and suck your cock.
No matter how suave, clever, funny or good-looking you are, I’m here to tell you that you’ll look rather dull next to New York Fucking City going off on a Saturday night. So be prepared for a long and tedious battle if you’re trying to get her to your place on a Saturday night; more than likely she’ll only lose interest in the night when she starts to tire, at which point working on you isn’t her focus. She’s ready for sleep.
Weeknights are different. As I mentioned, women are creatures who need
attention and they are getting less of it during the week; it’s often said that women cheat as a result of an inattentive husband, whereas men cheat because we can’t control our hormones and libido. So, the obvious play here is:
Meet girls one-on-one during the week, when there’s likely to be a lull in even the most popular girl’s social calendar.
Nothing is more welcome than a phone call or text message from you when she’s getting nothing from friends, family or other guys, and she’s sitting at home feeling lonely and unwanted. I’ve found that girls I can’t even get to have a 5 minute conversation on a Saturday night will come all the way uptown to have a drink with a guy they barely know if it’s a quiet Tuesday night. Play the cycle of the week to your advantage. Get the numbers during the day and during the week, and arrange the meeting during a weeknight when you will get a women’s full, undivided attention.
Another note about weekends: keep those for your men. Having lived in the city for a few years now, and arriving at an age – 30 – when I’m starting to know what I like and what I don’t, and choosing the former, I’ve come to appreciate the value of exclusive time with my men. My schedule is drinks with girls Sunday night through Wednesday, and often Friday as well because it’s an early night because I work at 8:30 on Saturday morning. Thursdays, perhaps the best night of the week to go out, I usually go “window shopping” with a buddy, a wingman. We usually go out to check out the hot scenes and look at the girlies all done-up. We may meet a couple girls, even get digits or get laid, but the bulk of my work is not accomplished here. Saturday’s are reserved for dinner with the boys. I don’t see them all week because everyone works hard in this city, and I enjoy nothing better than grabbing a big meal and relaxing with a good friend or two, perhaps having a stogie afterwards. We may or may not go chasing after dinner, but we’re all cognizant that Saturday is the hardest pull, for the reasons mentioned above.
My advice is to keep one weekend night free to eat with your boys: they’ll keep you sane and stave off loneliness, plus it’s the ideal time to recount stories of the week just passed. So we’ve talked about the when and the where’s of meeting the girls – midweek daytime, in a non-pick-up environment – but what exactly do you do when you see that foxy, confident, almost bitchy women sauntering down the street towards you?
