Grow Your Game

Keep in mind that like all people girls, especially hot ones, are moody.  You need the contact information of course, otherwise you can’t pursue her.  However, you don’t need to do anything charming, memorable or “cute” when you first meet her.  The only purpose is to get the digits so you can contact her later.  After that, keep moving.  You have nothing to say to her, anyhow; you’ll just fuck it up.  I’ve found many a reluctant girl is only too happy to see me midweek for a drink.  Remember, their moods will change, dramatically, and often.

So what do you say to these fickle, sensitive beasts?  It doesn’t really matter.  It’s more the timing and body language.  I’ve found that the quick move works best. Walking by a girl, or past a table where she’s eating, whatever, I usually try to make eye contact, and if she notices me, I acknowledge by saying, “I want to say ‘hi’ because I noticed we made eye contact, and this is New York and if you don’t take advantage of moments like these they tend to just pass, blah, blah, etc.”

Or, if there’s no eye contact I stop them and say my standard, “I think you’re cute, but I’m in a rush and late for a meeting.  How ‘bout you give me your number and we’ll grab a drink around here some night.”  That usually works, or at least gets them interested.  The yes/maybe girls will perk up: they know you find them attractive, appreciate that you are confident enough to tell them so in a polite way, and you have a plan – the drink.  That’s all that needs to happen on the initial meeting.  Ideally, you should see her, engage, talk for 45 seconds while you’re entering her digits, and then smile (or wink, if you’re good at it) and rush off to your “meeting”. Don’t run.

If you’re in some situation where you can’t leave immediately, like sitting next to a woman on the subway, etc., wait until you have about 1 minute left with her before striking up conversation.  There’s nothing more awkward than silence between two strangers after they’ve said hello, and even Shakespeare couldn’t be charming for more than a couple of minutes off the bat, so have a planned exit.  In the subway example, get off and switch cars, if you have to.

The less than one-minute engagement works for a number of reasons.  First off all, it prevents the guy from doing anything stupid or awkward, or revealing too much.  A nervous guy can torpedo a promising situation by talking too much and turning the girl off, or freaking her out, perhaps by mentioning he lives at home with his folks, or something like that.  The less talking you do, the better. Women, as well as men, like the fantasy or “romance” of meeting “that guy”, and since almost no guy is ever going to live-up to some bullshit Prince Charming archetype (who wants to, anyhow) at least prolong the fantasy for your benefit.

This leads to the second reason the one-minute engagement works: it maintains the intrigue.  “Who was that dashing stranger I just met in the rain?” she thinks as you walk off with your raincoat trailing and your umbrella extended.  As they are reeling from the encounter, trying to process what just happened and remember the fine details of what you said, and how you looked, and just how you stood, you’re already gone, not there to fuck it up.  They’re hooked.  Their mind is already working on you.

Author:  Posted by the Grow Your Game Editor - Travis.

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