Technology is a wonderful thing. We can get the number and so easily put it into our cell phone, often with one-hand, looking cool while we do so. I tried the pick-up game a bit when I first got to NYC without a cell phone. Take it from me, it’s a bit tough. Not only is it burdensome to write numbers down, but also sketchy and a big red flag to girls that you’re broke, don’t have a job, don’t have credit, etc. Somehow get hold of a phone, it’s the key tool of the trade.
So you have a phone, but how do you use it? When I first started hustling, midway through college (up to that point I had girlfriends, like everyone else…) I used to get worked-up about the initial call, and would get nervous, with butterflies. Inevitably the call was awkward, I said stuff I wasn’t overjoyed I had said, and the relationship wasn’t necessarily moving in the direction of me having sex with the caller on the other end. That was 10 years ago, and things have changed, especially with technology.
It is the era of the text message, and men all over the world should be thanking their lucky stars. Not only is this the most effective way to control the conversation and avoid missteps, but you can now reach a larger audience. As my friend Nathan says, “Text messaging has got to be the worst thing that has happened to women in a long time.” It removes that old filter that used to prevent all types of guys from getting laid, something we call “Women’s Intuition”. You know what I’m talking about. You leave a pleasant voicemail on some chic’s phone after meeting her, but you ramble a bit and the tone of your voice becomes increasingly less confident and unsure of itself. You hang up, dissatisfied with the call. It’s the Swingers dilemma – do you call back, etc. (Never call back, by the way). She senses your nervousness, gets turned off, and deletes your number.
Luck favors the laconic. Until you’ve had sex with a woman, it’s my experience that less talking is better. Women tend to be better talkers and can intuit a tremendous amount from some guy who is yapping his gums off. Keep things unspoken, or refuse to divulge stuff; above all, keep it playful, flirty and mildly combative. The French have a word for it – badinage – which means playful, verbal banter.
So keep it light and frothy. But hold on. I want to talk about first contact, before you meet for a drink. You can always call to say hi and schedule the drink at your spot. That’s standard. For that, I recommend midday, when you’re at work, real quick “can’t-talk-now-but-want-to-see-you-soon” call. Calling during the busy business day prevents you from talking too much and revealing something that will make her suspicious or disqualify you completely.
It turns out that at lot of the game is avoiding pitfalls. In fact, I think women, in general, want us to make love to them, but guys inevitably screw it up. I’m sure you’ve heard, or are aware, that a woman will decide in the first 5 minutes if she’s going to sleep with you, and then it’s up to you to stay the course or fuck it up in any number of ways.
The best thing for us men, I’ve found, is to stick to a script and veer off infrequently. I’ve tried almost everything in the book, here in this dating laboratory we call New York, and I’m codifying what works, and what doesn’t. Disregard this advice at your peril.
So, you’re sitting there Tuesday afternoon with a few numbers in the pipeline and maybe you’ve left a few short, not too sweet, voicemails, about “hey, let’s grab a drink – does Wednesday night work?” That’s a good start. But here’s where leverage really comes into play.
To eliminate the wavering voice, her intuition and the fact that you don’t have a deep, husky voice from the equation altogether, use a text message. This seems obvious, but it works wonders. Not only do you have time to compose your message calmly, but women love to read and write. Getting little messages via phone gets them excited in the way a little girl gets excited about a letter from Daddy when he’s away. There is something more fun or romantic, and mysterious about texting, I don’t know. Plus you can make outrageous propositions that you could never deliver with aplomb over the phone, much less in person.
I often send a text to a girl I just met who doesn’t have my number. She invariably answers, “Who’s this?” and I explain and ask when we’re going to have a drink, etc. By the way, if you get into this, buy an unlimited text messaging package ‘cause the shit gets pricey, especially when executing the following.
So here’s where leverage (as my finance buddies like to say) comes in: group messaging. I was saying earlier how it’s a market, and it is. Well, any Wall Street trader will talk to you about testing the market to see what’s out there – what the appetite is on a particular stock. Same thing with girls. Who knows how the bitchy, disinterested French girl you met last Friday afternoon on Madison Ave. is feeling today, Tuesday, at 3pm? Is she depressed, lonely, feeling ugly, unappreciated, far from family, etc. Perfect time for you to drop in with an SMS.
Here’s what I do. I am usually sitting at my desk, doing a bit of tutoring and it’s early afternoon, nothing going on tonight. My phone allows me to send bulk messages to up to 20 recipients so I go through the phone book and “Add” the first 20 number to my message. Then I compose a brief message, something like: “What’s up for tonight?” or “Any news in your life?” or “What are you doing?” or, my personal favorite because of its economy: “Tonight?”
I do this until my current pipeline is exhausted; recently that was at least 4 batches for about 80 girls, and then, with my phone on silent so as not to disturb others, I set it on my desk. The response is usually overwhelming. I can only keep 30 messages in my inbox, so there is a lot of “Delete All” and then continued correspondence.
The point is that you can blanket a lot of women, and make demanding, last minute offers (ex. meet me tonight, 10pm at this lounge, in my hood, etc.) and see what the market thinks. You’ll be surprised what a woman will do to avoid sitting at home alone watching “Sex in the City” reruns and eating a tub of ice cream. Just like a market, you’ll get a huge initial response, and then others will trickle in over the hours as latecomers get the message. There’s nothing better to get a women interested than to tell her you can’t make it anymore, that the offer’s off the table. Do it nicely, though.
