I’ve been teaching men how to become more successful with dating women for a several years now… and one major issue just keeps popping up OVER AND OVER AGAIN…
…and it’s really astounds me!
I’m going to name it “The Genius Failure Paradox”.
“The Genius Failure Paradox” is the tendency for abnormally intelligent men to have astonishingly little success with women and dating.
After contemplating this paradox, discussing it and working on it for a breathtaking amount of time, I’d finally like to share my thoughts with you.
If you’ve read this far, I’m assuming you probably see yourself as a little bit smarter than the average man.
You KNOW you’re a little different from other men.
In fact, you probably realized at a young age that you saw everything differently from other kids.
And you’ve probably realized at some point, that your smart mind gives you an advantage over others in many aspects of your life… as such, you’ve probably become used to BEING RIGHT.
Smart people get into the habit of being “right”, simply because they usually ARE right.
And unsurprisingly, when you’re RIGHT more often than others, you can actually get ahead in many situations.
But unfortunately this sharp mind of yours is probably worse than useless when it comes to a crucial area of life, one that most men will never get right:
WOMEN AND DATING.
Just out of interest, I did say WORSE than useless.
It’s actually like having a hammer, but you need to tighten a screw. If you use the tool you have for that particular job, you’ll just make the situation WORSE.
It’s hard for a smart guy to imagine a situation where his smart mind could DAMAGE his chances for success.
But trust me: this IS such a situation.
So open up your smart mind, and let me share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail with women… and what you can do about it.
REASON #1: THEY’RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN’T OR WON’T SEE AND ADMIT IT
I mentioned that smart guys are used to being RIGHT most of the time.
And most smart guys, when they come across a situation where they’re WRONG, just find a new situation… one that fits their strength.
They know they won’t be wrong next time, so they just walk away, assuming that it won’t be long before they find they’re right again.
(OR, they just let the “problem situation” destroy them… but more on that later.)
Well, the pain in the ass about being WRONG when it comes to women and dating is THERE’S NOWHERE TO HIDE.
There’s no quick fix or “I’m right” situation around the next corner that’s gonna make you feel better.
It only takes being “wrong” with a few women in a row, for a smart man to see the pattern… and realize that something JUST ISN’T WORKING.
The solution? Think harder.
A smart guy just assumes that his logic MUST be “right”… so he just keeps on thinking harder and harder about it.
But success doesn’t happen, it really starts to become a burden.
Accepting that you’re just wrong is an extremely difficult thing for a “smart guy”.
Accepting that not only are you wrong, but you have NO CLUE WHERE TO START in order to be RIGHT, is even more tricky.
As such, many extremely smart guys come up with the following LOGICAL conclusion, which they assume must be right:
I AM A SMART GUY, SO IF I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO HAVE SUCCESS WITH WOMEN, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST EITHER BE UNSOLVABLE OR NOT WORTH SOLVING.
Can you say “Self-defeating idea”?
REASON #2: THEY’RE ARROGANT AND BLIND
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a genuine, solid, workable answer could come from someone “less intelligent” than them, so they discount any such idea before trying it.
Let me ask you this:
If you were going to be walking across Africa, through the desert, would you rather have your guide be the guy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or an early caveman who lived a million years ago, who had an I.Q. of about 10, but who grew up being chased by lions and foraging for food?
It’s a very interesting question.
Now, I hope you’d like to have the guide who isn’t the smartest guy around… but who has escaped from many dangerous situations with deadly animals and fended for themselves in the wild…
If you’d like to learn how to be more successful with women, would you take dating advice from a world-renowned professor of nuclear physics, or a guy who perhaps isn’t very intelligent, but who knows how to attract women?
There’s something about being smart that makes some men unwilling to accept ideas or instruction from anyone who isn’t either as smart or smarter than them.
Well, surely any SMART GUY could see the lunacy in this particular approach… once it’s examined closely.
If you’ve been making this particular mistake, then you need to stop it soon. Swallow your pride, deflate your ego. Stop being arrogant, and open your eyes.
Look around.
Take lessons from a few “dumb” guys… and they will teach you how to get what you REALLY want.
REASON #3: LACKING SOCIAL SKILLS
It really amazes me just how many “smart” guys there are who just don’t understand basic social skills.
It’s as if they have logically decided that social skills are made for lower beings that need to always be playing games with each other… and that it’s not worth the time it would take learning them.
I honestly believe that there are a lot of smart guys on this planet who don’t even have ANY “social skills” or have “being a cool guy that people like” in their “MENTAL MODEL” of what they might possibly need in order to be successful with women.
Social skills are just as described: SKILLS.
They aren’t social INFORMATION.
They aren’t social THEORIES.
They are social SKILLS.
And as such, you don’t get them by THINKING about getting them. You don’t learn them logically, like mathematics. You get them by GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the ESSENTIAL foundation for basic healthy communication with other human beings - if you don’t have good social skills, you are dramatically lowering your chances for success with dating women.
REASON #4: THEY SABOTAGE THEMSELVES
Smart men do something that intrigues the hell out of me…
They come up with all the myriad reasons why things WON’T WORK when it comes to the opposite sex.
They actually figure out for themselves, before even trying, why what they would like to do will probably fail or backfire…
They use their powerful creative imaginations to think up all kinds of terrifying scenes… and then they use those imaginary outcomes to form negative emotions… which ultimately stop them from having the success with women they desire.
THEY DON’T EVEN BOTHER TRYING.
Of course, if you have thought something through, and have come up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes sense to not do it, right?
I mean, why would you want to do something that you know is going to fail?
It’s sound logical, but let’s face it, it’s incredibly destructive thinking when it comes to real life… and success with women and dating.
Because smart guys don’t GET IT with women, and they don’t GET IT with what it takes to be successful with women, they are working with bad figures: in fact they’re wrong even before they even start figuring!
Using your brain to think up all the reasons why things will fail in this area of your life will lead to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You must learn to overcome this bad habit, if you have it.
REASON #5: THEY ONLY SEEK “INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS”
What does a smart guy do when he runs into a problem… or he needs to figure something out?
He immediately searches for INFORMATION to help him find a solution.
MORE INFORMATION is always his answer.
Information is the friend of a smart guy.
Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on the internet and search for how to eliminate it.
Don’t know how to change the blinker on your car? No problem: just dig out the manual and turn to page 146.
Looking for the definition of a word you don’t recognise? No problem! Open up your dictionary.
MORE INFORMATION always solves the problem.
So what do smart guys logically do when it comes to overcoming problems with women?
They seek out more INFORMATION.
They assume the answer lies in learning MORE TECHNIQUES, more MAGIC CONCEPTS that will fix the solution, like the blinker of their car.
But what if there was a situation in the smart guy’s life where getting more information actually made things WORSE?
I mean, how would you even work out that it was indeed making things worse?
I don’t want to suggest whatsoever that learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. It’s genuinely not.
But if you’ve got a problem that’s EMOTIONAL in nature, then reading five thousand theories on it probably won’t help you much.
You will need to get out into the REAL WORLD and try some stuff, and see how it works!
When it comes to women and dating, there’s a very good chance that you have MORE than enough “information” in that head of yours.
Smart guys often use all the “more information” they seek out, to distract them from actually TAKING ACTION.
I refer to this as “Creative Avoidance”.
Nod silently to yourself if you’ve ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something that causes you stress or anxiety in your life.
REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC AND REASON, INSTEAD OF EMOTION
NEWSFLASH: Women don’t feel basic level ATTRACTION for men who make them THINK about stuff.
They feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL something.
So what do most smart guys attempt to do when they first meet a woman they find attractive?
You got it!
They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION with her, in an attempt to WOO her with the sheer power of their mind.
Of course they don’t realize that they’re SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!
A monkey sitting at a typewriter will type the collected works of Shakespeare before you will make an attractive single woman feel ATTRACTION for you by engaging her in logical intelligent conversation.
Every time you start a logical conversation with a woman you’ve just met, you are basically wearing a big sign on your head that flashes “I DON’T GET WOMEN”.
Typical “logical” conversations include talking about politics, religion, work, family and jobs… and anything that has to do with mathematics, science, etc.
On the other hand, if you start talking to a woman and you ask her “OK, tell me, why is it that all girls say that they want sweet, reliable, nice guys… but they date macho, selfish bad boys?” (and if you then find a way to make fun of any answer she gives) well guess what? You’re having an EMOTIONAL conversation. You’re engaging her on an EMOTIONAL level.
If you don’t get what I’m talking about, I suggest you keep reading. You may need more help than I thought.
REASON #7: THEY AREN’T USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF THE “MOMENT”
Smart people usually have enough time to think about things… if you’re taking a test, you can spend time working out the answers.
If you have a math problem, you can keep working through it until you’ve figured it out.
If you’re trying to fix something, you can just keep working and working at it, until it’s fixed.
Smart guys are used to being able to take time, at least a little bit, to prepare their answers or solutions, in order to show off their “good sides” in most situations.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t work with women - if you don’t know what to do at each step along the way, you’re going to crash and burn very quickly.
Women have an ASTOUNDING “He just doesn’t get it” radar.
Oh yes, they have all KINDS of ingenious, subtle tests that they throw at men to separate the men who “get it” from the men who don’t.
And believe me, I know from experience that if you don’t get it, then you are going to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
But the worst part is that you won’t ever actually KNOW that you were being tested… or even that you FAILED.
Smart guys aren’t used to dealing with complex EMOTIONAL challenges that women throw out in the moment.
One of the keys to becoming more successful with women is learning how to deal with all of the tests that women are able to throw at you effortlessly.
But before you can learn how to deal with those tests, you must first understand how to communicate on an EMOTIONAL level, how to demonstrate that you have strong social skills and how to keep your cool in the moment.
REASON #8: THEY THINK DOING “NICE” THINGS IS THE “SMART WAY”
OK, let me ask you a question:
If I said to you that you were going to have a date with a supermodel of your choice, which of the following would you choose as the “smart” way of preparing for it:
1) Find out her favorite type of flowers, and show up with a bunch of them to “wow” her.
2) Learn about her favorite holiday destination so you could discuss it with her over dinner.
3) Find out her favorite type of food so you could take her to dinner for that particular type… so that she could see that you cared enough to choose something she would enjoy.
OK, time’s up. Which did you choose?
The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.
But WHY, you ask?
These three options all seemed logical, right? You want to show her you’re nicer than all the other guys?
Why WOULDN’T you show up with her favorite flowers?
Why WOULDN’T you talk about her favorite travel destinations?
Why WOULDN’T you take her to eat her favorite food so she enjoyed herself?
Work with me here…
Smart guys think they’re CLEVER buying a woman her favourite flowers… and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.
Their minds are going: “I’m going to be the thoughtful guy who made the effort, and I’m going to show up with flowers that I KNOW she will love… she’s going to see them and like me more because of it”.
Makes sense… right?
Well the one very tiny little mistake that these “smart” guys are making, is not realizing the crucial fact that it DOESN’T actually take a smart person to do this!
In fact, ANY loser can work out for himself how to KISS A GIRL’S ASS.
And you know what?
WOMEN KNOW!
And you know what else?
EVERY LOW-STATUS MAN DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will assume he’s being a genuine charmer by using this “thoughtful” approach to dating…
…and the woman he is chasing will almost certainly interpret it as just another low-status needy man who’s trying to MANIPULATE her into liking him.
Ouch. Looks like another blow to “smart guys”.
MISTAKE #9: ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE RIGHT
Have you ever met a “smart” guy who always needed to be the “expert”?
Have you ever met someone who was so “smart” that they would actually argue with you about something they knew absolutely nothing about… and make a complete fool of themselves because they just couldn’t shut their “smart mouths”?
Over the years helping men improve their success with women ad dating, I’ve seen this one pattern over and over and over again…
Smart men can’t stand being “beginners” at ANYTHING whatsoever.
They hate the idea of screwing up… especially if there are others watching.
They always want to maintain a “smart guy” image of themselves - so they try to always be an “expert” at whatever they undertake.
Instead of saying “You know what, I’m a beginner at this - how do I do it? What next?”… and instead of being cool with screwing up a couple times, making mistakes and even making a fool of themselves in front of others, in order to LEARN something…
…they won’t risk failure, or the potential embarrassment of others thinking that they’re a beginner… so ultimately, they end up just FAILING.
NEWSFLASH: It’s actually OK to be a beginner. It’s healthy.
MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN’T HANDLE FEAR AND OTHER STRONG EMOTIONS
A “smart” man’s STRENGTH is his MIND.
But his WEAKNESS is usually his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are usually IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
And because many smart men aren’t comfortable dealing with things they aren’t good at… they either repress or run away from their fears and emotions.
It’s a sad fact that many men would rather die sad and alone than admit that they simply don’t know how to deal with their emotions… or – heavens no! – ask for help!
Hey, I wasted YEARS being like this - I know what it’s like.
But the REALITY is that any man can learn to take control of his emotions - even his fear - if he just puts in the TIME and EFFORT to learn how to do it.
If this is you, then I urge you to do yourself a big favour. Put in the time. Put in the effort.
Stop worrying about what other people think of you… because it doesn’t matter.
What matters is that YOU do the things that YOU need to do for YOU.
I think the reason I’m so intrigued by “The Genius Failure Paradox” is because I too have had to struggle with these issues for most of my life.
I’m not saying I’m the smartest guy on the planet…
But I don’t think I’m below average intelligence either.
And it always tormented me that, even though I was so damn good at figuring things out for myself, I couldn’t figure out the opposite sex.
Why do I get the feeling you know what I’m talking about?
Well, after smashing my head against a brick wall for a few years, attempting all kinds of crazy “logical” stuff to solve the problem I finally got the “bright” idea to start STUDYING men who were “naturally” good with girls.
I found out that you could be BELOW average intelligence but also VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN simultaneously.
I also discovered, to my surprise, that you can be SMART and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN as well.
By closely studying how the “naturals” behaved with women, I began to realize that success with women and dating wasn’t always LOGICAL.
Many of the things I learnt were extremely tough for me to accept… because my LOGICAL “smart guy” brain just didn’t want to acknowledge it.
One thing I saw and found hard to accept, was guys PUSHING women away from them… and actually having the women CHASE them in response.
It just made no sense to me at all!
I saw men tease stunningly beautiful women and make jokes about them, right to their faces… and then watched those women turn into “little girls” in response, like putty in their hands… unable to maintain their composure, and thus unable to maintain their manipulative power over the men…
It took me a long time, but I continued to study, test, and refine what I saw, until I figured out for myself how to approach women in any situation… get any woman’s number, anytime, anyplace… date the type of women I’d always dreamed about…
…and most importantly, I learnt how to GET RID of that “empty” feeling that I carried around with me my whole life, because I didn’t know how to ATTRACT women.
And once I’d got together this area of my own life, I decided to make the information available, and help other men get this area of THEIR lives together.
The ultimate result of all this studying, all the time, effort and energy, is my free Dating Tips Newsletter.
And I’d like to personally invite you all to sign up.
It’s free, there’s absolutely no obligation – and I’ll never share your email address with anybody else. You can easily remove yourself ANYTIME with no hassle (and I’ll never pull any of the tricks where I send you a bunch of junk mail when you try to unsubscribe).
Of course, it does get even better than that.
In addition to my absolutely free Dating Tips newsletter, I also have a downloadable eBook that you can be reading in literally MINUTES from now.
It’s PACKED full of hundreds of specific strategies and examples of how to overcome your fears, approach women, get phone numbers quickly, great inexpensive or even free date ideas, and how to take things to a “physical” level smoothly and easily.
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And I’ll be speaking to you again real soon.
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo
