This is a technique I use whenever I’m trying to get a girl to give me something. It’s useful, as when you’re pushing for a meet, it can sometimes subcommunicate lower value, and build uncomfortable pressure. To solve this problem we use Distractors when you’re pushing to get something from a girl, particularly in phone game and SMS game.
Let’s say your goal is to get her to come out with you. Your average guy will say:
“Hey let’s go out”
“We should hang out”
“Come with me to X”
That’s all fine, except that you need to add a distractor afterwards. This is because no girl wants to say “yes” without adding more to the sentence because it can make her feel uncomfortable (bad comfort game), stop the natural vibe, and put her on the spot to come back with an interesting reply. So instead we want to add something like:
“Hey let’s go out, but you gotta buy me a present, I’m high maintenance”
“We should hang out; I’m busy, so you better have good chat ready”
“Come with me to X, just so you know if you’re friends with me you have to love white wine, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to hang out”
So this takes the pressure off her saying yes, and she can even deny the distractor, and still say “oh no I’m not buying you a present, I’m broke”; she’s pulling back a bit, while stilling agreeing to the real request.
It’s the same way when you say something like “I like you”, it can make a girl uncomfortable, but if you add a release like “too bad you’re such a dork” to it, it becomes easier for her to respond because it’s not so serious or heavy. Remember, we want to stay away from heavy vibes and be playful.
August 15th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
See, but that’s the problem. Did she agree to the request? If you say
something like your wine example and she says she doesn’t like wine,
then what’s your next move? Is she declining the wine or declining the
invitation in a ‘nice way’. Girls don’t like to be rude on purpose,
they always trying to find ‘outs’ while keeping face.
This also goes against the notion of being the man and making
decisions. If you say “do you want to go out?” shes say “i dunno” or
“maybe”. But if you just directly say “when do you want to go out” or
“give me your number i’m taking you out”, she has to say yes or no
directly and there is no tip toeing around it.
August 18th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Pure Gold!
I never used to like TXT game because it was too hard to make her commit to anything since it’s not face to face. Now I realize it’s because the commitment is usually too big. Give her the opportunit y to back down a little while still saying yes to the general idea ist awesome!