Isolating a girl is a crucial way point in picking up a girl in a bar. Guys who come to me and tell me they’re advanced, but then miss this out, and can’t see where they’re going wrong.
Why Isolating is Crucial
The purpose of approaching a girl is to build an emotional connection with her. It’s not about building lots of attraction, or impressing your friends, or getting some weird validation kick from getting her to tell you how special you are. It’s about building a connection so she’ll want to see you again, or about taking her home that night.
Since we like to suggest that you approach groups in night clubs, building an emotional connection is made harder. Why’s it harder to build an emotional connection with a girl in front of her friends?
1. She probably acts differently around her friends than when she’s alone
2. She doesn’t want to look too easy in front of her friends
3. She’ll have to divide her attention between you and her friends
4. It looks cheesy to open yourself up in the same way and say the same things as you can and should to build a connection in front of a group
If that’s not reason enough to get you wanting to isolating, realise that it’s also about getting her to comply with you. Once you’ve attracted her enough that she wants to be alone with you, you know she’s attracted enough to start qualifying and building comfort with.
When to Isolate
You want to isolate as soon as possible. If you isolate too quickly though, it might weird her friends out a little, and you may get more interrupts. If you want to play it safe, befriend the group she’s with before isolating her.
Like any form of escalation though, the important thing here is to PULL THE TRIGGER and just do it! When you’ve got a fair amount of attraction, and got her to start qualifying herself, go for it! There’s no real optimal point, and there are no prizes for perfect timing. Try isolating early and often… if you have the faith that it’ll work, it normally will!
Mini Isolations
Mini isolations are when you stay in the group with your target, but turned towards each other, or a few steps away. This way, you guys have your own private bubble, without spooking the rest of the group, and without you needing to get her to leave her friends.
This is mostly easily done with a wing who’ll occupy the obstacles, but if you can’t, just start talking quietly to the target. The other members of the group will normally start talking amongst themselves. Take a small step out of the group so your target faces you, and you’re in!
It’s not as effective as full isolation, but I tend to use it for the last little bit before full isolation to get the connection I need to go for the full isolation, and to start amping up the touching.
Full Isolation
This is what you’re aiming for - the two of you away from the group, preferably in a quiet area where you can really connect. It’s easier than you think. Some techniques I use:
1. “Hey, I’m going to show you something cool, but we need to sit down”, and then take her by the hand and lead her to somewhere to sit. Don’t hesitate!
2. “Man, the coolest thing happened to me the other day. I’ll tell you all about it, but it’s a bit too loud here, let’s go somewhere a bit quieter”
3. “I need a drink - come keep me company at the bar”
4. “I want to dance, but I’m not sure if you’re going to be a great dancer. You are? Well let’s go then!” - I’ll dance a bit, amp up the touching, then move her to somewhere quiet
Once Isolated
The first thing I’ll do when isolated is to tell them a story, play a game, or start running comfort. I recommend having a piece to quick it off with planned, but it’s no big deal. If you have a complete brain freeze, just start asking her questions about herself until you think of something better…
Next step? Get her ready for the kiss…
