Everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame, but you’ll notice that some people get insecure when others are in the spotlight.
A guy who’s secure will recognize when it’s someone else’s turn to hold court, and not fight that. When they talk their contribution will add emphasis to a point, not dispute the person who’s talking. He knows he’ll have his chance later, and that right now, someone else is trying to get a point across.
Guys who are insecure will often try and dispute points if they see an opening - they can’t resist the opportunity to try and show off and demonstrate their value. They just CANNOT RESIST the temptation.
Internet forums provide a simple example of this that most people will notice. Something good gets posted, and the insecure guys will split hairs over semantics: “While this is important, it’s only 8/10 on the importance level, not a 10/10 like you initially suggested”.
Maybe you know someone who always has a slightly better story? Or someone who always feels the need to follow one of your stories with their own? If you ask them about it, they’ll say they’re just trying to relate to what you’re talking about, but it’s jarring, and it breaks the social vibe. Why? Because it’s an expression of their insecurity, and often, they don’t consciously even recognise that they’re doing it!
It’s like when guys try to come off as authoritative. Somebody says something of importance, and someone else has to try and qualify that - “it’s good - thanks for finally saying something worthwhile”. He feels insecure that someone else is adding value, especially if he’s set himself up in front of other people as a competitor to that person - maybe by dissing him previously. Needless to say, it never works.
Maybe you’ve done a great presentation at work or school, and some insecure guy comes up to criticise. They don’t realise it’s YOUR TURN to hold court. Their turn is later. So they throw in little negative comments … they always have to give you some advice on how it could have been improved, rather than acting like someone secure: just saying “Good job man”.
