Getting over your approach anxiety
Tuesday
Dec 11, 2007
Some people find approaching a girl they’re really attracted to pretty scary – almost everyone can relate to a fear of rejection. But this fear only manifests if you start giving value to the person you approach, and give them the power to reject you. Let’s take an example:
Say you’re talking to a stranger who you’re not attracted to. Would you care if they rejected you? Perhaps you’ll respond to it a little, but not on the scale that you will if it’s someone you’re attracted to a lot – we don’t value their opinion so much.
The difference in how you feel is created by you – it’s you who’s giving them the power to reject you. Not only does this create a sense of fear in you, but it also means you subcommunicate things that make them less attracted to you – you give away all your power. People attach value to the things they have to work for, after all – if they can get you without any effort, you’ll be much less attractive.
How can we change the way you think about this?
By asking good questions.
If you were with a girl who was beautiful, but treated you and the people you care about badly, would you want them? What if they had poor personal hygiene, or a cruel streak? You don’t know enough about someone you’ve not spoken to yet to know if they really are someone you want to be with – so instead go in asking yourself: “What would this girl have to have for me to want to be with her?”
Change your attitude: start speaking to people not to get their number, not to get a date, but for the experience of meeting a new person, and finding out if they meet your standards. This subtle shift in the way that you think will be communicated to them, and you’ll stop giving away your power!
Author: Posted by the Grow Your Game Editor - Travis. 
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