Grow Your Game

NOTE: I’m not getting ONE RED CENT out of anything I’m about to say in this post. This is my experience and I wanted to share it.

This is my review of my live training experience of this past weekend. The training was with an upcoming dating coach named Magic.

Magic runs Attraction Methods has written a guide called Social Mastery and holds dating live infield training all over the world for men, but specifically in New York City and Los Angeles unless he goes to their home city for personal coaching.

His name sounds corny… I know. 

But, he’s actually a cool, rockstar looking Indian guy that you would have no problem having in your social circle (HINT: normal).

The tools and teaching techniques he has are POWERFUL.

Many of you guys know that it’s been taking me a LONG time to get to a good place with dating and women.

I know you FEEL me on that.

Well, I thought I was making lots of great progress by learning mindsets, cocky and funny, routines, and lots of other PUA tactics.

My progress came crashing down WITHIN 10 minutes after meeting Magic and him explaining why most PUA tactics are simply marketing myths and don’t work for getting women in BED.

That includes all these seduction community fundamentals we just take for granted… like “bitch shields”, LMR, negs, and loads of others.

My game has CHANGED.

Here’s how it went down this past weekend…

Magic took me out on the first night of our bootcamp to get a basic reading of how I was coming across to women and what level I was at. (So he didn’t waste time teaching me stuff I already had handled). He went into a set and specifically showed me how to start touching women to get them sexually attracted to you FAST.

These women MELTED when Magic interacted with them.

It was absurd how easily they fell into his presence, but from an casual observer just looked like a NORMAL conversation between people – but with lots of underlying flirting and sexual energy that might go unnoticed by the untrained eye.

Then, after he got in cozy with these women, he left them and came back to me (a good sign for a coach that he’s willing to ditch girls and actually FOCUS on me). I approached a few groups of women and interacted with them for awhile, Magic came in and instructed me that I wasn’t touching women in the right way fast enough.

Magic said that by NOT touching women early on I was making my conversation, and the attempted flirting I was doing irrelevant and weird.

In my first set, I was easily able to hold an engaging, charismatic conversation with three blondes that worked in the makeup industry around Hollywood.

I’m not from Los Angeles, so I thought I was doing good being able to “handle” these types of women.

Magic let me keep going, observing at a distance but eventually he took me out of the set (very smoothly as to not embarrass me) and then explained that sexual attraction is a strong force UNDERNEATH words and has a limited window for acting on it.

Magic said I had MISSED the opportunity for that group – which I disagreed with.  I went back in, ready to show Magic that he was WRONG…

…and was blown out by another guy 5 minutes later. Ha

I had always believed that the amount of time you spent in conversation, flirting, and what not, the BETTER the chances are of getting a woman, or at least a better chance than other guys.

A flood of thoughts came rushing back about all those women I had missed out on before when I hadn’t had the guts (or knowledge) that you need to touch women in the right way EARLY on.

A few hours and some fun experiences later, we wrapped up the night at a diner, and Magic taught me so many more valuable lessons on social dynamics.

The next day, I met up with Magic for lunch to continue our training. Magic went over ESSENTIAL principles that every guy should know about attracting women.  These principles have EVERYTHING to do with how to be successful. Without them, well… let’s just say it’s a slow and painful road.

One was the fact that women DESIRE sex just as much as men, if not more.

I challenged Magic and asked that IF that were true, why wouldn’t women be having one-night stands every day of the week with any guy?

Magic responded by saying that women DON’T do it with just ANY guy due to societal stigmas and personal reputation…

But here’s the GOOD NEWS:

Women DO have one-night stands and friends with benefits ALL THE TIME with SEXUALLY confident, non-judgmental, and “cool” men.

Why didn’t I know about THIS?

I think the biggest reason is because I’m not ONE OF THEM.

That was about to CHANGE!

After discussing some limiting beliefs, insecurities and unrealistic expectations Magic instilled a sense of ownership of life and my dating.   In that moment the YEARS of stress and anxiety about going out vanished.

It disappeared because I was now being comfortable with who I am, being unapologetic for being a SEXUAL man and knowing very SIMPLE tools that starting making women viewed me in a much more desirable way.

All the things I had learned before this bootcamp were actually ADDING to my anxiety when going out to meet women in bars, clubs and during the day.

Do you think you’d be more or less nervous about giving a MEMORIZED speech to a large audience instead of free flowing on a subject that you enjoyed?

That’s the way it WAS with me. 

I added so much pressure to myself, and when I got rid of most of it, I felt like a rockstar.

I spent hours with Magic plowing through my limiting beliefs that were pushed so deep into my mind that I didn’t realize they were still there

We then met up later and went through 5 simple skills that I could use that night to really magnify my presence and get women attracted.

He calls them T.E.A.S.E. and you can watch him explain them at www.youtube.com/attractionmethods

Tonality, Eye Contact, Animation, Sexual Escalation and Energy.

By mastering each of those individually, you can OWN THE TOWN.

That night I had some great experiences, and many that I will never forget.

Like how women look at me in a completely different way… (it’s all in the eyes!)

Like when I got a woman’s number while she was ON A DATE.

Like when I made out with another woman within ONE HOUR of meeting her (which was a BIG step up for me).

After 5 phone numbers, a make out and invitation to an exclusive after-party I now realize the NEW WORLD that’s possible.

On Sunday, Magic wrapped it up with some other very compelling techniques when dealing with threesomes, one-night stands and multiple girlfriends.

This guy is the UNTAPPED master of the seduction community.

He gets it on a real level.

He actually gets laid.

He actually gets results for his students.

Magic states that 3/4 of his students last year got laid on the bootcamp itself or within the week after.

That does NOT surprise me one bit.

But Magic is not for every guy. He takes his work very seriously and dedicates his entire weekend to your improvement. He pushes you.

He doesn’t go and hit on women while he’s coaching you, he doesn’t take calls when he should be listening to you, he doesn’t ditch you for a one-night stand.

Magic is with you every step of the way and he knows his shit.

If you’re sick of being jerked around by all these dating coaches out there that promise BIG but deliver small results, then check out Magic and Attraction Methods before he gets BIG (so you can get his coaching at the current low prices).

I can’t recommend Magic more highly, come to think of it, I’m not even going to take any more coaching from any other companies because it’s simply not NEEDED.

I feel different, I act different and women now LOVE it.

If your serious about getting this handled, skip the YEARS that I wasted learning marketing myths, by emailing Magic and setting up a free phone consultation to see if you’re a good fit for each other.

You can use the contact form on his website or email him at magic (at) attractionmethods.com

He also does one-on-one’s and 4 person bootcamps starting around $1400 or so. Oh, and his products and coaching are ALL with a 100% money-back guarantee. 

Magic’s that good.

You’ll probably get a lot out of the free coaching call even if you don’t decide to go ahead with the training. I didn’t take the bootcamp for two months after I spoke to Magic, but I wish I had taken it earlier and not WASTED that time.

And you’re probably thinking this is sounding like a BIG SALES PITCH AND I UNDERSTAND THAT.

But, it’s like I’ve just taken a flight on an airline and their service was AMAZING and they got me there AHEAD of time. 

That’s the way I feel about Magic. 

Would you be telling your friends about the airline that treated you exceptionally, and got you to your destination like NO OTHER AIRLINE had before?

Yeah, you’d be recommending it other people too.  

So, don’t WASTE YOUR FUCKING TIME with other coaches, just get this handled and MOVE ON!

Anyways, that was long… lol

It’s book review time again, and this time: Michael Jordan, Driven from Within. I was pretty skeptical at first … the book’s very decorous, which is a nice way of saying, it’s largely a picture book. And it has a ghost writer too, which is normally a bad sign.

Having read it, I can say it was truly life-changing. Some of the philosophies espoused in the book are totally paradigm shifting, and seem to come back to me at the most opportune moments.

The book’s written from several perspectives – interviews with the man himself, interviews with his family and people he worked with. It also charts the development of his sneaker brand.

Overcoming Tricks of the Mind

Many of the themes are repeated over and over, one of the most powerful for me being the idea of overcoming adversity using your creativity, rather than letting it get you down:

I remember being at the gym with Michael, and there was this businessman, very successful. He wanted to get back in shape, and he’s laying on the board doing some inverted situps. The guy starts talking about how he’s getrting cramps, and he stops. Michael tells him he has to find a wsay to get past the pain if he really wants to get back in to shape. The guy walks around a little while, comes back, and finally does another set – The mind will play tricks on you.

The mind was telling you that you couldn’t go any further. The mind was telling you how much it hurt. The mind was telling you these things to keep you from reaching your goal. But you have to see past that, turn it all of if you are going to get where you want to be.

Earning What You Want

The entire first chapter is called “Earned”, and it’s another big theme running through the book:

“Players who practice hard when no-one is watching generally play well when everyone is watching”

He talks a lot about greatness. My favourite definition? Greatness is your opponents knowing the have to do their best, when all you’re doing is expressing yourself in the moment, never having to think abuot lifting your game or trying harder – because you’re firing on all cylinders from the core.

No Fear of Failure

Again, best explained by a quote from the book:

There was never any fear for me, no fear of failure. If I miss a shot, so what? You either make it, or you miss it. I could think that way because I knew I have earned the opportunity to take that shot. I had put in all the work, not only in that particular game, but in practice every day. If I missed, then it wasn’t meant to be. There’s no stress in losing under those circumstances – it just wasn’t meant to be.

I was as prepared as I could possible have been for that mooment. I couldn’t go back and practice a little harder.

If you know you haven’t prepared correctly, or you know you haven’t worked hard enough, that’s when the other thoughts and emotions creep in to your mind. That’s stress. That’s fear.

It’s the same process for doing anything, anywhere in life no matter how big or small the stage. Whether it’s running a corporation, taking a test in second grade, or taking a shot to win a game, at that moment you are the sum total of all the work you have put in, nothing more and nothing less. If you are confident you have done everytyhing possible to prepare yourself, then there is nothing to fear.

Guys coming in to The Game often say “I wish I’d found this stuff earlier”. They look back through years they feel they’ve wasted interacting with others ‘normally’, and wish they could go back and avoid a lot of the more ‘negative’ experiences they’ve been through.

I found myself feeling much the same way reading Pulling Your Own Strings by Dr Wayne Dyer (Amazon). Many of the issues he raised I felt I’d dealt with the hard way, battling day after day with some self-defeating behaviours, and finally coming up with solutions that seem inferior to the ones he presented.

We are, however, the sum of all of our experiences, both the positive and the negative. If you look in the mirror, and you’re happy with what you see, and you find yourself excited about the future, then wishing you could change the past is pointless – all you can change is your future.

And if you want your future to include rock-tight inner game, this book is an excellent start!

What is a Victim?

The raison d’etre of the book is “avoiding being victimized”. As such, the book highlights many examples of others victimizing you that you may not previously recognized as such, and specific ways in which they do it. The book has a broad definition of victimization. In summary:

“You are being victimized whenever you find yourself out of control of your life. If you are not pulling the strings, then you are being manipulated by someone or something else.”

The book then goes on to give specific example after specific example. Silent acceptance of poor service at a restaurant? Victimization. Being blackmailed in to attending family events you don’t want to be at? Victimization. Feeling compelled to finish your plate of food even though you feel full? Victimization? Boasting? Victimization.

Bringing us back to pickup and dating, being victimized is essentially being controlled by social pressure. It’s not talking to that girl because you’re worried about other peoples reaction to that. It’s accepting flakey or irrational behaviour from a girl because you don’t want to ‘hurt her feelings. Essentially, it’s operating from a position of weakness – something that will absolutely sink your attractive interactions with women.

Not Boasting

I use a rather involved system for reading self-development books to try and make sure I internalize the lessons in them. The first step of this is underlining the points that for me hit home the hardest.

Chapter 5, “Becoming Quietly Effective”, found itself with a disproportionate amount of underlinings. As discussed elsewhere on this site, trying to impress others, or trying to elicit their positive judgment is a sure way to chisel away at your self-esteem. As well as including a great deal of real-life examples of this, Dr Dyer also includes a great little exercise on divorcing yourself from this validation-seeking behaviour:

“Practice being quietly effective by postponing announcements about your achievements. Time yourself on one-, two-, or three hour delays, and then ask yourself if you still have to tell someone. This is particularly useful for handling news that will make you appear superior to the person you are informing. The delay system works because after waiting for several hours, or even days, you no longer feel the urgency to portray yourself as a winner, and once the news does come out (if it does), you will seem like what you are becoming – a person who takes achievements calmly and modestly in stride.”

Beating The Past

One of the most frequent ways used to victimise you is attempting to shame you for past behaviour before trying to get you to comply. A recent example from my life which I recognised from reading the book: a company had canceled an account I had held with them 6 months ago due to inactivity without telling me, but had continued to charge me. When I rang up to find out why the account had stopped working, and was told this, I asked for a refund. I was told that they would only refund me two months, as I should have rung them as soon as the account had been disabled.

Previously, I’d have been annoyed, but silently accepted this. Having recently finished this chapter, I stuck to my guns, asked to speak to a manager, and was able to get a full refund with minimum hassle. As explained in the book:

“Whenever anyone tells you ‘You should have’, look out for victimization. A ’should-have’ will not change a thing you’ve done, but it can be used to get you to admit you were wrong, and to avoid dealing with you about what can be done now. As long as a potential victimizer can keep conversation focused on your past behaviour, you can be certain you will not get what you are looking for now”.

Conclusion

At first glance, the book is not a dating book. It’s not a pickup book, and it has little in the way of specific examples relating to dating. At the same time, as the most excellent Braddock from Love Systems described it to me, “it’s like taking steroids for your inner game”.

A lot of the themes discussed in the book are the same themes found in many of The Community’s Inner-Game products: authenticity, honesty, internal validation, and defining your own boundaries and standards for other people. The focus being away from meeting women is almost a feature: it’s about standing on your own two feet, and being an assertive, confident person.

Highly highly recommended

Amazon Link

I get a lot of email from guys who are successful in lots of areas of their life, but want to improve the success they have with women. Most of them ask me if I’ll recommend any products to them.

Normally I recommend they buy the absolutely essential Double Your Dating, and go on a workshop with Love Systems. The two market leaders, and both have a 100% refund guarantee – what more could you want?

But I started thinking: what have I read and what would I recommend that isn’t all that well-known in the community? What products helped me the most that I haven’t heard people talking about that much, and that I’ve not had people email me asking for my thoughts on?

So what follows is my list of products that have blown me away, my experiences with them, and with the authors who created them …

Conversation Hypnosis

http://www.conversational-hypnosis.com/

Igor’s one of two guys who I keep bumping in to unexpectedly in real life, and who I’m always consistently impressed by when I do. He’s exceptionally bright, always friendly, and has a way of talking that just sucks you in – something you’d expect, I guess, considering he’s a world-renowned hypnotist whose books appear on most Required Reading lists for hypnosis courses.

As a result, I was expecting to be pleasantly surprised by his course. The website promised a lot, but most marketing websites do, right? When it came, and I got a chance to listen to it, I was completely blown away. I’m still working on applying all the principles in it, but I started noticing results in how people interacted with me the next day.

Don’t get me wrong: you’re not going to instantly learn how to hypnotise Jessica Alba in to bed. But you will learn how to very effectively persuade people you meet, and suck them in to your own reality. Highly recommended!

High Status Male

http://www.highstatusmale.com/

I was VERY LUCKY in my opinion to get a personal recommendation on this product. Why? Because his website sucks ass. If I hadn’t had my wing almost compel me to part with my cash (by talking non-stop about the ebook), there’s not a chance in hell I would have done.

The website looks like it was sucked from some 1998 Internet Revival Archive, the models he uses to sell his book are NOT the kind of women I’m looking to meet, and frankly, he looks like a gnome (sorry Mike!)

The book is absolutely gold though. The inner-game concepts in it are fantastic, the way he talks about embracing your masculinity and ridding yourself of shame – it’s one of the few products that I come back to time and time again, and every time I learn something new or see a new layer in there.

The Way of The Superior Man

http://www.amazon.com/

Real Social Dynamics have a way of getting very very excited about books. They’ll go through periods where it doesn’t matter which of their instructors I’m talking to, they’ll keep talking about the same book. In fairness: the books tend to be awesome.

David Deida’s Way of The Superior Man was one of these, and I’m glad it was. The book is, as far as I’m concerned, the Bible of Masculinity. I know several people who’ve said it’s made them cry just reading it, and I know it’s had a profound effect on my relationships with the women in my life.

It talks about your responsibilities as a man, both to women and yourself. It’s profound, entertaining, and easy to read. Even the small number of women I lent my copy to were amazed by it, and all came away saying that they’d never met anyone who understood women as well as the author. Steal the money to buy it with if you have to.

Same Night Lays

http://www.themysterymethod.com/

I’ve been very very fortunate to spend a bunch of time with Sinn recently, and see him in action in the field. I’m always blown away watching him game, and I’ve worked with all of your internet heros at one point…

Sinn and Captain Jack’s Same Night Lay’s seminar is off the dial. It’s content I’ve not read or seen anywhere else expressed intelligently, clearly, and in a way that you can use that evening. Everyone I sat in the seminar with in London came away saying it was some of the best money they’ve ever spent.

The bad news? It can be pretty damn difficult to get a space. Not only do places sell out pretty quickly, but I know Sinn’s working his ass off on a bunch of other things at the moment, and just doesn’t have time to do the programs to meet the demand. At the time of writing, there’s only one Same Night Lays seminar up on the program over at The Mystery Method website.

Hey happy people,

Grow Your Game’s Top Links has been running since early June this year. In that time we’ve had about 1,200 stories submitted from 100 users, with almost 200 active users voting on those.

We get a lot of email from people asking us what the top stories of the year have been. We had to do a little bit of pruning to remove some stupidity (like us rating stories 100 when we wanted to make an announcement – not so smart!), account for the fact that our admins’ votes count for 2, not 1 (we have to keep the place in some order!), remove any votes we added artificially in our first month when we were trying to get momentum going, and set the limit for popular stories waaaay too high, and clean up the small amount of vote-stuffing that we didn’t catch earlier in the year (if your account has stopped working, that’ll be why…).

But we did it.

Best stories

Are you an “Agenda Guy”?

Sinn sounds off about guys who can’t just chill out when they meet him … and if they can’t chill out when they meet him, how will they do that when they meet beautiful chicks? For some reason, this short and simple article seemed to really resonate with you guys.

Live your life, enjoy women’s company, assume nothing

Shocking to find a TD article in this list, eh? More shocking still that the article boils down to: Just Be Yourself. Great if lengthy reading.

Sticking Point Analysis

Captain Jack (who I had the pleasure of getting totally wasted with earlier this year) gives a great system for how to get good. Something that polarizes people about The Mystery Method is that it’s so systematic – some guys love that, some guys hate that. If you fit in to the ‘love that’ crowd, this article is for you!

Best sources

Tyler’s Blog

No-one has been quite as prolific as TD this year. Lots of great material in his blog – truly, sharing is caring. Average score of 7.3, over 27 articles…

Oracle of Sweden

I hadn’t heard of them either. But you guys sure did love their articles. Average score of 7.0, over 8 articles…

Sinns of Attraction

Not just one of my favourite people, but also one of my favourite writers. He’s come out with three new products this year, all of which are golden – the PUA of 2007 in my (really not that) humble opinion. Average score of 5.5 over 44 (FOURTY FOUR) articles submitted.

We Love

NLU

Our tireless admin for Grow Your Game. Couldn’t have done it without him. Thanks for everything!

Tenmagnet

Helped me came up with the idea for Grow Your Game, pushed me to make it happen, and then supported me tirelessly on his website. Thanks buddy, see you in Vegas!

crl826

I know nothing about this guy, other than he uses Grow Your Game more than anyone else. He doesn’t vote favourites (although he seems to like the stuff that the various PU101 guys put out), he doesn’t spam, but he tirelessly contributes. Email me from the email address you signed up with – I have a Xmas present for you.

PickUp Podcast

I love these guys.

Mr M and Adam Lyons

My personal wingmen. Both have successfully gamed celebrities that you’ve heard of this year. Both have insane game. And they’re two of my closest friends in this world – Thanks guys!