Grow Your Game

I haven’t written an FR in ages. Fuck, this feels strange. It’s been a long while since I felt like I did anything out of the ordinary or particularly post-worthy. What happened below is something that I feel pretty proud of – partially because of the result, but mainly because that result was borne from the same determination that got me to where I am today.

Soul arrives in Sweden and argues with Mega about Day Game

It broke down like this. I had been running day game for a couple of days, getting some good results that culminated in a hot Swedish 20 year old coming to my hotel room – I tried to escalate but she was having none of it. No joy.

When Lord Mega arrives, we end up in one or our standard conversations where Mega disparages day game as being utterly pointless and a “fat waste of time”. The thing with Mega is that he has high standards, and most chicks on the streets – at least, most chicks on the streets in London – don’t impress him.

The Two Hottest Teens I’ve Ever Met

And then it happens on Saturday. I’m in the middle of a day game 1-on-1 with a student, and I see these two absolutely stonking beauties walk past. As I turn around and watch them walk away, I think, “Those girls are TOO hot for me, that set will NEVER go well.” Then my chin retracts back into its socket and my balls re-emerge. I remember that I am not a product of my thoughts but a product of my action – nothing ventured, nothing gained. I turn to my student, ask him to give me two minutes, and spring into action.

I run after the two girls and stop just behind them. I turn them around, gently place my hands on their lower backs and exclaim, “Oh my God!!! You two are so fucking hot!!!”

It was superdirect and full of passion. I literally explained to them that they were the two hottest girls I had seen in Sweden, and that I never, ever saw girls as hot as them in London.

Two minutes later, it’s all going well, and then I think, “Fuck, this is going too well. What the hell do I do now? Keep your cool man! I know this. I’ve been here before. The girls are much, much hotter now, but it’s the same shit. Keep your cool!”

So I start thinking logistics and trying to figure out how I’m gonna fuck these girls. They’re too young to get into a club tonight, so it has to be drinks at my hotel room. I invite them, they seem potentially up for it, and we part ways.

The Inevitable Flake

The next few hours I continue teaching my student and do a few more sets. In my head I’m biting my nails and hoping that these two girls won’t flake. One of the girls and I exchange text messages. It starts to flake. By 6pm it’s almost completely flaked.

I’m frantically texting her back, trying to call her, pulling every charming trick out of my bag that I can to un-flake the whole situation. It falls apart: the final texts said they’d try to come see me at my hotel after they’ve seen some friends. It’s too loose, nothing is pinned down. It isn’t going to happen.

I am a creature of persistence. Mega is lying asleep in his bed as he recovers from last night’s ONS, and I’ve just lost two of the hottest girls I’ve ever day sarged. I do not give up so easily. I head back out into the streets, ready to continue day sarging until something good goes down.

The Recapture

I open a girl, she’s Thai, old, not amazingly hot, but boneable. To my surprise, after ten seconds of chat, she asks if I want to come have a beer with her. My prostitute alarm goes off, and I spent the first beer we have setting hooker traps and reading her responses. It’s cool, she is not a hooker, she’s just friendly and wanting to rant about her awful boyfriend. I ask if she’d like to have the next drink at my hotel, she agrees. Boom! Persistence pays off.

We walk back to my hotel and get in the elevator. The door starts to close, and then I hear someone calling my name. I turn and see a beautiful young blonde girl looking at me in bewilderment; the door shuts and brain frantically tries to process what is happening. Jesus Christ, the two super hotties are here! I have to think fast. Do I take the bird in the hand (which is a sure thing, but old and not particular hot) or the two, oh so pretty birds in the bush. I go for the bush. I send the Thai girl packing, and go meet the two hotties downstairs.

Apparently they had seen me walking into the hotel with the Thai girl, so I gave a little explanation that didn’t involve telling them I just met that girl thirty minutes ago on the street. Unreactivity is king.

As I walk into the room, I felt the immense satisfaction of knowing that my efforts had paid off – I pulled the two hottest girls I have ever met on the street back into my hotel room on the same day. I also felt the satisfaction of knowing that Lord Mega was going to come in his pants when he saw these two, and finally have to eat his own words about day game. I wake him up and tell him I brought him a present.

The Learning

The rest is history. We didn’t fuck them. I made out with the brunette chick, and Mega made out with the blonde. In retrospect, we realised that I needed to escalate on the blonde as she was the dominant girl, and she was into me. The brunette was the submissive. I went after her because for me, she was the “safer” option, in that quiet, brunette girls are more within my comfort zone and dominant blonde girls are not. The submissive would have taken whomever the leader hadn’t chosen, but it wouldn’t work the other way.

It was a mistake, and I’ve learnt from it. Nevertheless, that moment when I walked into the room with these two perfect examples of Swedish beauty, having met them only hours ago on the streets of a foreign city, made me think, “Fuck me, I’m glad I got into this shit.”

I am not a religious man, but God bless game.

Sexuality is a HUGE part of direct game. Most guys get it completely wrong and end up coming off as “sleazy”. I teach students how to be calibrated with their sexuality, how much and when to express it.

Calibrated expressions of your sexuality achieve two things: it increases her attraction to you (women like guys that are confident in the bedroom), and it makes her start reacting sexually towards you.
I remember sometimes being frustrated with indirect game because when I got a woman into bed, she didn’t always want to sleep with me. With direct game, because you use sexuality as part of the interaction through-out, if she comes home with you she knows full well what is going to happen – and she’s excited by the prospect.

She meets me at the bar, we talk with my friends, and then I pull her aside to a couch so we can talk in isolation.

Comfort

Direct game applies to comfort as well. I try and condense my comfort phase down to about an hour or two these days. Being direct is about being open with your feelings and passion, right? Well this is the part of the seduction process where you really get to express them!

If you can tell a woman what your real passions, ambitions, and feelings are in life within an hour or two of meeting her, then you’ll find that she is likely to do the same. Before you know it, you’re both locked in this little bubble, where it’s just the two of you talking about your innermost feelings, and it feels as if everything around you disappears.

This is the feeling we create with direct game. Nothing else should exist when you are looking deep into her eyes. By the way, really looking into a woman’s eyes is a powerful way to convey how you feel about her. It’s hard to explain in print, but people who met me know that it’s a look I can turn on or off now – it’s almost like you’ve just had a glimpse into the perfect paradise and you’re completely absorbed into it for an instant.

I ramp up the kino escalation by holding her hands as she talks to me about her past relationships. I stroke her hair now and then so she starts to feel that fluttery feeling when she knows a kiss is imminent.

She’s virtually told me everything that’s happened to her in the last couple of years by now, and I know that the trust is there. I need to think about escalating further and closing.

Sexual Framing

I tighten the sexual frame by telling her how incredibly sexy she looks tonight. Then I tell her to stand up – dominance is a very direct quality and increases her attraction to you – and turn her around, while whispering into her ear that her ass looks especially sexy.

I tell her that I’m thinking about doing all sorts of things to her that I probably shouldn’t be thinking about. I can see she’s getting turned on and responding to the sexual frame that I’ve created.

I spend a little time dancing with her, and then suggest we get out of there. At this point, she knows full well what’s going to happen. When we get back to mine, I sense she is a little nervous, so I spend more time talking with her, and telling her how much fun I’ve had with her that evening.

Being direct means you escalate fast. Occasionally, you will find you move forward too fast for girls. At this point, all you need to do is spend a little more time in comfort on an ad hoc basis. There’s no need to spend three dates or seven hours with her if you can escalate faster; just make sure when she is in bed with you, you understand her and have demonstrated why you like her.

I won’t go into details of the rest of the night, but neither of us got much sleep, and she has now become one of my best friends. All throughout the interaction, I never misled her about how I felt about her and what I wanted. She respected me for that, and it’s one of the reasons why we’re still close to this day, and one of the reasons why I love direct game.

I didn’t start by using direct game. I started off and got good by learning indirect game. I think starting off with an indirect approach probably helped me. Direct game is incredibly powerful, but it takes a certain amount of confidence to pull off. As a student said to me recently, “You’ve got to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can jog.”

I ultimately switched to being direct because it was more congruent with my personality, and I had more fun with it. I love the look of shock on a woman’s face when you approach her and say, “You’re fucking sexy, how are you?” I especially love it when the same woman is in my bed hours later.

So Savoy asked me for a recent example. This is about a woman I met on the street, slept with that night, and is now one of my closest friends.

The Approach

I was walking down the street with Sheriff, when he spots a beautiful Asian woman walk past (Sheriff knows I have a penchant for Asians). She looked absolutely stunning. Tanned skin, long jet black hair, big celebrity-style sunglasses and a crisp summer dress; she was a vision of beauty. She was already a few steps in front of us, so I leapt after her.

I rushed up to her from behind, touched her gently on the arm to turn her around, and said, “Excuse me, I saw you walking down the street and thought, ‘Oh my God, that woman is beautiful’, and had to come talk to you.”

Things like leaping after a woman or starting with “excuse me” could be try-hard with an opinion opener, but they are totally congruent with direct game. The goal is to come off as charming and confident, without seeking a specific reaction from her.

You can find a bunch of great direct openers in Magic Bullets, but remember that the key to delivering them is passion and enthusiasm. The more she thinks you’re being 100% genuine with her, the better she will respond.

The Look

She gave me that classic look that I’ve seen thousands of times. The look of surprise, slight shock, and quick once-over of you to see if she’s potentially interested. Unlike in indirect game, where you build up your value from the ground as you interact with the woman, in direct game you have to have high pre-approach value, otherwise she will write you off. This means looking as good as you possibly can, having very strong body language, and delivering your opener with the utmost confidence.

She giggles and asks if I’m sure that I’m not trying to sell her something. I joke around with her for about how I’m not trying to sell her something, and in fact I am trying to pick her up, which gets her giggling even more. One of the things that I’ve learnt in direct game is that if you can make her laugh IMMEDIATELY after opening directly, it completely relaxes them.

At this point, you’ve done something very powerful. You’ve shown your interest, so they know you are picking them up, but you’ve also shown them that they can enjoy it. Humour is huge for direct game.

Comfort

I suggest walking down the street with her for a little bit so we can talk more, and she agrees. For the next few minutes, I get to know her a little better and start building comfort. I also start thinking about where and how I am going to spend the next few hours of time with her.

In direct game, you close quickly. When I ran indirect game, I would always make sure to “play it cool” throughout the pick-up. I never wanted to appear too needy, so I would wait a little while before texting or calling her, and then set up a date for a couple of days later. That way I looked like I had a busy and interesting lifestyle.

With direct game, you take the reverse approach. Imagine the whirlwind romancer who flies into Paris for one night, meets a beautiful woman, charms and sleeps with her that night, and then departs sorrowfully the next morning. Direct game is meant to be THAT intense. It’s as if your feelings and your passion for this woman are so strong that you can’t help but act on them. Women LOVE this kind of intensity in their romantic encounters.

It turns out she doesn’t have any plans as yet for the evening, so I start seeding the idea of joining my friends and me for drinks that night.

We part ways for the afternoon, and I call her a couple of hours later. We arrange to meet up at the bar that night, and then I start creating a sexual frame by sending the text, “Make sure you wear something sexy for me tonight.”

Prepare to shield your eyes and stop reading if you are easily offended. Seriously, this will be an offensive article. So if you are going to bitch or leave an annoying comment, please skip this article.

So lately I have been focused more on quick escalation game. Mostly because I have been on the road 10 of the last 11 weekends. I think I’ve been in LA for the weekend once in 3 months. So I am all about trying to escalate for SNLs and in the club sex. My experimentation has led to a bunch of one night stands, but a complete failure to have sex in the venue. Until last night.

Brad P posted about a friend of his who could get blowjobs in clubs all the time by asking girls if they wanted to watch him “take care of himself.” So for kicks I had been field-testing this, and complaining that it didn’t work, because for the first 100 some times the girls just laughed. Then Savoy told me he talked to Brad and he said the key was to look for sexual looking lone wolves and wait for them by the bathroom. Kind of creepy. He also said that a lot of the time they just watch him jerk it. So it still sounded iffy but at least a little less so.

Last night as the Vancouver BC is ending I find myself in line next to a girl, and she gives me a look. I say: “Don’t worry I won’t be too long I’m just going to take care of myself. You wanna watch?”

She says yes and we go into the bathroom together, I actually had to pee though so I did with her in there and then I try to escalate and leave. Turns out she was an obstacle in a set a student was working. It’s around 2 so we round everyone up and start to debrief, we go outside of the club (Republic in case you’re wondering where this took place) and she happens to be out too smoking with TenMagnet.

I run some huge cock game including the term hitting her in the face with a frozen rope… she leaves by saying “Maybe I’ll see you in a bathroom sometime”. I immediately recognize this as buying signal, and wait for her to go before I too head inside. I find her at the table with her friends who inform me that she’s gay and drunk. She had previously told me she had not been drinking and as a drunk guy I can tell when people are drunk.

I grab the girl by the arm and drag her to the bathroom, telling her friend that it is my job to drag her away and her job to stop me: credit Savoy. We get to the bathroom line and I make out with her on a pinball machine then in a dark storeroom before we get in line for the bathroom. Her friend re-appears and tells me she is going home with her. I agree, and say we are just going to the bathroom. The door opens and my girl and the obstacle have a discussion as to who is going home with whom before the obstacle starts to leave and I go into the bathroom with the girl. Shove against the wall and removal of bottoms ensues. I try to go for the gold but I end up with a bathroom BJ.

So far the masturbate watch technique is 1 for about a hundred, but the amount of effort almost makes it worth it. Plus it’s one of those things that show you are just fucking with the set if they don’t take it. I have yet to get a bad reaction from that line.

In Part 1, Mr M details getting the phone number of a Playmate. This is what happens next:

Having gotten her number, I have a seminar to teach. I call her after to arrange a meet up. I’d done a bunch of work to make sure the number was solid – what we call a time bridge – but from club promoting, I know that however hard you work, women of a particular beauty have so much going on in their life that there’s always going to be a certain degree of flakiness.

The phone rings. And rings. And rings. No answer. I’m pretty ambivalent at this point – I thought it was a straight flake. But there are a bunch of hot women in this world, and I know I’ll close others, soon – I didn’t understand why everyone else around me was making such a fuss about having to ‘make it work’. I throw the phone on my bed and have a shower.

As I come out, I see Carlos with my phone. “SMS game”, he says, “is the low-compliance alternative”. He gives the phone back to me – while I’ve been in the shower, he’s been SMS’ing her, and had two replies back. By ‘low-compliance’ he means I’m not asking for her to invest too much. An SMS takes her 10 seconds to reply to. A phone call puts her on the spot, and maybe I’ll make her feel uncomfortable. Therefore, she’s more wiling to SMS back than to answer the phone.

Two SMSs was all I needed to make this work. The rest of the evening, we SMS’d back and forth. I followed the basic rules:

• Don’t appear too eager
• Try to be light-hearted, succinct and funny
• Always appear to be having a better, more fun and interesting time than she is
• Using SMS distractors

It was fun – we teased, mocked, and bantered. After about 5 exchanges, I started getting her to qualify herself to me – to start explaining herself and justifying herself to me. I used all my regular SMS tricks to build attraction – building up a conversation, and then stopping replying, so she’d send me a few messages in a row, a couple of nice little push-away comments that work well over SMS. She asked me to come and meet her at the bar she was at. I told her to fuck off, that I was having too much fun where I was. The frame I wanted was her chasing me.

Just as bootcamp ends, she sends me an SMS that says “Why don’t you just swing by to my place and we’ll have a drink”. Score.

I head over, and thus commences two of the hardest hours of game that I’ve ever had. Every second comment from her is a test. She alternates between being a massive pain in the ass and coming out with amazingly insightful comments about me, herself, and the world.

To cut a long story short, it took me an hour and 5 attempt to actually kiss her. While we were isolated in her room. I tried all my usual tools, and she rejected me on every single one – and hard rejected too: “don’t try that again” sort of rejected. This was a new experience for me.

Finally, I focussed on using the most powerful tool in the box – the freeze-out. I would create an intensely good feeling through emotional connection or by getting her laughing. Then cut it dead, and say I think I should leave. She needs to feel that loss. Then hesistate slightly, and go for the kiss.

That plus a LOT of reframing the situation. I don’t think other teachers emphasize this enough. I’ve found the real 9’s and 10’s, the models, the celebrities, the playmates, and the socialites, really really respond to it. Changing the frame so you are the one choosing her, you are the one evaluating her. I have a whole load of tools for this, but an example is: I’d keep telling her how the chicks in Los Angeles were too touchy feely, and couldn’t be classy and keep their hands to themselves. And how I can’t ever find a girl who’s loyal, fun, and a sexual freak (credit: Sinn).

At one point later in the evening she actually said to me: “I bet you’re one of those guys who girls like me go crazy for all the time”. I asked her what she meant, and she said: “you know, FHM models, playmates and that – it’s because you think like us – I mean, women treat you the way guys treat us”. This from a girl who’s never seen me talk to another woman. This stuff is powerful!

It took me another hour still to get her top off. And even longer for what came next – I’m not going to go in to the full details, that’s not my style, but no, I didn’t have sex with her. I couldn’t do it – too much resistance, and my game’s not quite there yet. You learn from your mistakes, and my co instructors have given me a bunch of ideas on what I could have done next. In my mind, I was dead tired, wanted to sleep in my own bed before I had to teach seminar and to me she was, like I said, just another hot chick. Nothing wrong with that way of thinking.

In the book ‘The Game’, Style talks about how he number closes a Playboy Playmate. Standing on his great shoulders, I’m pleased to report that I was able to take things one step further – and I’m going to share that story with you today.

I was running a The Mystery Method workshop in LA a few months back. We were about to start teaching Day 2, when Carlos taps me on the shoulder and points out this chick in the hotel lobby.

Carlos has some pretty high standards, and if he points out a girl, it’s worth taking a second look. This chick was smoking – even in her gym clothes, you could see she was a 10 out of 10 … or as close to it as a real woman can get!

The lift doors open, and it’s time to get in, but if experience has taught me anything, it’s that there’s always 500 excuses not to approach – and 1 very good reason to approach. Even though I’ve done this a million and one times, I still get a bit of anxiety about approaching girls – I’m good, but I’m also human. At the end of the day, you’re a man of your actions, not your words, so I walk on over.

As I go in, my training and experience start to kick in – I’ve done this quite literally 1,000 times. I’m considering the best approach, but I’m strangely zen-like calm. The closer I get, the more I realise this chick is even hotter up close than I’d realised. She’s getting hotter and hotter with each step – long blonde hair, beautiful figure, and exquisite features. Oh, and, the workshop starts in 5 minutes!

Logistically, how do you approach a super-hot girl during the day? Full credit to London Soul for recently showing me you can go in direct, but my experience is: if the girl is super-hot, with lots of social value, you can get more consistent results from going in slightly more indirect.

I don’t want to open the target directly, but luckily there’s a concierge, and he HAS to be nice to me. If I can open him, and demonstrate high value (DHV) quickly, I’m in without looking try-hard. And if I give a little thought to my opener, I can transfer it over to her.

Luckily, I think fast. Prior preparation and planning prevent poor performance and all that…

Mr M: ‘Hey buddy… do you know if there’s a place around here where I can get some quick food?’

Simple, functional, and just loud enough for her to hear too. All I need from him at this point is some acknowledgement of my question. I don’t need to wait for him to come up with twenty options – I’m bringing the party, not waiting for them to bring the party to me!

GUY: ‘Hmm…’

Mr M: ‘I’ve got to lead a seminar downstairs in 5 minutes but I’m starved but there was something wrong with the meat in this burger [pointing to fast food paper bag in my hand]. I think I might get mad cow disease from it or something’.

Simple little demonstrator of value, in terms of leading a seminar (being a leader of men is one of the important attraction switches), a bit of humour thrown in for good measure, and I even added a time constraint in to take the pressure out of the situation. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that she smiles. That’s the hook point I need.

I’m genuinely on a tight timeframe here, so I open her with the same functional opener straight.

Mr M: You know where I can get healthy beef burger?

Let’s be honest. This isn’t the best chatup line in the world. There’s limited places for it to go, and it’s not that funny or cool. But the point of the opener isn’t magical chatup lines. It’s not to find one or two phrases that’ll make her magically drop her panties. It’s about getting in to a conversation, and then switching to a new topic:

Playmate: There’s a burger shop down the road.

Mr M: Do they have good burgers?

Playmate: I think so.

Mr M: Made from healthy cows?

Playmate: [Laughs]

Mr M: Thanks

OK, so that’s our opener done. Rather than start asking her lots of questions about herself like every other guy, I’m bringing the party to her, not asking her to be the party (this is a consistent theme!) I don’t want to let the pressure build up on her, and she knows that she’s not done anything yet to earn my attention other than look pretty. So I turn as if I was going to move away, and then back to her as if I’ve just thought of something important – this is called ‘body rocking’.

Mr M: You know, you remind me of a friend of mine that I used to hang out with while I travelled Australia. She was cool, funny and fun – they don’t make that type of girl much anymore. Her name was Brenda but we used to call her Bertha. I don’t know your name so I’m just gonna call you Bertha. Thanks Bertha [Hold hand out to shake her hand]

Playmate: [Laughs] I really don’t like that name. [shakes my hand].

Mr M: Jesus, I’ve only known you for like 2 seconds and we’re already not getting along.

Giving girls stupid names is a great tool. It diffuses any weird ‘trying to look cool’ tension, makes her look a bit silly, and puts you in control. When she says she doesn’t like it, rather than apologise, I push her away a bit jokingly. Having these little barriers is what creates sexual tension – and most men are always trying to knock them down, not put them up!

The interaction continues. Rather than using memorised lines, I’m just using certain principles that I know build attraction. I’m talking about the other women in my life (but there’s an art to doing this – you don’t want to seem like you’re boasting!), talk about travelling, but at the same time teasing her more and creating more little barriers between us.

I am now very conscious that Carlos and I need to get to seminar. It’s been like 10 – 15 minutes. We’re getting late. Also, he’s watching and waiting near the lift. I now have a student watching too. Plus, the guy I originally asked about the burger is starting to stare. I’ve got an audience … time to get out of there.

I’ve demonstrated enough value. Any other girl would have been putty in my hands already so I close using a standard, but solid, number close: ‘It was cool meeting you. Lets catch up tonight at Bar X. What’s the best way of getting into contact with you?’ Simple, effective, and I stole if from Adam Lyons!

She pulls out a card from her purse, gets a pen and writes her number on it. I take the card. It says, ‘[Name], Playboy Playmate, FHM model, Cover Girl on [a bunch of magazines], TV appearances on [about 20 programs including MTV soulmates, NBC, E! etc etc]’. And it has a half naked centerfold picture of her on it.

I tease her for being a poster girl, say goodbye, smile warmly, walk away and get into the lift. I hand Carlos the card. He looks at me sheepishly. We both start to laugh. Poor guy says it was a turning point for him not to hesitate as it should’ve been him!

Continued in Picking Up a Playmate – Part 2