Grow Your Game

MSN messenger pick-up game seems to be a common topic these days. With the increased popularity of social networking and online dating over clubs and social circles as venues to meet women, MSN and other chat skills are becoming more important for the single male.

Where most men fail is that they go into MSN without an objective. Make no mistake, there is one and only one objective to chatting- get her on a date. Not on the phone. Not for a second round of MSN. Not back to email. A date! If you can create a connection with her where she’s comfortable with you, there is no real reason why you can’t.

Now let’s look at the plan that will get you there. There are certain steps along the way, you aren’t going to get her out just by being funny! Done correctly, the following will create a solid connection with her:

Be playful – tease, flirt, and get her attention fast!
Be interested – don’t fake it, actually care about her and her life.
Ask questions – she needs to see that you are interested in her, and how else are you going to decide if she’s really worthy of your time on a date?
Relate your experiences to her answers – don’t just answer “me too!” but actually relate stuff from your life to hers in order to create commonalities.
Tease her – teasing gets an emotional response, which you need to build attraction. It also displays confidence. Be funny, not mean.
Ask her new questions about her old answers – delve deeper into her world, find out who she really is.
Be playful – tease, flirt, keep her attention (it is both first and last on this list on purpose).

Repeat this process until you’ve generated enough connection with her that she is interested enough in you to start asking you questions back.

Wrapping It Up

The time to end the conversation is when the energy starts to wind down just a little. She might be getting distracted by phone calls or something good on TV, or just might be getting tired of typing. This is the time for you to end the conversation. By ending it first, you keep the upper hand in the weird little power struggle of social dynamics by maintaining the image of having other more important stuff to do.

If things have gone well, this is the perfect time to ask her to meet in real life. You can and should have a reason, and even use it to ask her out.
“Look, it was fun chatting, but I’ve got to walk the dog, he’s staring at me. He’d love to meet you, why don’t you join us?”

You can also do it without giving her a reason, and create some mystery.
“Holy crap look at the time, you’ve totally made me late (not saying it wasn’t worth it), but I have to get out of here. Ciao!”

If things haven’t gone well, or she hasn’t displayed much interest in you (by asking you questions about yourself), then wrap up the conversation while it still has some energy and take another shot later. Worst case, tell her you will see her back in email, as you aren’t sure if you will be online again for a while. Desirable men don’t sit around on MSN all day waiting for women!

The Downside Of MSN

There are a few big drawbacks to MSN. For starters, it isn’t time efficient and can actually kill your interaction with her. If you are in a position where you are chatting with her on the phone, skip it and stay with the phone. If you are emailing her, try to move right to the phone, or even better, a date.

The problem is that people are lazy, and once they have hooked up with your MSN, it is a much easier solution to just wait for you to be online, rather than picking up the phone or banging out a thoughtful email to get in touch.

This leads to the biggest problem: once you’ve moved to a chat/Messenger based relationship, you’ve got to be online waiting for her to be online in order to have any contact with her. This definitely doesn’t work for you, because you will be out having fun with other women (RIGHT?). Since you do have a life, I hope, and she is hopefully cool enough to have a life as well, it can take days or weeks before you chat with her again. By that point, most of the fire between you will have died out.

This brings us full circle to our goal… the only purpose of MSN is to transition her into a date, always keep that in mind. If it doesn’t look like it is going that way, transition her into a more controllable media, like phone or email.

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