A Short Story
I want to tell you a quick story, and it’s not one with a happy ending. But it might well be one that seems eerily familiar to you.
Our friend John meets a girl. At first, she’s just another pretty girl, and he likes spending time with her, but after a little while, he starts to build up a pretty strong emotional connection to her. They spend time together with friends, and even spend some time together alone.
He starts to think about her when she’s not there, and starts wanting to spend lots and lots of time with her. The only problem is, John doesn’t know how she feels about him. She says things like “you’re really important to me”, and “I love spending time with you”, and once, when they were out for a coffee and talking about some emotional things, she held his hand.
John gets more and more worked up about this over the next couple of weeks, and in the end decides to tell her how he feels. When they’re alone he says: “You know, I really really like you - I’d like us to be together”
“Oh!”, she says, “That’s really lovely of you, but our friendship is just too important to me. I don’t want to ruin it! Let’s just be friends.”
Disaster! Poor John!
Want to know something even more frustrating? She probably did like John when they first met, but after a while, that attraction went away.
Let’s talk about why, and what you can do about it!
Finding out if she likes you
Guys try and hide the fact that they like girls. Why? Well, they’re worried the girl will say no, and they don’t want to “mess it up”. If they girl might even be a little bit interested, well, they want to hold on to that dream.
Here’s a secret for you:
Girls find the confidence in guys to show that they like a girl very attractive. Why? Well, what kind of guy is scared to show he likes a girl? One who doesn’t have girls interested in him very often, and is scared to mess up his chances with any who seem to like him even a little bit! That’s not an attractive quality.
The mistake John made above was that he waited far far too long to tell the girl he liked her - and then found that her attraction for him had died!
So here’s the trick: if you think a girl might like you, assume she does, and act accordingly - right from the beginning! If you’ve seen her a couple of times, and she laughs at your jokes, and enjoys spending time with you, ask her out on a date (and make sure she knows it’s a date!) right then! If she says no, or she’s not sure, that’s not a problem - say: “Hey, no problem, let’s just be friends then!”
February 26th, 2008 at 1:13 am
I’d jest like to add that to anyone reading this overall its good advice but Never, Never, NEVER Verbally tell a girl that you realy like her. Unless you’ve been together for a long time! It puts the relationship power in her hands and puts pressure on her to be the person making the decisions in the relationship which she dosen’t like and it kills the attraction almost instantly jest with one sentence (I like you) or something similar along the same lines!
I almost got caught up in being emotional with a girl I was sleeping with and I could see before my eyes in seconds the attraction for me almost dying, It tock an ultimatum of lets go our separate ways to save me!
My first proper girlfriend to when I was 16, I got to emotional told her I liked her and (lets jest be friends the next time we met —- Its instant!!!
Jest head my warning please because the article is a bit misleading in that way!