One key point we tend to come back to again and again on workshop is ’sexual preselection’ just because so much of what else we teach on how to be attractive ultimately comes back to it. So what is ’sexual preselection’?
What sort of things do women say they find attractive in men?
Tall
Confidence
Humour
Status/Power
Financial independence
Ambition
Socially connected
What do you notice? These are almost all non-physical traits! Where as men are largely attracted to the physical features of women, women are looking for how the man acts.
So while a man can see if a woman has the physical qualities he likes in a split second, a woman needs to spend some time talking to a guy to see if he has the qualities she likes (although you can communicate a lot of the above quickly and non-verbally).
And a hot girl hasn’t got time to talk to every guy in the bar who wants to take her home! There are more important things such as dancing on the tables, discussing American Idol with her friends, and applying lipstick.
Say she sees a guy in a bar, with two girls laughing at what he says, touching him and apparently attracted to him. Subconsciously, she’s going to think ‘those girls know that guy and think he is attractive, so he must be attractive’. This is the essence of pre-selection- it allows her to shortcut finding out about some of your attractive traits, as another girl(s) has already spent the time doing that for her.
This is easy to demonstrate in the field - go out and open 10 sets, then go to the same bar on the same night of the week with a female friend and open 10 sets. See the difference in reactions you get. We see this frequently on our London bootcamps, when we send a female instructor into a set to talk to the student for a few minutes. The sets blow open even if the girls were previously not responding.
Go out to a bar with two girls on your arm, and girls will open you. I’ve seen a chick vault a table (seriously!), and physically push other girls out the way to talk to me after I made out with two girls I’d just met in a club.
Let’s imagine for the moment that you currently don’t have any cool female friends to hang out with. Here’s a few other ideas you can use:
Always be ‘in set’. Don’t hang around like a dick with your guy friends holding your beer in front of you and staring at the dance floor. Be seen to be talking to girls.
Merge sets. Introduce your current set to another that you opened earlier ‘hey, come and meet my friends’.
Open a 2-set early in the evening and walk them around the venue- let everyone else see you with your female friends.
Use 2/3 negs early in set- negs convey pre-selection. You are subtly implying ‚ I am used to dealing with hot girls like you and having them react well to me.
Use value-building stories that convey you have girls in your life
A final thing ‚ if you’re ever a bit stumped as to how to act/what to do/how to respond to a text/email/call, think to yourself: “How would a guy who has many hot women in his life act?”
