Desire = Lower Value
Thursday
Aug 28, 2008
There’s no way around it. If you want a specific woman real badly, you won’t get her. Why? Maybe it’s because nature has a cruel sense of humor, but the important thing is that this is nature, and that is a rule.
If you want a thing really badly and you would do anything to get it, you will get it.
If you want a woman really badly and you would do anything to get her, forget it.
How do we solve this problem? Doesn’t this create an incongruence? No. For me, this is part of what creates the Zen of meeting women. Most good looking women have an incongruence with guys. When most guys see them, they see perfection. But when they see themselves, they see faults and how they could be better.
You know that feeling you get when an unattractive woman is all over you because she thinks you’re hot? You think “it’s cool but I could do better.” That is you when you’re drooling over a hot woman. She wants you to see her how she sees herself: a person with lots of faults, lots of insecurities, lots of room for improvement, and who is nowhere near perfect.
She’s used to her body, she sees it everyday, it’s normal, and she sees past that. She expects you to do the same. If you’re treating her any differently because of her looks, in her mind you’re a caveman; you’re the simpleton who hasn’t grown past it. You know there’re lots of 5s who want you, but it’s just not something you chose to focus on. You focus on the challenges.
So how do we become desirable?
Other women.
Other women are the key that opens a lot of gates. I don’t care if this woman is your first date ever. If you communicate the fact that if she doesn’t go out with you, other women will, she will be the first one lined up with all of her make-up.
Women are very competitive. Imagine you’re starving in the desert, and there’s a guy with one juicy burger, but he has to choose between you and another five people whom to give that burger. That’s the kind of competitiveness women have.
Women know a lot of this, especially the hottest ones. They have it internalized because unlike you and me, they had no choice about learning it. They have been getting approached over and over and desired by plenty of guys since they were in high school.
This is why desire = lower value. Every other guy acts the same way.
Use the jealousy plotline in every interaction. Tell a story about how you just met the craziest three German women ever, and how you went to the movies and got kicked out because you were all laughing so hard. It doesn’t matter if it’s true, it matters that she has to take you because otherwise you’re going to have a wild party with those other women and then she missed out.
She’s not that important and she knows it. She just wants regular treatment. Punish bad behavior. Reward good behavior. And for the rest talk about stuff that’s cooler than her.
For the longest time I killed myself trying to figure out what “talking about stuff that’s cooler than her” did. What I realized is that this means talking about cooler people and events than her. Tell a story about the club promoter and how you made up some names like John Smith and Marilyn Monroe to get on the list so you could bring random friends that called you afterwards. Tell her about the party you just threw downtown where all your crazy friends showed up and you all had a blast, and how the place ended up looking like a mess after.
The secret to saying stuff like that is always focusing on the lousy part, so it doesn’t look like you’re bragging. So if you had just bought a BMW, you’d say “I just got my first BMW. It’s not exactly the one I wanted, but hey, it’s a start.”
Talking about the cool people you know or events you attended is a huge display of your positive qualities for a lot of women. The hottest women are very value oriented, so the more value you and your life have, the more value you have to them. So just treat her like a dork, and tell her about you hanging out with your model friends. Always tell her “they’re my friends.” If she asks for more, tell her “they’re just my friends, just like you and I are friends.”
In my experience, this is the way to get hot women out of their shells and get them to chase you. It puts them in a competitive state of mind.
The important thing is never to get distracted and change your state of mind because they just want you to chase after them. You have to be like the carrot dangling at the end of the stick. Foster the illusion that she will never get you, and then act like “it just happened.”
Tell her “hey, we’re just friends.” When you show her proof that you hang out with lots of hot women, she will inevitably let it slip that she wants to be a part of it. Treat that as a test. Do not let her in. Keep her always chasing you until you are in your apartment, then make out with her and go as far as you want. That way “it just happened.”
Focus on the one you want and you will fail. Focus on other women and display that to her and you will be in control. The person with the least interest in an interaction has all the control. For us guys, the way to keep this control is by the threat of other women snatching you. Keep that in mind.
Author: Dahunter teaches for The Mystery Method and Love Systems. Originally from Guatemala, he had to learn to break in to the exclusive social circles where the most beautiful women are found. 
Comments
Infinity
August 29th, 2008 at 3:44 am
Good post! It does make a lot of sense. The jealousy plot line is one of the strongest plots to use in an interaction. It’s important to always talk about yourself in a positive manner that makes you look cool but more importantly, feel cool. If it was cool enough to brag to your friends about (barring the vulgarity of it all), chances are, she’ll like it too. Always have women in your life. Strong, beautiful, smart, young, old, whatever. Having women in your life makes a huge difference between those who try hard to get the girl and those who feel they already have her.
(I hope that last part makes sense)
Red
April 7th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Hmmm let me be the lone dissenter. This type of action would not attract me but turn me the hell off completely and run for the hills! I have had that done to me by many guys who thought it was cool. I have no time for someone who wants to brag about how cool they think they are.
A guy just needs to have interests in common with me, not be a heavy drinker, a sense of humour and of course just an all around happy fella. Once he starts talking about all the women he is with and cool parties he goes to, I tell him to hit the bricks! Likewise I don’t play the game in reverse.
lisa
January 12th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Love this article. I wonder if it works the same when you are trying to attract a man?
Tim Lewis
February 14th, 2010 at 11:06 am
It seems that a lot of women are doomed to meet non committed guys. If they want to meet a guy that likes them more than any other women but are more attracted to guys that don’t make them more important than other women.
Most men haven’t read articles like this, so chances are, the men that act like this are because they don’t have an attachment to the women other than physical. The men that are looking for a special woman, not just a few nights of short term fun are less likely to pretend to act like this, and maybe will act more focused on ‘the one woman’ and hence a smaller proportion of women will be drawn to them because of the more ‘needy’ attitude.
Some women will be at a loss when they want commitment but only fancy the guys that DON’T want commitment.
Himmler
February 22nd, 2010 at 7:35 pm
Not really lisa. if a woman brags to me about all the cool stuff she’s done, i feel like I’m way out of her league and I start to drift away. If she’s bragging about all the men she’s dated, it’s the same. I’m not a pro at this Game stuff yet so there are probably other men who have opinions different from mine.