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Becoming More Indifferent and Handling Shit Tests

Posted on 18 March 2008

Women find men who are confident around them attractive. Why? Because people are confident in situations where they’ve had previous success; if you’re confident around women, it’s a pretty good indicator that women tend to like you. Thus, confidence shows what we call preselection - the very attractive quality of other women finding you attractive.

Trouble is, it can be pretty easy to fake confidence for a short period of time. In a bar, guys will often drink to help build courage, or psych themselves up with their friends before going to talk to a girl.

So girls will often test guys to check they’re not just faking it. They’ll use what we call “shit tests”, and say things like “is this just a chat-up line?”, or “I hate your shirt”, or “why are you talking to us?”. These will completely throw most guys who are faking their confidence - they’ll mumble some reply, their body language will close up, and they’ll visibly deflate!

To get the hottest girls, you’re going to need to push yourself out of your comfort zone, and talk to girls you don’t feel confident around. What’s more, you’re going to want to appear confident. So how do you deal with these shit tests?

Start building up your indifference. Start working on your apathy. Practice divorcing yourself completely from how a set goes, but more importantly, how a woman views you. If you’re in set, and a woman starts testing you, practice just not caring. Look at her and smile. Take a breath and open up your body language, rather than closing it down. Look at her like she’s your pupil coming up with yet another amusing bullshit excuse why she hasn’t turned in her paper.

You have to build your indifference over time though, and you have to be at a place where you genuinely stop caring what a specific girl or group of girls think about you. Girls are great at reading guys, and they’ll see through you the first few times you try this. There’s a certain unfakeable vibe of genuine apathy - master that, and you’ll become the light, not the mosquito chasing it.

Buddha once said that attachment is the root of all suffering. Guys get attached to women, to alcohol, to drugs, to cars, to a certain lifestyle, to how people view them, to whatever. Freeing yourself from these chains brings you power in all areas of your life.

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