In any social interaction there are many channels of communication, but some are more powerful than others. Guys tend to spend a lot of time worrying about what to say, because they think the words they say actually matter. Let me make this clear- words alone will not get you laid. Following the Mystery Method emotional progression model will. It teaches you to communicate on the more effective channels of communication to get you laid.
Kino escalation is an example of a form of communication that is far more important than words, and we’ll get back to this in a minute.
Underlying your interactions is a punishment/reward sub-routine. This is applied differently depending on which phase of the Mystery Method model you’re in. In attraction we punish negative behaviour by negging, whereas in comfort we punish using freeze-outs and pregnant pauses in the conversation. By tapping into this channel you can begin to influence someone’s behaviour.
Another powerful channel of communication is what Malcolm Gladwell called ‘thin-slicing’ in his book ‘Blink‘. This is when we stereotype people based on previous behaviours we’ve seen. Basically if you act like a loser, people will assume you’re one. This is why you have to be aware of what your body is saying about you. You can say the most pimp thing in the world, but if your body isn’t saying it with you, it’s a lost cause.
For example, if you frequently break eye-contact, speak too quickly and generally act like a dork when you’re talking to a girl, she will respond badly. This isn’t personal- you’re just acting the same way other dorks have when they’ve talked to her, so she assumes you’re a dork too. Essentially you have sub-communicated lower value.
Your nervous behaviour comes off as needy as you act like all the other guys who wanted her approval. Cool high-value guys don’t need the approval of a girl they’ve just met. What do high-value guys do? Make strong eye-contact, speak loudly and take up space. Now this needs to be calibrated as staring at people while shouting at them with your legs far apart is more crazy than anything else. But the principle is there- you need to adopt high-value behaviour to be perceived as a high-value guy.
Now back to channels of communication. It’s always more effective to show someone you’re cool than it is to tell them. This is why the Mystery Method encourages you to lock in. Locking in is basically making sure you are the most comfortable person in the interaction. Leaning back against a bar while having girls surround you says high-value more than standing in an empty space on the floor. Locking in instantly conveys high-status without saying a word.
Another example of showing high-value behaviour is leading mixed sets. Opening a mixed set and becoming leader of the group makes your value explode when compared with telling a girl a story about what a leader you are and how many puppies you saved today.
So instead of sweating it out over what you’re going to say next, start thinking how you can actually say less. All this talking can be tiring, so give yourself a break and improve the more powerful communication channels. Using facial expressions to communicate in the punishment/reward channel is really effective. Instead of negging a girl, just roll your eyes for the same effect.
From now on when you’re in the field, become aware of what your body is saying about you. Your facial expressions, your kino and body language are extremely powerful indicators of social value. They can help you or hurt you, so make sure you get it right.
