Be The Selector
Friday
May 9, 2008
Be The Selector
What does this mean? Well let’s clear up what it’s not. Here’s the average guy: he goes to the bar, finds a position, stands there drinking hoping that either the right woman walks by so they can talk to her, or they wait and try to get drunk enough to not care anymore. Sound familiar?
Don’t be this guy.
If a hot women comes near them they’ll make the usual mistake. They’ll buy her a drink and she’ll spend a few minutes there before she gets bored and wanders off. Just to make it worse she’ll be sucking face with a dude in the corner while sipping the drink you just bought her.
Don’t be this guy.
This women will get hit on with the same boring approach by different guys over the course of the night. She can smell these guys a mile away. They stink of fear.
Don’t be this guy.
Be the selector.
Routines
Does the selector need to use routines? Well there are good routines and bad routines.
A bad routine has the man talking non-stop. This is because he’s nervous and can’t stand even a moment of silence. He has become a routine junky. This is a good test to do on yourself. Do you care if there’s a moment of silence in the interaction? The selector doesn’t. Other guys may stumble when they run out of things to say. They’ll get physically uncomfortable. WHY? THIS IS A GIRL YOU’VE JUST MET! The selector doesn’t care what some random girl thinks of him.
Now bad routines can get numbers and they work great on drunk girls. But do you want to be this guy? Your phonebook will be PACKED, but the girls won’t return your calls. The selector uses a few routines, but doesn’t rely on them to engage in a conversation.
Routines can be useful in a bar environment because women have their guard up. And they should, they have weird men hitting on them and looking at them like they’re a piece of meat and all that is missing is the steak sauce.
Using light and entertaining routines can separate you from the other guys and start the conversation. But the difference with the selector is how he says the routine… and how he listens.
It’s important to remain in the moment and actually connect with the woman and to do this you can’t be mindlessly reciting routines. Routines can be fun, but you are going to actually have a real conversation at some point.
Be This Guy
Women desire a man who selects them. They don’t want a man who begs for them. Make sure the women are competing for your attention, and not the other way around. Talk to as many women as you can to gain confidence in yourself. You’ll benefit in two ways- you’ll discover that talking to people isn’t scary at all, and you’ll develop a rock-solid confidence that women find irresistible.
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