Grow Your Game

Imagine that pickup, outer game, is like the leaves of the tree… what people experience on the surface.

It’s extremely helpful for most men to learn the outer game skills (Doing). Sometimes you guys just need something to get started with (”just tell me what to do and I’ll give it a shot”). Sometimes it’s at least a place to start by practicing the traits and appearance of the “alpha male” in hopes of eventually becoming (Being) him. Over time this can help to shift you on an internal level and eventually bring you to a place of mastery. It’s the “fake-it-till-you-make-it” approach, or, as we call it at AMP, the “Top/Down Approach.”

The limitation of this approach goes something like this:

Guy A has a breakthrough with women. Guys B, C, and D enviously study his behaviors in hopes of getting the same results. In a lot of ways this is healthy role modeling, except that, in no time, these guys are just mimicking his external behaviors (the Doing) without exploring what actually shifted in Guy A’s perspectives such that his new actions arose naturally (the Being). It’s like they’re trying to staple the leaves of some other guy’s tree onto their tree…without addressing the roots that gave rise to those leaves in the first place.

I know men who do incredible things with women and don’t have a bunch of funny stories to tell, no magic tricks or nothing. Some of them don’t say a word. There’s no cookie cutter mold for you to fit into to “succeed with women”.

That’s the difference between Top/Down & Bottom/Up (Inner Game) development. In the Bottom/Up approach, which is what AMP focuses on, we shift who we’re Being, and our own unique behaviors (the Doing) arise naturally, as an authentic expression of who we are.

Both can be effective, especially when practiced in tandem.

Lets talk a little bit about body language and how it relates to your attitude and confidence. We all know that people communicate with each other on multiple levels. But did you know that spoken words is just 7% of what we communicate? The majority of communication is done with vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, body language and gestures. All of these things and more make up our composite body language expressions, such as: Facial expressions, voice intonation, speed of speech , how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move, and even our breathing.

You may ask why body language is so important. First, because it is how we sub-communicate with others. This sub-communication is even more important that ever before, because society has created a link between our actions and how people feel. For example, when you are in room and you feel really nervous, everyone in the room will pick up that you are nervous by your actions, tonality, and speed of your movements. Such things are very obvious, especially to children who are not preoccupied with speech as much as many adults. You can see when somebody is sad, happy, excited, honest, or angry. Look at somebody who rapidly moves his foot up and down. This guy probably can’t look anybody in the eyes and is sub-communicating that he is insecure. Somebody who is hunched over, with her feet together, is subconsciously trying to not be noticed at all.

We can find wealth of information about other people by their body language. In terms of seduction, we learn to read what females are saying on a deeper level. An outgoing woman will do the exact same to you, she could tell you a zillion things that you are projecting, just by your image. Let me quote my girlfriend here: “I can see if a guy is good in bed, just by the way he walks.” That is so true. They can tell everything about you, just by the way you look. It comes from all those years of experience of guys hitting on them.

If you go out dressed like you do not care about your image at all, you probably don’t care, and women will notice this. On the other hand, if you go out dressed as a socially cool guy, you probably are a pretty damn smooth dude. As for the woman, this process of screening by looks and body language is a self-defense mechanism. She really doesn’t want to hook up with some low self-esteem loser, or some boring guy who doesn’t know how to give her some fun in her life. So they screen you and try to find out as many things about you as possible in a very short period of time.

Imagine, if you are a HOT girl, would you give 30 minutes of your time to each boring geek that hit on you?? No, you would give him 30 seconds and then the “F#*& off” line.

This is because she already knows that he is a boring, lame-ass guy. But what if some super-ultra confident guy, who is well dressed, comes into a room, walks slowly towards a hot girl with a smile on his face, and starts a conversation with a girl? Would she reject him??

Exactly. She would not.

Now let me ask you who the really confident in our society are, the ones with an attitude larger then life. Who are they?? Rockstars, company directors, successful managers, doctors, politicians…. etc.

Take a look at how they walk, how they sit, how they speak, and you’ll notice something really interesting. They are totally calm, like they control TIME. They are not in hurry. The way they move and how they speak completely radiates with super-confidence.

Lets take a look at what the most common mistakes are when somebody tries to pick up a girl:

• Talking too fast (being nervous)
• Talking too much (trying to impress her)
• Not knowing what to say next (not enough practice)
• Drinking (to become comfortable)
• Asking too many questions (you create rapport too soon, but she doesn’t want your rapport unless you have attracted her first)
• Body language wrong (hands connected, feet too close, shoulders down, leaning in)
• Buying her drinks (trying to buy her over, or even worse, trying to get her drunk)
• Not being comfortable talking with strangers (social anxiety)

Does any of this radiate with any confidence??? Hell no!! Take a look and see that every action here projects INSECURITY!!

Ok, let’s correct this poor body language together. Here is list of things that you must FIX…

• Keep your hands out of your pockets.
• Stand with you feet wider apart.
• Never look down when you walk, look above the horizon
• Stand with your chest pushed outwards
• Keep your shoulders relaxed and back
• Walk confidently and slowly with bigger steps
• Take up lots of space, no matter where you are
• Pay attention to how you dress
• Always lean back.
• Touch people when you talk with them (non-sexual), because you must create conversation on all levels, not just verbal. (Later she is going to be used to your touch, and that is perfect for the pre-sex stage!)
• All your body language should be comparable in speed. For instance, moving with confidence is good, but it looks incongruent if you talk fast at the same time.

One more really important thing my friend would tell you, “Pick-Up doesn’t start when you approach her, it starts when you WAKE UP in morning!” and that’s so true!

Let’s move on to the subject of attraction:

In order to attract a woman, you must first understand why and how they think. Why the state of attraction exists, and how it happens.

The easiest way to understand and explain this is through something known as ‘Switches theory’. You know those on/off switches you have in your house for electricity? Now imagine you have 15 of them in one box. That’s an analogy for how our minds work. Women have switches such as “Is he attractive?, is he good at sex?” on or off.

Every girl out there has a different set of switches, because it really depends on their culture, their childhood, their beliefs and their age, plus a few other minor things. However, there are some common switches you must turn ON to all girls out there.

You must be:

• Challenging
• Alpha
• Interesting
• Unpredictable
• Stylish
• Not needy
• A good lover
• Humorous
• Capable of building strong rapport
• Secure
• Trustworthy
• Conversational

Now, those switches can be either ON or OFF. There is no value in-between… for geeks, it’s all off.

What happens when you switch on most of those switches?? Wow… she starts to be interested in you… actually… she starts to show IOIs (indication of interest). This reaction is totally normal. When she meets a guy who is funny, good looking, interesting, romantic, and not needy, she becomes interested in getting to know him better (read: sleeping with him).

Switching on these switches is what demonstrates personality to a woman. You can tell stories where you were romantic. You can hook her with interesting snippets of your life and make her ask you questions where you get to reveal your romantic side. It doesn’t matter, as long as the you flip the romantic switch to the ON position. Every story or routine you have in your arsenal is saying something to her (flipping switches.) When designing routines and stories, you need to first take a look at what you want to convey to her.

The easiest way to switch on lot of switches is through good body language, behavior, and a sense of style.

Lets take a look at me for example. If you’ve never seen the way I look, take a look at my webpage photo here…

Okay, let’s analyze this together… what do you think about this guy just from this photo? Here is what others have said:

• He has a lot of confidence
• He looks like some badboy or a really adventurous guy
• Good looking (average)
• He is drinking expensive cocktails, so he probably has some money…
• Sex must be amazing with him
• He is alpha, he doesn’t worry what others think
• He doesn’t look like some predictable guy…
• Not so needy

Ok, guys, you get my point… I switched On like 10 switches just by the way I look and behave. There are also switches I haven’t flipped yet:

I don’t have trust, rapport, I am not romantic, interesting… and that’s it fellas!!!!

That means 5 stories for 5 more switches. That’s like 5 X 5 minutes = 25 minutes to get a girl.

Of course you can convey all those things through conversation, and that’s fine. But it will take 10X longer! This is the way it works for me, and I am happy.

In order to grab the woman that you want, you need to learn the art of walking away. Most men will not walk away.

What happens to most men is that they’ll go to a party, find a woman they want to talk to, smother her, and they won’t leave . . . this results in the woman’s attraction level dropping each minute this continues. The opposite result occurs, i.e., the attraction increases, when you walk away from a woman to whom you’re most attracted.

Take this example. You walk up to talk to a woman you’re really attracted to, you connect and have a good conversation with her for a couple of minutes, and then . . . you walk away. When you walk away, it gives her a moment to reflect and to think “That guy just walked away. No one just walks away. Most men smother me. How come this guy just walked away?”

It creates powerful intrigue in her mind. She’s wondering who you are, what you’re all about, and how you could walk away from her. It creates incredible attraction on her part.

So then what will happen is she will find a way to find you again at the party. Or, you’ll walk around that party and the minute she sees you, she’ll plant a very seductive, sexy smile on you so you stop. Or, she’ll talk to you about something going on at the moment or ask you a question to reignite the conversation that she was having with you before.

Most guys are afraid to walk away from a woman they’re really attracted to, because it took a lot of nerve to talk to her in the first place. What you learn when you practice speaking to a lot of different women, however, is that walking away from a woman you’re interested in is the only way to see whether or not you’ve connected with her. When you’re in Smotherville – smothering a woman with conversation that may or may not be going anywhere – you’re just talking to her in random thoughts and thus not really knowing if you connect with her or not.

Why do women always go for the “bad boy?” Why do women always go for the guy who doesn’t like them or doesn’t pay them any attention? Because that man has learned the art of “the walk away.”

You need to learn and perfect the art of the walk away, and you need to use it the next time you see a beautiful woman and you talk to her. This is what you’ll do:

After you’ve been talking to her for a few minutes, you need to walk away, let her simmer for five or six minutes or . . . twenty minutes, and let her see you talking to other people. It’s going to bring out an incredible competitive fire in her, especially if you’re speaking with other women. It doesn’t matter what the women look like, it’s sufficient that they’re just other women. Or, if you’re speaking to men, it also works if everyone is laughing because you’re giving them the best of you. All of the sudden that woman is simmering so much, that she’s going to come back because you have the power of the walk away.

You have to master the power of the walk away in order to attract beautiful women everywhere you go. This is because women love a leader, and women love men who can walk away from something right at the height of the conversation.

It’s going to make them want more . . .

and that’s what you need to create. You need to create desire in women, so they want you more.

A lot of us, as guys, are telling ourselves we don’t deserve women we ACTUALLY ALREADY DESERVE.

And the results, of course, are disastrous.

It ends up being kind of like one self-fulfilling prophecy after another…which makes perfect sense, when you consider that women FOLLOW OUR LEAD.

Perhaps you’ve heard the saying, “You get what you hope for.” Well sometimes, if not usually, you get what you hope AGAINST also.

As you probably know already, the guys who pick up the phone and call me aren’t often guys who are starting from square one with women.

Some are, and that’s fine also. But they aren’t typical.

Most guys who call me are interested in going from GOOD to GREAT with women. They are sick of “settling” and are ready to move on to having the highest-quality women in their lives.

But invariably, guys I talk to—even the ones who are at square one–are genuinely good men with a lot going for them. That goes whether they have a dating life at the moment or not.

I’ve noticed an odd pattern, though. It’s one that is especially evident when they try online dating—although everything I’m about to cover applies to meeting women elsewhere too, so hang with me here.

The pattern is this: They get rejected…A LOT. And they flat-out cannot understand why even average women are repeatedly blowing them out. We’re talking ZERO success.

After all, they’ve got SO MUCH to offer a woman. What’s up with these chicks? Can’t they see that?

Well, here it is: YES…those women they CAN see that. And that’s EXACTLY the problem.

Here’s what I mean.

For the sake of argument, let’s draw a picture of a quintessentially perfect guy who should have no “limiting beliefs” whatsoever.

Consider a successful professional. Let’s say he’s 35-years-old, in peak physical condition and financially stable. Better yet, he’s got the “Big Four” (masculinity, confidence, ability to provide security and character) in full effect.

But perhaps he’s getting over “Mr. Nice Guy” stuff, or he’s coming off a brutal break-up of a multi-year relationship that has knocked him flat.

For some reason, he’s not enjoying a wildly successful dating life at the moment.

So based on advice he picked up somewhere along the way, he decides to go after some “average” women online to “warm up” his skills…and perhaps build his confidence.

Well, that ends up not happening. In fact, his confidence takes a massive hit instead.

NOBODY responds. NOT ONE WOMAN.

His head spins. Clearly his pictures sucked, his profile wasn’t sharp enough and his first-emails lacked SOMETHING…right?

So he tightens everything up and goes for a second round.

Yet…all he hears in return are pins dropping and crickets chirping.

Dejected, he GIVES UP.

Well, guess what?

His initial self-assessment was 100% correct. He DOES have tons to offer a great woman.

The problem? HE WASN’T GOING AFTER GREAT WOMEN.

Instead, he e-mailed women he considered “average” enough that they were sure to like him.

Well, yeah…ironically enough, they DID like him.

But they probably also were fully INTIMIDATED by him, and were left wondering, “What on Earth does a guy like THAT want with a woman like ME?”

Yep…these are the thoughts that go through some women’s minds.

If you think I’m kidding you should read Emily’s mail sometime. Women who don’t value themselves as highly as they should seriously AVOID writing back the sharpest guys.

They automatically assume ulterior motives…and that’s IF they don’t somehow believe that the guy’s profile (and could that be YOUR PROFILE?) is a fake or a scam.

Raise your hand if YOU have ever actually gone through a “slump” online only to finally get a date and have a woman say, “So, um….when’s the REAL version of you going to jump out from behind a bush? You’re TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.”

If that has happened to you, here’s the deal: You are SETTLING before you even get STARTED. Just like I’m talking about here.

Now listen, this isn’t something to beat yourself up over. The “rejection” you are perceiving could really be a series of backhanded compliments.

No joke.

In fact, I personally suffered through an embarrassingly long stage of it myself.

But the breakthrough came for me when I realized that it was time to TRUST the process I had worked so diligently on. I had spent ENOUGH time learning how to be the kind of man women truly want. I had spent ENOUGH time on figuring out how women think.

It was time to “fly without a net” and actually start approaching the VERY SHARPEST WOMEN out there…online OR offline.

I put my fire suit on, believe me. After all, like most of us, I considered the highest-quality women UNTOUCHABLE.

But here’s the thing…when I started focusing on the women I REALLY FELT I DESERVED, great things started happening.

That’s the breakthrough that resulted in solid response rates online. That’s what really started to “raise the bar” all around.

Why?

Well, simply enough, great women realize they DESERVE a high-quality guy. And when he shows up, they TAKE NOTICE.

And guess what? Time and again I’ve watched guys I know experience a similar breakthrough.

It all started for them when they put their thoughts of having lots to offer a great woman into GEAR, once and for all.

So what’s the deal? Do you suspect you are what a great woman should want, but you aren’t going after great women?

Are you feeling rejected, when in reality you’ve been intimidating “average” women with your above average expectations?

Are your requirements in a woman not backed up by your willingness to swing for the fence in trusting the great ones REALLY ARE waiting for you to approach them?

Have you ever stopped to think that were you to actually get those “average” women to go out with you, NEITHER of you would be happy?

Meanwhile, have you ever considered that the truly sharpest women are often the most likely to go DATELESS?

I told you this article was going to involve yet another CRAZY concept. But it’s not so crazy once you discover how your REALITY changes…if only you’ll put what we’re talking about here into practice.

Be a man. Lead. Deserve what you want. And give those great women the rare, desirable experience in a man that they’ve been craving.

My recommendation is to start doing it today. But just in case you could use a real “wake up call” that puts everything into perspective for you, I’m going to cover that for you next week.

So stay tuned. If you are the one who is now suddenly intimidated by going after the high-quality ones, I’ll be sharing with you the mindset for making it happen.

You’ve done everything it takes to get your own game together, and you’ve been a man or woman who deserves what you want for sometime now. In fact, you’ve found a partner as terrific as you are, and the question has inevitably surfaced: Is it time to “pop the question” around here?

I believe a lot of us really have not spent enough time ruminating upon what it really takes to consider a decision to make marriage plans. And make no mistake, my friends, this is the kind of thought that should go on long before you are ever in the position to actually act upon what you think and / or feel.

Indeed, getting engaged should never be a “knee-jerk” decision. In fact, nothing involving “jerks” of any kind should ever be a consideration.

So whether you are in a serious relationship right now or not, let’s consider the top ten signs to look for when considering marriage:

1) You are attracted to each other

First, you absolutely, positively must be sexually attracted to the object of your affection. This is NOT being shallow, as we’ve discussed previously. Don’t you appreciate how I freely endorse making this a priority? Thought so. Feel better now? LOL

2) You actually like each other

Laugh if you will, but I’ve seen first-hand how couples justify long-term relationships despite getting on each other’s nerves big time. I personally don’t get it, and if you deserve what you want I surely hope you don’t want that.

3) You’ve spent enough time together to really know each other

Let’s not talk in terms of calendar time here. If a couple is in a long-distance-relationship (LDR) for two years and see each other once a month for two days, they may see each other about as much as a couple who lives two blocks apart and has been joined at the hip since they met a month ago. When you know that you’ve seen the person at his or her most relaxed (and at his or her worst, for that matter), then and only then are you in a position to speculate regarding what the future really holds.

4) You are on the same page spiritually

Don’t underestimate the importance of this. If you believe that God should be at the center of your relationship, it can only be that way if your would-be partner agrees. If this hasn’t been talked about yet, make it a priority to do so. Even if you are both agnostic or atheist, for that matter, it’s still a good idea to discuss your world views and make sure you are in agreement on what your core beliefs are.

5) Your long-term goals are similar

If your futures are taking you in different directions, either someone is going to have to compromise, or your futures don’t have each other in them. Period.

6) You know how to play together

Sure, she goes shoe shopping while he watches the NFL. But do you know how to enjoy leisure time together? We’re not just talking about sex here? I always thought it would be amazing to find a woman who would want to go BMX racing with me. As it turns out, that wasn’t so farfetched. Couples who play together stay together.

7) You both want to be married

Do both of you really desire marriage? If you feel you are trying to persuade someone out of the single life who still wants to be there then guess what…you are not making valuable use of your time.

The basics in your lives are handled

Are you mentally and physically healthy? Is your self-esteem in good shape? If you carry heavy concerns that consume you, it’s not time to invite someone else into your world permanently. After all, that would only give your heavy concerns someone else to consume. And that’s not part of a balanced relationship.

9) You have no doubt in your mind that your partner is committed to you as you are to him/her

Ah yes…the “trust” factor. Kill all jealousy in order to ready yourself for a committed relationship. And make darn skippy sure that’s okay to do. If there are signs your future husband or wife would cheat on you, then forgettaboutit. Really.

10) You have no doubt in your mind that you are committed to your partner as he/she is to you

Turnabout is fair play here. Are you completely sure you are trustworthy? Do you harbor fantasies about cheating on your future spouse? If you are focusing too much on someone else—especially if that “someone else” is potentially available to you, then my suggestion is to get that resolved before feigning “commitment” to someone who would be truly committed to you.

Whether you feel you are ready for marriage or not is okay. One should never feel pressured either way. The framework for a solid marriage with a great long-term prognosis can only be established when both partners truly want to be there…and believe wholeheartedly in both the future and in each other.

After all, isn’t that what love is for?

Value is of utmost importance in your interactions with women. It determines how willing a woman is to meet up with you, it determines a woman’s level of physical attraction for you, and ultimately, value determines how far a woman will go just to be in your life. Naturally, I get many questions from people asking me how they can increase their value: “Do I raise my value through DHV storytelling, do I lower her value through negs and indifference or do I use push / pull or what?”

Firstly you must realize that value is almost entirely based on perception. That’s right. The only value that actually exists is inside the minds of the people around you. Sure there are things that society says is valuable, like how much money you make or what kind of car you drive, and based on society’s perception, some level of value can be assigned to people. But it is still just perception. What I am going to present to you today is a fundamental model of value. What I mean is, this model determines the effect that other value-shifting techniques will have when they are used. Value shifters like stories containing DHV spikes and negs as well as social value cues like cocky humor and peacocking are all subject to this fundamental concept.

This means that all of the above mentioned techniques will work perfectly when you have this fundamental concept down, and will fall absolutely flat if you do not. How compliance relates to value

First let me steal a term from Sinn of Mystery Method. The term compliance is used to measure the willingness a girl has to do something with you or for you. Sinn tells me this concept has replaced what used to be known as ‘hoop theory’. Sinn has also written an article called ‘Negative Compliance Momentum’ wich is definitely worth checking out. In short, getting a girl to talk to you when you approach her requires some level of compliance. Getting a girl to buy you drink requires a little bit more compliance, and of course getting a girl to the point where she is open to having sex with you requires even more. Compliance is directly proportional to value. The higher your perceived value, the more compliance you will naturally get from a woman. The higher you perceive a woman’s value, the more compliant you will be to her, automatically.

Let me illustrate the fundamental nature compliance has with relation to value. If you tell a story about something off-the-wall that happened when you were chillin’ at the Playboy Mansion, it can quite potentially be a demonstration of higher value. Let’s say you use this Playboy Mansion DHV, but then she tests you by asking you to hold her drink while she dances, and you oblige. Your entire story is now negated. Since compliance is more fundamental than a story, she is perceiving your value based on the former. If instead of holding her drink, you instead explain that you might meet up with her later, then you would have been congruent and retained the value from the story. In fact, you could have been having a conversation with her about the mating patterns of the blue-jay in New England, and you would still have higher value. The Value-Compliance relationship is fundamental.

Here is where it gets interesting. The compliance scales are different for men and women. Typically, men seek compliance based in replication value. That is, they are out to get a woman’s sexual value. They want to be close to a woman, touch her, kiss her and have sex with her. Women on the other hand, seek compliance based in survival value. Traditionally, women have urges toward getting protection, shared living space, and financial support from men. In fact, if you look at the nearly extinct paradigm of dating and marriage, and make two bars representing a man and a woman’s compliance scales, the relationship becomes very clear.

Here I have made two bars, each representing a man and woman’s relative values. The height of the bar represents their perceived value. (The man and woman have equal value in this diagram) The tick marks along the side represent the levels of compliance that are available for each person. In this diagram, the man has potential to get sex from the woman, and the woman has potential to get marriage from the man.

I know some of you are laughing as you realize that most women don’t wait until marriage to have sex. That’s fine. This model is just an illustration of the compliance scales of men and women that everyone can relate to. We’ll get into some common scenarios and practical application a little later. Actually, this diagram is rather generous. In our society, the issue is further confused by the idea that a man must ‘win over’ a woman with a diamond ring in order to marry her – A frame of mind like that leaves a man with such little perceived value!

Keep in mind, the actual compliance levels are quite arbitrary. I have labeled them for illustration, but in general just remember that a woman seeks compliance related to her immediate survival and the immediate survival of her family, while a man seeks compliance related to genetic survival and accessing a healthy, beautiful woman’s genes through sex. So we will see women chasing things like emotional strength, leadership and wealth, and we will see men chasing things like pretty faces and hot bodies. Evolution has created this situation for us.

Mutual Compliance Escalation

When a man and a woman meet, and become involved with each other, they take turns being compliant to each other.

A man approaches a woman, she in turn gives him attention and talks to him. He asks her a few questions to screen her, she then complies and answers. He complies by qualifying her with a nice compliment. He asks her to go window shopping with him and she agrees, etc. On and on you go until you have reached full compliance from the woman. Unfortunately most men never even achieve full compliance from a woman, yet surrender their own full compliance all the time. It is a common mistake to believe that the more compliance you give, the more you will get from a woman and the more she will be attracted to you.

So, a man and a woman go back and forth escalating compliance in a mutual way from one rung of the ladder to the next.

Keep in mind this is not to be confused with Mutual Value Escalation, which instead means raising the levels of both of your value bars relative to the people around you via leadership, future adventure projections, teamwork / role playing frames and dominance over others. In order to move to the next level of compliance, two things are necessary. Firstly, you need perceived value of at least the same level or higher than the girl. Your value creates attraction and a willingness to comply. The second thing you need is comfort and trust. After all, women don’t go around sleeping with every guy that has higher value than them.

The purpose of comfort and trust is so the girl feels safe knowing that the compliance escalation will continue after her current action. Both of these are needed in proportion to the level of the request you are making. Being compliant to her requests is one way of developing comfort and trust, but it is recommended to only comply with small requests that you don’t mind fulfilling. Hold off on complying to the large requests at first, since it has potential to be quite detrimental to your value. Take your time with the escalation and be sure to go through the full process of screening and qualification (both false and genuine). Attraction is the result of withheld compliance. Whatever compliance a girl feels she deserves but doesn’t yet have, produces attraction to you, the source of value. Screening and qualification is what makes her feel as though your compliance is worth pursuing. The best way to engage a girl, therefore is to demonstrate high value and produce relevant qualification.

A couple other things are worth mention. Asking a person to do something, and having them reject you puts your value into flux. (We’ll talk about value flux a little later, when we discuss application) When a person declines your compliance request, it is not necessarily because they perceive your value as being low it it usually just because they aren’t sure what your value is yet. Look at a rejection as an opportunity. When your request is rejected, your value is in flux, and it is an opportunity for you to define it with your subsequent actions.

For instance, if you go to kiss a girl, and she rejects you, it’s not necessarily because she perceives your value as being low. It is simply because she’s not sure. If you go and try to kiss her again, right away, you may lose some points with her. If you get angry or upset, or otherwise deflated or thrown off your game, you will certainly lose value. If, on the other hand you are cool and nonchalant about it, or you humorously tease her and joke about it, your perceived value will increase. At that point, you can safely try again at a later time and your chances of getting the kiss will have improved. Orbiters and Let’s Just Be Friends (LJBF)

Let’s look at the special case where the man has lower perceived value than the woman.

Notice that sex is completely out of reach. No matter what a man does, he cannot get a woman of much higher value to comply to having sex with him. As a result, a woman will usually tell him “Let’s just be friends.” He becomes one of her many ‘orbiters’ and continues to fight a battle leading nowhere. In fact, there is both an instinctual and societal motivation for women to lure the men in their lives into this type of role. After all, evolutionarily, this meant more men to help raise the children she was having with the alpha male.

Realize however, that depending on how high the value is, the orbiter will be able to get some kind of compliance from the woman, even if it isn’t full-on sex. You can see that this fellow can get a kiss from her every now and then. How sweet. Also, it doesn’t mean he has to marry her to get a kiss. It is sufficient that she already knows she could get married to the guy, if she were so inclined. That is why the concept of the ‘no-challenge’ switch is so important. The woman has these men at her disposal for whatever survival value she wishes to take from them: Companionship, dates, spending money, backup for her real boyfriend, everything is fair game.

Players and Fuck-Buddy (FB) Relationships Just as common as women who collect orbiters, there are guys who sleep around with many different women, no strings attached.

Notice that marriage is completely out of reach.

There is nothing this woman can do to get this guy to marry her. In fact, in this this guy probably isn’t going to be exclusive with her. Basically, all this guy has to do is show up, talk to her and give her some good emotions, and she will have sex with him. Hence the term “Fuck-Buddy”. She does however have a chance at getting dinner every once in a while, so we can call this example an “upgraded” FB relationship. Unlike women, who have both instinctual and societal motivations to lower the perceived value of their mates, for men it is merely instinctual. Societal programming tends to motivate men into beta-provider type roles. Look around and you’ll see evidence everywhere. Deep down, our genes are telling us otherwise.

Most men, whether they admit to it or not, would love to have a few different sex partners that they aren’t committed to. After all, what kind of man doesn’t like sexual variety? From an evolutionary standpoint, these are the women that will bear his children, as he proliferates his genes. The interesting thing is, we realize that this is still a traditional mindset. The escalation of compliance levels still leads to marriage. Players in this society still usually get married if they find the “right” woman. They are searching for that one woman who has high enough value or good enough game to get them to make a commitment.

Once a man has a few girls who cater to his every need, it becomes less exciting. There’s no more challenge and nothing left to chase. What both sexes want ultimately, is high levels of compliance from high value people. In addition, the fact that sex is so high on a woman’s scale of compliance is both an outdated traditional model and unacceptable for our purposes.

In fact, I will go so far to say that the true fundamental goal of a real pickup artist is to lower the effective compliance of sex, and move it lower on the scale.

Reverse Supplication Levels

What many guys realize as they become better with women, is that sex isn’t necessarily at the very top of a woman’s compliance scale.

We’ve all seen women who do everything for their men. They buy them gifts, cook them dinner and clean their apartments. There are women who would practically die for their men. We also know about pimps who have their hoes out on the streetcorner, every night making money for them. These women are selling their bodies to strangers to earn money so that their men are taken care of.

Talk about a high level of compliance! At first, it may seem completely unreal to ever have women that compliant to you. After all, there are many guys who cannot even get their girlfriends to call have sex with them!

It turns out to be quite easy, actually, and is based on a few simple dynamics. There are all kinds of levels of compliance that reside beyond sex, leading up to full compliance which is defined as willingness to either die for a man or commit her life to his cause. Prostitution fits this basic definition close enough. The levels that reside beyond sex leading all the way up to prostitution are called the reverse supplication levels. I have defined reverse supplication as a man receiving survival-type compliance from a woman. Inserting the reverse supplication levels into a woman’s compliance scale gives us Fig. 3a.

As you can see I have filled in some examples into the reverse supplication levels. Dinner, clothing, a new car, all the way leading up to prostitution. Playing at that level is pimp game and I’m not interested in that right now. Between sex and prostitution is a very real region, of which holds many interesting possibilities.

Just the simple acknowledgment of these levels lowers the effective compliance of sex. Bringing these levels into existence by reaching for them will make sex come that much easier. Value is only perception, and if you are overshooting the goal of sex by making larger requests, you can be perceived as having extremely high value. In other words, if all you want is sex, the best way to get it, is to simply set your sights BEYOND it.

<ul><li> Ask a girl to write you a poem or draw you a picture * Ask her what kind of girls she likes before you’ve even slept with her

<li>Assume you’re going to sleep with other girls in her social circle before you’ve even slept with her * Find out if she has any connections to club owners and tell her you’d like VIP access</ul>

Keep in mind, you aren’t taking value from others, you are merely increasing your own perceived value, such that everything you give is appreciated to a higher degree. It will make everything you do that much more powerful. People will be more likely to listen to you, more likely to laugh at your jokes and more likely to try to get rapport with you. I won’t go too far into this here, but the basic formula for escalating compliance is to take it one small step at a time. We aren’t talking a few dates, this stuff can take months. Compliance is pliable. When you have a woman at breaking point and push her threshold, her maximum level of compliance increases.

Another key is making it fun and worthwhile for a woman to do these things. Make your requests that are related to your identity. If you are a chef, have her pick up some groceries so you can prepare a romantic dinner. If you are an artist, have her pick up a new set of brushes, and let her watch you create a masterpiece. Build a lifestyle in which the two of you can share. Though this article is only a small portion of my entire reverse supplication method, it is still powerful enough to warrant two points of caution. Firstly, do not use this method for abuse. Women do these things because they love us and care for us. Don’t run this on a poor college girl, and don’t run it on a woman you aren’t willing to be straight with. Use it carefully to develop your lifestyle and enhance the experiences that you share together. Secondly, don’t ever become so dependent that you lose responsibility for yourself. If it ever gets to the point that you cannot maintain your finances or keep your apartment clean all by yourself, you’ll be in trouble. Trust me on this one.

Set High Expectations

When it comes to value, nothing beats having high expectations of other people and putting a price on yourself.

So many guys are willing to sacrifice their own best interests in order to make a girl happy, or to get together with her. Don’t go driving two hours out of the way just to see her, don’t ditch your buddies to hang out with her, and don’t volunteer to buy her dinner if you’ve just met her. In addition, you should expect women to respect you and treat you well. If you compliment a woman, expect her to respond positively to it. Many guys fail with compliments because they don’t hold her to high expectations and instead continue to be nice to her after she has disrespected them by ignoring the compliment.

Make a woman commit to giving you full attention when you are communicating with her, whether it be in person, on the phone or even in a chat room. Also be willing to walk away if she doesn’t meet your standards. There are plenty of women that will. Most of the time a willingness to walk will only help you, and draw them in closer. The best way to punish bad behavior is with indifference. Any reaction whatsoever is actually a reward, because it telegraphs your emotional investment. Sometimes it helps to make it absolutely clear what she did wrong in a dominant, (not angry) voice, and then follow it with indifference, both physical and verbal.

Value Flux and Reward Calibration

There are times in an interaction with a woman when your value is in flux. That is, your value has no definition. Realize that this is not necessarily a bad thing but rather an opportunity to define it.

The first situation that causes value flux was mentioned above – it is when you make a compliance request. For example you try to kiss her, and she either obliges or rejects you. Your value is then defined by your reaction to it. The second situation is when a girl displays good behavior. That is, she does something to indicate a higher level of compliance then where she was at previously. For example: she calls you, she follows you as you lead her around the club, or she buys you a new pair of shoes. These are all examples of good behavior.

Good behavior should never be punished, except in small amounts. In general it should be rewarded. Sometimes punishing good behavior in small amounts works to confuse her and obsess about you. Major jumps in positive compliance in her part should be rewarded. But how should her good behavior be rewarded?

Let’s take a look what happens when a woman does something good, and your value is in flux.

In this example, the woman has kissed you. In general this behavior is in the right direction and should be rewarded. There is a wide range of ways to do this, but keep in mind, your reward will define your value, and therefore how she responds to you in the future. Let’s say after the kiss, you decide to make her your girlfriend and be exclusive to her. See Figure 4b.

So the girl kisses you, and you decide to be exclusive to her. You start the “relationship talk” and tell her you’ve decided that you only want to see her. Bad move. It would probably result in her telling you to take a hike, unless she’s a virgin and kissing is pretty high on her scale anyway. Since exclusivity is pretty high on your compliance scale, transposing your value bar so that it lines up with kissing would result in an extremely low perceived value.

Ok let’s see what happens instead if you merely give her a compliment after she has kissed you.

As we see there, rewarding her kiss with a simple compliment goes a lot further. You will create a much higher perceived value for yourself, and in the process increase your chances of more positive responses in the future. By creating a large amount of perceived value, you present yourself as a challenge to be overcome. A woman will realize that her efforts will be both appreciated and at the same time, it will be an interesting chase.

Previously I mentioned that it is the ultimate goal to lower the effective level of sexual compliance. That is, get it as low as possible on the compliance scale. Using these concepts, it shouldn’t be very difficult. Eventually it will get to a point where it hits the bottom and drops off her scale altogether.

The True Alpha Male

Although both value bars for the man and woman may be high, through skillful game and correct attitudes, the effective compliance of sex will eventually drop off the bottom of the woman’s bar.

Where does it go once that happens? To your compliance scale.

Any given interaction between a man and a woman must appear on either the man or the woman’s side. (One party always wants something a little bit more than the other, no matter how slight the difference may be) So it may not have a lot of weight, but it is going to show up on one of the scales. If you reduce the compliance of sex so much that it disappears from the woman’s bar, it must appear on your side. This is what happens when you truly become the prize of the interaction.

The flipped compliance scales, where a man is chased for his replication value and his woman contributes to the bulk of their survival value.

This situation represents a natural and fundamental scenario of a true alpha male. This happens when the highest value that a woman can contribute is her energy and resources, and the highest contribution the man can make is his genes.

This is the difference between a real alpha male and what the general population believes is alpha. Since most people identify alphas with taking up space, walking slow and talking very loud, this is a significant improvement. Keep in mind although full compliance is defined here as prostitution, it doesn’t mean the girls are actually selling themselves at full compliance, it just means that they would be willing to and their man knows fully he has that power over them.

While most men are out there struggling just to get the pussy, you can rise above that. I invite you now to imagine fully what is possible. Don’t set your goals so low that you would be thrilled just to get laid. Realize the bigger picture of what is possible. Live a lifestyle where women are making your dreams come true in every area of your life.

In what ways can a woman support your aspirations and contribute to your happiness? Allow them to bring you excitement and energy, and imagine a life where they are doing all of this simply for the opportunity to please you sexually.