Grow Your Game

I wanna talk about a pretty simple principal that is seldom talked about and massively difficult to convert internalize as a behavior. This ability, while seemingly counter-productive and hugely challenging to integrate, can make a world of difference in your game in terms of Actually CLOSING versus just getting rapid attraction. I’m talking about low energy game here, where the players play and the aspiring test their merits.

There’s a pattern in this community – it looks like this.

Stage 1) Low Energy Beginner – This is what you see in guys with nearly 0 reference experience with girls. Their low energy level is reflective of insecurity as the guy feels stifled and possibly unworthy of animated self-expression. Or, it may simply be the guy is unused to self-expression – the challenge here is to get him to actually turn it up, SMILE, express, and essentially be fun.

Stage 2) Entertainer Man – This is the most talked about stage, where most community guys live. The energy level is turned up as a way of maintaining interest and generating attraction. The interest and positive feedback from girls becomes addictive, so most guys never advance past this stage – they end up getting decent results doing this, a few lays here and there, lots of club makeouts, but have huge flake rates.

Stage 3) Sex Worthy Man – The phrase is talked about a lot, along with catch phrases like “self-amusing”, “internally validated”, and “abundance mentality” – and these are actually spot on. The trouble is these are abstract concepts that can be difficult to codify into actual behaviors. I’ll leave it to The Blueprint to vivisect these principals and focus my attention here to an outer-game principal that distinguishes the good from the elite.

One of the biggest rushes when learning game comes from the discovery of Flash Game – when you realize you can enter a set, pump energy level, get attraction and escalate, all within the first 2 minutes. You think “my god I’m good…I can make out with and girl in 30 seconds…” Problem comes when you either A.) Try to extract for sex or B.) Can’t get her to meet you for a day 2. The problem here is substance – or a lack there of. With flash game emotional spiking takes the place of substance, your essence is fluid giving the girl nothing to latch onto, nothing to associate with you other than a sugar-rush like burst of energy. This can be a great skill to have, and with practice you can even sometimes convert the attraction from flash game into ONS or Day2s, but it’s also going to lead to worlds of frustration.

I used to be hugely into Brazillian Jiu Jitsu – my life revolved around it. I’ll never forget my instructor once explaining to me: “You only start learning Jiu Jitsu after you’ve gotten your black belt”. The same goes with game – the first phases are about learning the different elements of calibration, learning to read situations and developing that razor sharp field intuition, mastering the ability to pump state and generate emotional spikes. Once you’ve got all these pieces in place, all these tools at your disposal, that’s when the real learning starts, and there begins the real crystallization of yourself, your essence, your being. Here also begins the real challenge – it’s time to stop relying on energy level and flash to generate attraction, and instead use the only piece that is really YOU, that piece being your PRESENCE.

Once you’ve mastered the art of pumping energy level to generate attraction and maintain interest – it’s time to STOP relying on energy level and move on, grow up, advance. Tone it down. Think you’re good? Can you be the lowest energy guy in the room and STILL get the girl?

Learning to game at a lower energy level was one of the toughest things I’ve had to internalize. But after being driven crazy by a high flake rate, it became a clear necessary step in my advancement.

Sexuality is a HUGE part of direct game. Most guys get it completely wrong and end up coming off as “sleazy”. I teach students how to be calibrated with their sexuality, how much and when to express it.

Calibrated expressions of your sexuality achieve two things: it increases her attraction to you (women like guys that are confident in the bedroom), and it makes her start reacting sexually towards you.
I remember sometimes being frustrated with indirect game because when I got a woman into bed, she didn’t always want to sleep with me. With direct game, because you use sexuality as part of the interaction through-out, if she comes home with you she knows full well what is going to happen – and she’s excited by the prospect.

She meets me at the bar, we talk with my friends, and then I pull her aside to a couch so we can talk in isolation.

Comfort

Direct game applies to comfort as well. I try and condense my comfort phase down to about an hour or two these days. Being direct is about being open with your feelings and passion, right? Well this is the part of the seduction process where you really get to express them!

If you can tell a woman what your real passions, ambitions, and feelings are in life within an hour or two of meeting her, then you’ll find that she is likely to do the same. Before you know it, you’re both locked in this little bubble, where it’s just the two of you talking about your innermost feelings, and it feels as if everything around you disappears.

This is the feeling we create with direct game. Nothing else should exist when you are looking deep into her eyes. By the way, really looking into a woman’s eyes is a powerful way to convey how you feel about her. It’s hard to explain in print, but people who met me know that it’s a look I can turn on or off now – it’s almost like you’ve just had a glimpse into the perfect paradise and you’re completely absorbed into it for an instant.

I ramp up the kino escalation by holding her hands as she talks to me about her past relationships. I stroke her hair now and then so she starts to feel that fluttery feeling when she knows a kiss is imminent.

She’s virtually told me everything that’s happened to her in the last couple of years by now, and I know that the trust is there. I need to think about escalating further and closing.

Sexual Framing

I tighten the sexual frame by telling her how incredibly sexy she looks tonight. Then I tell her to stand up – dominance is a very direct quality and increases her attraction to you – and turn her around, while whispering into her ear that her ass looks especially sexy.

I tell her that I’m thinking about doing all sorts of things to her that I probably shouldn’t be thinking about. I can see she’s getting turned on and responding to the sexual frame that I’ve created.

I spend a little time dancing with her, and then suggest we get out of there. At this point, she knows full well what’s going to happen. When we get back to mine, I sense she is a little nervous, so I spend more time talking with her, and telling her how much fun I’ve had with her that evening.

Being direct means you escalate fast. Occasionally, you will find you move forward too fast for girls. At this point, all you need to do is spend a little more time in comfort on an ad hoc basis. There’s no need to spend three dates or seven hours with her if you can escalate faster; just make sure when she is in bed with you, you understand her and have demonstrated why you like her.

I won’t go into details of the rest of the night, but neither of us got much sleep, and she has now become one of my best friends. All throughout the interaction, I never misled her about how I felt about her and what I wanted. She respected me for that, and it’s one of the reasons why we’re still close to this day, and one of the reasons why I love direct game.

I didn’t start by using direct game. I started off and got good by learning indirect game. I think starting off with an indirect approach probably helped me. Direct game is incredibly powerful, but it takes a certain amount of confidence to pull off. As a student said to me recently, “You’ve got to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can jog.”

I ultimately switched to being direct because it was more congruent with my personality, and I had more fun with it. I love the look of shock on a woman’s face when you approach her and say, “You’re fucking sexy, how are you?” I especially love it when the same woman is in my bed hours later.

So Savoy asked me for a recent example. This is about a woman I met on the street, slept with that night, and is now one of my closest friends.

The Approach

I was walking down the street with Sheriff, when he spots a beautiful Asian woman walk past (Sheriff knows I have a penchant for Asians). She looked absolutely stunning. Tanned skin, long jet black hair, big celebrity-style sunglasses and a crisp summer dress; she was a vision of beauty. She was already a few steps in front of us, so I leapt after her.

I rushed up to her from behind, touched her gently on the arm to turn her around, and said, “Excuse me, I saw you walking down the street and thought, ‘Oh my God, that woman is beautiful’, and had to come talk to you.”

Things like leaping after a woman or starting with “excuse me” could be try-hard with an opinion opener, but they are totally congruent with direct game. The goal is to come off as charming and confident, without seeking a specific reaction from her.

You can find a bunch of great direct openers in Magic Bullets, but remember that the key to delivering them is passion and enthusiasm. The more she thinks you’re being 100% genuine with her, the better she will respond.

The Look

She gave me that classic look that I’ve seen thousands of times. The look of surprise, slight shock, and quick once-over of you to see if she’s potentially interested. Unlike in indirect game, where you build up your value from the ground as you interact with the woman, in direct game you have to have high pre-approach value, otherwise she will write you off. This means looking as good as you possibly can, having very strong body language, and delivering your opener with the utmost confidence.

She giggles and asks if I’m sure that I’m not trying to sell her something. I joke around with her for about how I’m not trying to sell her something, and in fact I am trying to pick her up, which gets her giggling even more. One of the things that I’ve learnt in direct game is that if you can make her laugh IMMEDIATELY after opening directly, it completely relaxes them.

At this point, you’ve done something very powerful. You’ve shown your interest, so they know you are picking them up, but you’ve also shown them that they can enjoy it. Humour is huge for direct game.

Comfort

I suggest walking down the street with her for a little bit so we can talk more, and she agrees. For the next few minutes, I get to know her a little better and start building comfort. I also start thinking about where and how I am going to spend the next few hours of time with her.

In direct game, you close quickly. When I ran indirect game, I would always make sure to “play it cool” throughout the pick-up. I never wanted to appear too needy, so I would wait a little while before texting or calling her, and then set up a date for a couple of days later. That way I looked like I had a busy and interesting lifestyle.

With direct game, you take the reverse approach. Imagine the whirlwind romancer who flies into Paris for one night, meets a beautiful woman, charms and sleeps with her that night, and then departs sorrowfully the next morning. Direct game is meant to be THAT intense. It’s as if your feelings and your passion for this woman are so strong that you can’t help but act on them. Women LOVE this kind of intensity in their romantic encounters.

It turns out she doesn’t have any plans as yet for the evening, so I start seeding the idea of joining my friends and me for drinks that night.

We part ways for the afternoon, and I call her a couple of hours later. We arrange to meet up at the bar that night, and then I start creating a sexual frame by sending the text, “Make sure you wear something sexy for me tonight.”

As I was walking down the street just outside Wood Green tube station this man (who was clearly homeless) started to approach me. I had this really powerful feeling – I knew that he was going to ask for money. He had this desperate look in his eye – I could tell he wanted something just by looking at his eyes, I didn’t need his clothes as a clue. It was clear he was defeated man from his body language. His shoulders were slumped and his face was just giving it all away. He looked hopeless. I knew he’d been turned down 100 times already that day and it made it really easy for me to do the same. He was expecting it. I shook my head even before he asked me for money and he just sauntered along, off to his next target. He wasn’t persistent at and I didn’t expect he would be.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

I just thought to myself “Can you imagine if this guy was trying to pick up?”

This guy even with the best clothes, clean shaven and washed would have no chance at all.

He was coming in with “the beggar’s frame”. He’d already been rejected and he was expecting to get rejected again. Not a hint of confidence at all. Any woman would just think “If everyone else has shot him down, I don’t want him either!” He could be the most amazing human being in the world, but with body language and vibe that he was projecting, nobody is ever going to find out! He’s never going to get past the approach.

That brings me to the next point. Vibe. It wasn’t just his physicality that put me off him. It was his overall… being. I could just feel it. He certainly wasn’t in state. He was very, very far from being in state. He was anti-state! I felt that just as much as I noticed his defeated body language.

When a bum approaches us think about how easily we just say “no” and wave them away. It’s automatic. There’s no thought process required. We see them coming and know instinctively they are low value and we just shoo them off. It’s just as easy for a hot girl to shoo you away as well. And it happens almost as automatically.

Think how much easier you make it for a woman to dismiss you in such a manner if you come in with crappy body language!

So for all you guys, next time you approach a set keep that image of that poor, stinky, defeated, hopeless man in your mind. Think about his sorrowful, helpless eyes. His scruffy, unshaven face. His swollen, hungry belly and his slumped shoulders.

Being itself is his ultimate defeat.

Don’t be that man! Avoid the beggar’s frame when you approach a set at all costs! (Hell, avoid it altogether!)

So to summarise, things to avoid:

-Looking down/avoiding eye contact
-Shoulders slumped
-Being twitchy/creepy
-Focusing on negative thoughts/on past failure
-Drug and alchohol abuse
-Not bathing for weeks

Alright the last two were jokes folks.

Hopefully I don’t have to tell anyone out there to avoid walking around unbathed in torn up raggedy clothes. But hey – I’ve met a homeless PUA before so you never know.

Clothing

I’m not going to make this section long, because by now, you should know how to dress decently. But what I will say, is that the way you dress should be the similar to the types of women you want to attract.

If you want classy women, then dress classy. If you want rocker chicks, then dress like a rocker. And if you want doped up crack heads? Then shit, you better jump in honey and go roll around in crack rocks.

However, take it a step further, outdo your competition by kicking it up a notch. Although I have no idea of how you’re going to top a guy with crack all over his body, you
can out-dress your competition by wearing one or two items
from another culture.

For instance, although I primarily go to classy bars, I
wear a labret piercing that is primarily seen in punk
culture. Or I sometimes wear a jacket I purchased that has
rainbow stitching and edges all worn out with strings
hanging. Another rocker/punkish item.

The purpose isn’t to make a woman say “Why is this guy
wearing a space suit to a swimming pool?”, but “that’s an
interesting combination.”. There’s a difference between a
two-year old’s Halloween costume, and actually wearing
something that has artistic expression.

In general, when it comes to looks, you want to look clean,
wear the best shoes you can afford, and wear clean clothes. It isn’t rocket science.

Location

The very first mistake that can fuck up your entire night
and kill any chance of getting laid? The place you decide
to go. Yes, it matters that much.

I pick up women in some of the most difficult bars in my
city. In order to get these women, you need status, lots
and lots of status. Fortunately for me, status is what I
have.

And fortunately for all of us, we get to choose the place
we go to pick up women. When you’re looking at location,
you need to ask yourself three things. What are these women looking for? What types of men do they want? And do I meet
these criteria?

For instance, at Brother’s, a bar downtown, there are a lot
of bachelorette parties full of married women. However,
these married women are probably just out to have fun. And
the chances of one of them going home with you are slim.

But at Azuri, an age 25+ crowd up north, the married women
there are promiscuous and are probably looking for a good
fuck. In other words, it’s a completely different bar
culture.

As for types of guys, it’s pretty self-explanatory. Women
will go to clubs that have the highest ratio of men they’d
like to fuck. Being an urban guy that can dance, I’d have a
better chance of getting laid at a club that plays hip-hop
music where women like to dance, than I would at a country
western sports bar.

This rule doesn’t just cater to bars. It works everywhere.
I only attempt to get women at places that are going to
have women with some of the same interests as me.