Grow Your Game

I get a lot of email from guys who are successful in lots of areas of their life, but want to improve the success they have with women. Most of them ask me if I’ll recommend any products to them.

Normally I recommend they buy the absolutely essential Double Your Dating, and go on a workshop with Love Systems. The two market leaders, and both have a 100% refund guarantee – what more could you want?

But I started thinking: what have I read and what would I recommend that isn’t all that well-known in the community? What products helped me the most that I haven’t heard people talking about that much, and that I’ve not had people email me asking for my thoughts on?

So what follows is my list of products that have blown me away, my experiences with them, and with the authors who created them …

Conversation Hypnosis

http://www.conversational-hypnosis.com/

Igor’s one of two guys who I keep bumping in to unexpectedly in real life, and who I’m always consistently impressed by when I do. He’s exceptionally bright, always friendly, and has a way of talking that just sucks you in – something you’d expect, I guess, considering he’s a world-renowned hypnotist whose books appear on most Required Reading lists for hypnosis courses.

As a result, I was expecting to be pleasantly surprised by his course. The website promised a lot, but most marketing websites do, right? When it came, and I got a chance to listen to it, I was completely blown away. I’m still working on applying all the principles in it, but I started noticing results in how people interacted with me the next day.

Don’t get me wrong: you’re not going to instantly learn how to hypnotise Jessica Alba in to bed. But you will learn how to very effectively persuade people you meet, and suck them in to your own reality. Highly recommended!

High Status Male

http://www.highstatusmale.com/

I was VERY LUCKY in my opinion to get a personal recommendation on this product. Why? Because his website sucks ass. If I hadn’t had my wing almost compel me to part with my cash (by talking non-stop about the ebook), there’s not a chance in hell I would have done.

The website looks like it was sucked from some 1998 Internet Revival Archive, the models he uses to sell his book are NOT the kind of women I’m looking to meet, and frankly, he looks like a gnome (sorry Mike!)

The book is absolutely gold though. The inner-game concepts in it are fantastic, the way he talks about embracing your masculinity and ridding yourself of shame – it’s one of the few products that I come back to time and time again, and every time I learn something new or see a new layer in there.

The Way of The Superior Man

http://www.amazon.com/

Real Social Dynamics have a way of getting very very excited about books. They’ll go through periods where it doesn’t matter which of their instructors I’m talking to, they’ll keep talking about the same book. In fairness: the books tend to be awesome.

David Deida’s Way of The Superior Man was one of these, and I’m glad it was. The book is, as far as I’m concerned, the Bible of Masculinity. I know several people who’ve said it’s made them cry just reading it, and I know it’s had a profound effect on my relationships with the women in my life.

It talks about your responsibilities as a man, both to women and yourself. It’s profound, entertaining, and easy to read. Even the small number of women I lent my copy to were amazed by it, and all came away saying that they’d never met anyone who understood women as well as the author. Steal the money to buy it with if you have to.

Same Night Lays

http://www.themysterymethod.com/

I’ve been very very fortunate to spend a bunch of time with Sinn recently, and see him in action in the field. I’m always blown away watching him game, and I’ve worked with all of your internet heros at one point…

Sinn and Captain Jack’s Same Night Lay’s seminar is off the dial. It’s content I’ve not read or seen anywhere else expressed intelligently, clearly, and in a way that you can use that evening. Everyone I sat in the seminar with in London came away saying it was some of the best money they’ve ever spent.

The bad news? It can be pretty damn difficult to get a space. Not only do places sell out pretty quickly, but I know Sinn’s working his ass off on a bunch of other things at the moment, and just doesn’t have time to do the programs to meet the demand. At the time of writing, there’s only one Same Night Lays seminar up on the program over at The Mystery Method website.

I always tell guys to focus on having fun and being social when they’re out to meet women, rather than focussing too hard on ‘picking up’ – you don’t want to come across as the next cheesy, sexually needy guy.

A great way to do this is to show a little disinterest, but it’s an idea guys often get confused with. When I talk about showing disinterest, I’m assuming that you already come across as a MAN – that there’s already a sexual vibe between you. How are you going to show disinterest, and why’s she going to care unless there’s already some tension built up between you?

Let’s say I’m talking to three girls in a bar, and we have a good energy going. Then I’ll turn to the hot one directly, move a bit closer to her, and shoot her a quick triangular gaze – hard eye contact down to her lips, look back up, playful smile, and then back away from her and turn towards her friends.

Girls go insane over this. You can even shoot he a quick playful nod like “it’s not gonna happen”, and engage her friends a bit. At this point the hot girl KNOWS there’s something there, so she’ll start to try and cut in to get your attention.

The more she does this, the more she pulls typical “I can get what I want” hot-girl stuff, the more you can gently push her away: “Hey, wait your turn! How do you girls hang out with this chick?” and then give her another very sexual but playful look and back off again. Hell, touch her on the shoulder, raise your eyebrows, and back off.

This is normally the point where she’ll throw herself at you, and then you can game her directly, because she’s chosen you. It’s good to ignore the target at first, but you’ve also got to pull the trigger when the time is right. Wait until she does or say something ‘impressive’ and then reward her for it with your full attention.

Trying to show disinterest before there’s a sexual vibe is like trying to start a fire without fuel. The point is not that you’re not interested, it’s that you’re a bit curious, but it’s you who’s in control, not her. You don’t care if that girl in accounts like you or not until you’ve gotten the idea in your head that she might – at that point, the not knowing can kill you and create attraction in its own right.

Source: Unknown

I first read this article a few years ago. Let me preface it by saying: at the time, while I was still learning how to meet women, it seemed like world-shattering gospel truth.

Having improved dramatically, having learned a lot more about women, I’m in a place to better evaluate it. Some of the points he makes are compelling – women are largely more driven by their emotions than men. Women are considerably better at rationalizing away behaviours than men. And my female friends do seem to have a much, much higher propensity to cheat than my male ones, and then invent reasons why “it didn’t count”.

On the other hand, this is far from true of all women, and the original author seems awfully bitter. What I will say is: you can’t gauge fidelity from what a girl is like. Some of the most faithful girls I’ve known have been some of the most hedonistic and sexual, where some of the least have seemed prudish and dull to most.

I grew up watching Disney movies. I used to believe in true romance and “true love will always prevail”. I was looking for a woman to be my equal, to be my partner. I wanted to find that one true love, and for us to be commited to each other forever. Most of all, I believed women wanted the same thing.

Now I know the truth – these things were only possible when society was able to enforce it. Now that women are ‘liberated’ (and thus at the mercy of their own emotional urges and more base instincts), this is an impossible fairytale.

I don’t consider myself a misogynist – I love women. But I am a sexist – I believe women are vastly different from men, and by the standards that men hold other men to, women are inferior too.

Perhaps you’re starting to rationalize at this point. I must be a bitter loser, right? I can’t prove it to you either way, but I enjoy more success with women than almost anyone I know. I’ve slept with over 200 women, and right now, I’m regularly seeing 5 different normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking professional women.

Am I really good looking? No. My looks are pretty average. I don’t work out (although I’m not overweight), I don’t dress that well. And I didn’t have much success with women at all when I was younger. Then I decided to go out and start trying to meet women. I was willing to face rejection 1,000 times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything I could until I finally cracked it.

I completely set my ego aside. I didn’t get laid at all for the first few months. Then it started happening every few weeks. Then pretty often. Then all the time! I wouldn’t have thought this possible in high school.

Now I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can usually pick her up in front of her friends. Women will even slip me phone numbers when their boyfriend has gone to take a leak. I can meet women in the street or at the supermarket, and often have them back at mine for sex in 30 minutes. If I have to settle for a phone number, and meet her a few days later, I will fuck her that next day.

Here’s where it gets more interesting: what I do doesn’t change in the slightest if she’s single or not. If she has a boyfriend or not. Hell, if she has a husband or not. I just do my normal routine, and then I fuck her. Maybe she’ll mention the guy so she won’t feel guilty when we have sex – that was it’s ‘my fault’. Most of the time though, they just won’t mention it until after sex. Perhaps her phone will go off, and it’s her boyfriend; she’ll give him some bullshit story about where she is without the slightest trace of guilt.

The only factor that determines if a girl will cheat on her man with me, is my own skill level. When my skills were pretty poor, I used to get shut down all the time. Once I got good, pretty much anyone’s wife or girlfriend were within reach.

The sweetest, most innocent girls you’ve ever laid eyes on will cheat at the drop of a hat. The one thing that most men are looking for – loyalty – just isn’t there with women. “Honour”, “word is bond” – these ideas just don’t have the same impact for women. Why? Women are emotionally driven – if they feel it, they do it – end of story. And later, they rationalize it to themselves.

Nothing is more important, or compelling, to a woman than:

• The way she feels
• Learning more about her inner self and having emotional realizations

That’s why even the most intelligent women love astrology, chick flicks, crappy daytime TV, stupid quizzes in magazines that reveal “Which character from Friends you’re most like”.

Men are far from perfect, and far be it from me to suggest they are. All I’m trying to say is that I’ve spent a lot of time with women, and I know how they are. It feels like I took the Red Pill in the Matrix – sometimes I’d rather not know. How can I ever get married now? How could I be the chump who pays for everything and goes through life not worrying because he ‘trusts’ his woman?

Would you leave your dog alone with a steak? Of course not. But you can’t hate the dog for doing what’s in its nature. You can’t trust a dog. But you can trust a dog to be a dog.

Some men are disloyal, but: I could never trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad Presidents, but I could never vote for a woman to be President – can you really expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment? She’ll just rationalize it later.

Did you know that the median 23 year old chick has had three times as many sexual partners as the average 23 year old guy? How’s that possible? If a woman’s getting laid, surely a man is too?

But most men hardly ever get laid. And when they do, they ‘got lucky’. But there’s a small group of guys who get laid all the time, and sleep with many many women. It’s evolution at work. Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men who spike those emotions – they want the top man, so the top man fucks lots of women.

The irony? Sexual revolution, feminism, etc, has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their emotions are volunteering for the modern equivalent of harems. Lucky me, eh?

A wise man once told me: “Everything you’ll ever need to learn about women, you can learn from Rock n Roll.”

I was pretty confused when I first heard this, and I’m pretty sure most of my students are when I first tell them (but they never admit it!). Several years and many women later, I can totally agree: it’s absolutely true.

As I got better and better and meeting women, I started noticing things I hadn’t really noticed before – some instructors refer to this as “seeing the Matrix”; being able to identify and understand the cause and effect of even the most subtle communications, most of which are non-verbal.

It can be a little like a sixth sense, and it’s hard to turn off – but it’s what gives instructors the proficiency to quickly help students, quickly help them adjust what they’re doing.

The key to massive attraction isn’t what you say … it’s how you carry yourself. It’s your physical presence, and that manifests largely through your body language. Where was I going to learn attractive body language? Where else? The wise man was right: The Temple of Rock ‘n Roll.

I began to sift through hundreds of videos of performances of the most popular and most sexually charged rock icons I could find, and I started analysing what they were doing from the point of view of an instructor. How they walked, how they danced, their facial expressions, and even how they stood still! After a while, I started to see a pattern. Three qualities were being repeated over and over again, three qualities in common.

In this article, I want to talk about the first: Sexual Presence.

For many of the artists, this came through in their dancing. Which is nice and all, but I couldn’t be dancing the whole time. The best example, however, of sexual presence came from Jim Morrison. He gave off tremendous sexual presence, but seemed to be doing very little actively. I hadn’t seen any videos of him performing since I was a teenager, and seeing it again with my “sixth sense” absolutely blew my mind.

He moved with purpose, slowly, almost trying to poeticize his presence. It seemed both calculated and natural, but most importantly: the impact was tremendous.

Here are some of the guidelines I picked out:

Alpha body language – Sexual Presence

1. Less is more.

• Move as little as you need to, and when you react, do it with delay
• Slow down all your movements, as if you were moving underwater
• When you do move, it should be bold and purposeful

2. Poeticize your presence.

• Act as if you were a spectacle to be witnessed
• Draw attention to your every move using strong eye contact, and delaying responses
• Always try and appear to be more comfortable than anyone else. Lean back when standing, angle back, drape your arms when sitting
• Be carefree and content; act like you neither want nor need anything

3. Emphasize your sexuality

• Relax your eyes. Check out (and model) the look in their eyes that Jim Morrison, Phil Lynott, and even Marilyn Monroe have
• Slightly purse your lips, as if you’re about to kiss the girl you’re talking to
• Tilt your head up, and look down when speaking
• Study a woman’s face intently during your interaction with her, and keep glancing at her lips
• Keep an inquisitory look of mild arousal on your face

I began modeling my body language based on this list and the results were epic. This is the reason I stopped using routines, I no longer needed them. Everything they communicated I could now communicate with my body. Even openers started to become unnecessary as women were now opening ME more than ever, based simply on the way I stood and the look on my face. Attraction went from slowly earned to instantaneous, but there were still some gaps…

The hottest women, although attracted, would still shit test me. Not only that, but guys started to become more of a problem as I was now getting a tremendous amount of female attention. This is where the second quality I found amongst sexual rock icons came in handy, and allowed me to smoothly and effortlessly diffuse any weird behaviour that was thrown at me… coming soon!

[digg-reddit-me]Our close friend Derek Cajun recently appeared on the most excellent Keys to The VIP – as one friend of ours said, it was basically a 30 minute infomercial to just how cool Derek is. Luckily I was able to catch up with him for a quick chat about the show…

Pete: So how did you end up on the show?

Cajun: Well, the director wanted to showcase a guy who wasn’t a good looking natural guy – someone who’d had to learn from scratch how to attract women. Someone from ‘the community’ of guys who read things like Grow Your Game! The show is in Toronto, so he found out I lived there, and contact me after reading about me on the Love Systems website.

As it turned out, I wasn’t able to do the show when they wanted me to, as I was so busy running workshops, so I ended up referring to my cousin Mitch, who was on the show. They had him up against some other guy who “learned how to be cool on the internet”.

But when the time came to film the episode, I ended up being around, so I went along with Mitch as moral support. They filmed a few scenes with Mitch’s challenger, and they didn’t go so well, so they asked me if I’d take his place at the last minute. I’m always up for a challenge, so I agreed – hence the whole Master vs Protégé dynamic on the show!

Pete: Awesome! Did you get to meet the panel?

Cajun: Sadly not. They film the adjudication scenes separately, and at a different time. Apparently Peaches knew who I was, and had read about me, and Sheldon knows about sites like this – the other judges are naturals. I figured there’d be at least 2 guys on the panel that would know what I was up to.

Pete: So be honest man … is any of it staged? Even a little bit?

Cajun: Nope, it’s all real. I mean, obviously, they try to use the best stuff, so there’s some stuff that they cut out, but there are no actors. The girls don’t even know they’ve been filmed until afterwards.

The funny thing was, I had a bunch of great pickups that they only got the audio for because they couldn’t find me with the cameras. The first group I chatted two, there were three models. I asked for the hottest girl’s number, and she says: “I don’t know, I don’t really know you yet”. Then one of her friends said: “What? Fuck, he can have MY number if you won’t give him yours” and it turned in to a bit of a fight about who gets to give me their number.

I heard the director freaked out, started screaming to get the cameras on me straight away so they could use it. It was funny shit man. After that, they always made sure they had the cameras on me no matter what!

Pete: Surely there must be some bits you’re glad they edited out though?

Cajun: hahaha. Yes, of course! In the 3rd game, where they asked me to insult the girls, and then turn it around, I started off with “You guys look like retards”. They bleeped out the word ‘retards’, so you can’t hear it, and I went in to a whole story about having a retarded nephew, that they cut out.

I had to act like a dick, but, I’m glad they cut it out. That’s not the kind of shit I’d talk about in real life, and I’d hate people to think it would be!

I think I come across as a little calculated and manipulative on the show – but at the end of the day, that’s what makes good TV. You’ve only got three minutes after all! I really had to structure what I was doing to get what I needed done in the time frame. In real life, I like to be a lot more relaxed, and just chill out and enjoy talking to girls. I don’t use many ‘memorized lines’ or ‘routines’ in person, but I wanted to show that what we teach at Love Systems really works, in as classy way as I could!

Pete: Thanks for your time buddy!

See Derek Cajun on Keys to the VIP:

Learn the TACTICS he used by downloading Magic Bullets by Nick Savoy.