Grow Your Game

I get asked a lot about how am I so good at being impromptu with strangers. People ask me how I am able to so easily and effortlessly communicate with people, and how I am able to take a simple observation and turn it into a conversation.

My response is this: It’s very easy, because I am not censored. I don’t censor myself.

I basically see something and I walk right over to it. It’s almost like when you were a little kid and you first learned how to catch a ball.

Your dad would be standing there, you would be standing there holding out the glove. Your dad would wind up, and your legs would be shaking as the ball came toward you.

What would you do? You would essentially put the mitt out in front of the ball to try and catch it, or you would cover your face and let the ball hit you in the head (depending on your athletic ability).

In reality, though, all you had to do was allow yourself to react to each pitch as it came toward you. That’s the same thing you have to do with conversation situations.

All I do is allow myself to react to every single situation. I don’t monitor myself. I don’t censor myself. When I see something, I react to it and it comes across as being very genuine.

The problem with most guys is that they’re always over-thinking, trying to figure out what to say or how to say it. By doing that, it never comes across as natural.

You can’t stand there for five or ten minutes before finally spitting out what you hope is the “right thing” to say. It’s so awkward. There is so much apprehension because you spent so much time trying to figure out what the right thing to say is.

There is no right thing to say. It’s the way you own the words and the way you speak. It’s the way you come across.

You can say anything, as long as you say it right away and you say it with authority. When you do that, you are going to command attention. It’s just the way it is.

If you want to really learn this, one of the best things to do is go to any city and look at homeless people. Look at the ones who get attention and who get money. They are the ones who go to people and say, “Hey, you look like you’re having a great day today.” Watch homeless people and learn from them.

You never, ever want to be a “background guy.” Do you ever walk into a store or into a party, and your friend is always the lead guy?

Your friend start talking to some people or to a woman, and there you are in the background. That leaves you hovering ten or fifteen feet away from the conversation.

You don’t join in the conversation because your ego won’t let you do it. You say to yourself, “Well my buddy is talking to first and I didn’t get to talk to her, so I am just going to stand in the background and look like a deaf mute.”

You don’t want to ever be ‘background guy.’ If your buddy walks over and starts talking to one person or to a group, then you go and hang out with him.

Just because you’re not talking or didn’t make the first approach, doesn’t mean that you can’t be actively listening to the conversation. When you actively listen to a conversation, you can join in when something intrigues you.

If you’re in the background, though, you don’t hear any of that conversation. So there is no way for you to easily join in that conversation at any point because you are a ‘background guy.’

Don’t ever be a ‘background guy,’ because background guys are forgotten. You literally are the background, like when you look at a scene in a movie with tons of extras in the background.

Those extras never get to speak. Do you know why? It’s because they are just background people.

There is no need for this to be you. So don’t ever be ‘background guy.’

NOTE: I’m not getting ONE RED CENT out of anything I’m about to say in this post. This is my experience and I wanted to share it.

This is my review of my live training experience of this past weekend. The training was with an upcoming dating coach named Magic.

Magic runs Attraction Methods has written a guide called Social Mastery and holds dating live infield training all over the world for men, but specifically in New York City and Los Angeles unless he goes to their home city for personal coaching.

His name sounds corny… I know. 

But, he’s actually a cool, rockstar looking Indian guy that you would have no problem having in your social circle (HINT: normal).

The tools and teaching techniques he has are POWERFUL.

Many of you guys know that it’s been taking me a LONG time to get to a good place with dating and women.

I know you FEEL me on that.

Well, I thought I was making lots of great progress by learning mindsets, cocky and funny, routines, and lots of other PUA tactics.

My progress came crashing down WITHIN 10 minutes after meeting Magic and him explaining why most PUA tactics are simply marketing myths and don’t work for getting women in BED.

That includes all these seduction community fundamentals we just take for granted… like “bitch shields”, LMR, negs, and loads of others.

My game has CHANGED.

Here’s how it went down this past weekend…

Magic took me out on the first night of our bootcamp to get a basic reading of how I was coming across to women and what level I was at. (So he didn’t waste time teaching me stuff I already had handled). He went into a set and specifically showed me how to start touching women to get them sexually attracted to you FAST.

These women MELTED when Magic interacted with them.

It was absurd how easily they fell into his presence, but from an casual observer just looked like a NORMAL conversation between people – but with lots of underlying flirting and sexual energy that might go unnoticed by the untrained eye.

Then, after he got in cozy with these women, he left them and came back to me (a good sign for a coach that he’s willing to ditch girls and actually FOCUS on me). I approached a few groups of women and interacted with them for awhile, Magic came in and instructed me that I wasn’t touching women in the right way fast enough.

Magic said that by NOT touching women early on I was making my conversation, and the attempted flirting I was doing irrelevant and weird.

In my first set, I was easily able to hold an engaging, charismatic conversation with three blondes that worked in the makeup industry around Hollywood.

I’m not from Los Angeles, so I thought I was doing good being able to “handle” these types of women.

Magic let me keep going, observing at a distance but eventually he took me out of the set (very smoothly as to not embarrass me) and then explained that sexual attraction is a strong force UNDERNEATH words and has a limited window for acting on it.

Magic said I had MISSED the opportunity for that group – which I disagreed with.  I went back in, ready to show Magic that he was WRONG…

…and was blown out by another guy 5 minutes later. Ha

I had always believed that the amount of time you spent in conversation, flirting, and what not, the BETTER the chances are of getting a woman, or at least a better chance than other guys.

A flood of thoughts came rushing back about all those women I had missed out on before when I hadn’t had the guts (or knowledge) that you need to touch women in the right way EARLY on.

A few hours and some fun experiences later, we wrapped up the night at a diner, and Magic taught me so many more valuable lessons on social dynamics.

The next day, I met up with Magic for lunch to continue our training. Magic went over ESSENTIAL principles that every guy should know about attracting women.  These principles have EVERYTHING to do with how to be successful. Without them, well… let’s just say it’s a slow and painful road.

One was the fact that women DESIRE sex just as much as men, if not more.

I challenged Magic and asked that IF that were true, why wouldn’t women be having one-night stands every day of the week with any guy?

Magic responded by saying that women DON’T do it with just ANY guy due to societal stigmas and personal reputation…

But here’s the GOOD NEWS:

Women DO have one-night stands and friends with benefits ALL THE TIME with SEXUALLY confident, non-judgmental, and “cool” men.

Why didn’t I know about THIS?

I think the biggest reason is because I’m not ONE OF THEM.

That was about to CHANGE!

After discussing some limiting beliefs, insecurities and unrealistic expectations Magic instilled a sense of ownership of life and my dating.   In that moment the YEARS of stress and anxiety about going out vanished.

It disappeared because I was now being comfortable with who I am, being unapologetic for being a SEXUAL man and knowing very SIMPLE tools that starting making women viewed me in a much more desirable way.

All the things I had learned before this bootcamp were actually ADDING to my anxiety when going out to meet women in bars, clubs and during the day.

Do you think you’d be more or less nervous about giving a MEMORIZED speech to a large audience instead of free flowing on a subject that you enjoyed?

That’s the way it WAS with me. 

I added so much pressure to myself, and when I got rid of most of it, I felt like a rockstar.

I spent hours with Magic plowing through my limiting beliefs that were pushed so deep into my mind that I didn’t realize they were still there

We then met up later and went through 5 simple skills that I could use that night to really magnify my presence and get women attracted.

He calls them T.E.A.S.E. and you can watch him explain them at www.youtube.com/attractionmethods

Tonality, Eye Contact, Animation, Sexual Escalation and Energy.

By mastering each of those individually, you can OWN THE TOWN.

That night I had some great experiences, and many that I will never forget.

Like how women look at me in a completely different way… (it’s all in the eyes!)

Like when I got a woman’s number while she was ON A DATE.

Like when I made out with another woman within ONE HOUR of meeting her (which was a BIG step up for me).

After 5 phone numbers, a make out and invitation to an exclusive after-party I now realize the NEW WORLD that’s possible.

On Sunday, Magic wrapped it up with some other very compelling techniques when dealing with threesomes, one-night stands and multiple girlfriends.

This guy is the UNTAPPED master of the seduction community.

He gets it on a real level.

He actually gets laid.

He actually gets results for his students.

Magic states that 3/4 of his students last year got laid on the bootcamp itself or within the week after.

That does NOT surprise me one bit.

But Magic is not for every guy. He takes his work very seriously and dedicates his entire weekend to your improvement. He pushes you.

He doesn’t go and hit on women while he’s coaching you, he doesn’t take calls when he should be listening to you, he doesn’t ditch you for a one-night stand.

Magic is with you every step of the way and he knows his shit.

If you’re sick of being jerked around by all these dating coaches out there that promise BIG but deliver small results, then check out Magic and Attraction Methods before he gets BIG (so you can get his coaching at the current low prices).

I can’t recommend Magic more highly, come to think of it, I’m not even going to take any more coaching from any other companies because it’s simply not NEEDED.

I feel different, I act different and women now LOVE it.

If your serious about getting this handled, skip the YEARS that I wasted learning marketing myths, by emailing Magic and setting up a free phone consultation to see if you’re a good fit for each other.

You can use the contact form on his website or email him at magic (at) attractionmethods.com

He also does one-on-one’s and 4 person bootcamps starting around $1400 or so. Oh, and his products and coaching are ALL with a 100% money-back guarantee. 

Magic’s that good.

You’ll probably get a lot out of the free coaching call even if you don’t decide to go ahead with the training. I didn’t take the bootcamp for two months after I spoke to Magic, but I wish I had taken it earlier and not WASTED that time.

And you’re probably thinking this is sounding like a BIG SALES PITCH AND I UNDERSTAND THAT.

But, it’s like I’ve just taken a flight on an airline and their service was AMAZING and they got me there AHEAD of time. 

That’s the way I feel about Magic. 

Would you be telling your friends about the airline that treated you exceptionally, and got you to your destination like NO OTHER AIRLINE had before?

Yeah, you’d be recommending it other people too.  

So, don’t WASTE YOUR FUCKING TIME with other coaches, just get this handled and MOVE ON!

Anyways, that was long… lol

Todays video is all about how to create powerful first impression. The whole idea is to have fun and be playful!!

Do you know what is great? Practicing your storytelling. Women are attracted – actually, people in general are attracted to people who are charismatic and can tell a good story.

I know I’ve written blogs about telling stories before, but I want to go even deeper into this today. There are so many emotions that you can convey to people through stories. They tell something about your personality.

When you are there and you are talking to somebody, and they are in quiet mode – sometimes we’re in quiet mode, sometimes we’re in talkative mode – but let’s say this person is in quiet mode. All of a sudden, you start doing the talking – you’d better be interesting! All of us are interesting because we’ve all done things in our lives – but the difference is in the way we share that story.
……

So, you’re dating a woman now whose only sexual experiences have been with men that are pump and dumpers. For those of you who don’t know what a pump and dumper is: it’s what I call ‘minutemen.’

Not the minutemen from the Revolutionary War.. They get in, they thrust their hips, they pump a few times, and then they dump all their little men: all their little sea-men to swim all over the place.

A lot of women who are young (and some unfortunately that are older) have only been with pump and dumpers and they have no idea of how unbelievably amazing sex can be with an attentive, sexually aware man. They don’t know sex with a man that has been reading these blogs – a man that really knows that sex and foreplay start right inside a woman’s mind.

So let’s say you’ve done it all right. You’ve started with sex and foreplay, and you’ve seduced her mind and you have her all turned on. How do you encourage this woman – who is basically very submissive in bed due to the fact that all of her experience is with Mr. Pump and Dump?

The reason why she is submissive, much of the time, is that she has never explored her own sexuality. A lot of women that have had pump and dumpers don’t know what they want sexually, and they are usually women that have never masturbated. They don’t know what feels good and what doesn’t. Their only experience is with Mr. P & D.

For those of you who think he is related to P & G, you’re absolutely incorrect. Pump and Dump is not Proctor & Gamble – though I heard that Proctor & Gamble makes their products for pump and dumpers. But it’s just a rumor that I heard!

Anyway, how do you encourage this woman to open up to her own sexuality?

First of all, this woman may or may not have ever had an orgasm before. I would assume that she never has. She thinks she might be having an orgasm – it might be a momentary wave – but she is not having a full-blown orgasm.

If you ask her if she’s had an orgasm, and she says, “I think so” – there is no “I think so” when it comes down to orgasms. Either you’ve had one or you haven’t! If a woman will tell you that she thinks she had an orgasm, it means that she has probably only experienced a little wave of pleasure and not a full orgasmic experience. Ladies, please chime in here and describe what a full orgasmic experience feels like so all the men know.

So let’s assume that she’s never had an orgasm. You’ve got to become the teacher in this relationship. She is probably the type of woman that just expects you to do whatever you want to do, and she’ll just lie there submissively.

So you need to show her slowly how amazing sex is. I would take some extra time and give her a full body massage. I would spend extra time kissing her and just touching her, everywhere except in her breast and her groin area.

I would take extra time when I go down on her and not only lick her, but to also touch all parts of her body also at the same time. I would also slip one finger inside as I was licking her in order to give her a different experience.

I wouldn’t ask her if she is coming. I would just continually do all the things that I know bring pleasure to a woman, and I would ask her, “how does that feel for you? Are you enjoying this? How do you like the pressure? I want to please you and I want to make you feel amazing.” Don’t say, “I want to give you an orgasm.” Don’t tell her you want her to scream and yell. Just say, “I want to make you feel wonderful. Okay?”

And take your time. Allow her to open up and allow her to see sex in an entirely different light. Don’t expect the magical orgasm right away. Don’t expect her to open up immediately. Your only job is to show her – through a soothing, relaxing, attentive sexual session – just how great sex can be.

Another way to do it, too, is when you’re having sex with her, is to do the opposite of what the pump and dumpers have done. Hold her really close to you so she can feel the tightness and feel the sensuality of sex, and then grind in very slowly as you pull her close to you. That way your pubic bone is actually massaging her clit at the same time. By doing that and staying deep inside her, you’re going to give her feelings that she has not had before and you’re going to get her to open up. You may actually get her to start having a clitoral orgasm that way, in time.

You are also going to show her a different side of sex, going to show her the sensuality of sex so that she can feel protected, warm, and nurtured during the experience.

Right now, all she feels is used. All she feels is that guys want to get inside, get off, and leave. So you’ve got to deal with the fact that she was with Mr. P & D. You’ve got to be tender and warm, and you’ve got to put absolutely no pressure on her at all.

By following these simple steps, you’re going to make her feel really comfortable, and you’re going to be able to get her to explore herself even more. She’ll surrender herself to you, in time, but you need to be very patient – because the other guys, the Mr. P & Ds, were not patient. It’s your turn to be patient now.

You know, I was just on the phone with a client of mine and we had an interesting conversation about how to deal with assholes. There is no other way to put it, right?

My client wanted to figure out how to get a particular asshole (“Mr. Asshole”) to like him. No matter how nice my client was to him, Mr. Asshole still acted like an asshole. That is, Mr. Asshole was still confrontational and disagreeable about almost everything. I told my client that an asshole is one because there is always shit coming out of their mouth.

There is no reason to befriend everybody. If you are nice to someone and they are an asshole to you or are just plain old rude to you, then you have done nothing to them to warrant their behavior. You’ve been nice, self-aware, non-confrontational, and you haven’t challenged them. You’ve killed them with kindness. Yet they still choose to be an asshole.

So what’s the point? You need to understand and accept the fact that you can’t make everybody like you and respond favorably to you.

The way I look at it is if someone is being an asshole, it’s really your ego that doesn’t like it. Your ego may not like that you can’t succeed in getting this person to think the way that you are thinking. Your ego may not like that you can’t get this person to respond favorably to you.

It’s also your ego that doesn’t allow you to just walk away from someone like this. If I have to deal with an asshole, then I will kill them with kindness during the one or two obligatory minutes I must spend talking to them. When I then walk away, I will just mutter “asshole” under my breath and walk away . . . because I just don’t care.

I don’t really care if somebody doesn’t like me or doesn’t respond favorably to me. All I care about is that I treat everyone with respect, kindness and integrity. That is the kind of person I am.

So if you are dealing with an asshole, you need to remember that it’s just your ego that is affected by them. Then drop the ego, and just walk away.

You know, it’s funny. Let me share with you a perfect story about needing to drop the ego. When I was recently in Hawaii, I surfed for four days. On three of those days I kicked ass – I got up on the board, I surfed and I had a great time.

I was there with my ex, Alison. She just started surfing not too long ago, but she’s already good at it. She’s one of those naturals. So on surfing day number four, I knew I felt a little stiff. I do yoga on a regular basis, so I went into a lot of yoga poses to try and unlock my body and get rid of some of the stiffness I was feeling.

I was still stiff after I did that though, and my intuition and my gut told me to just go out in the water and swim. Because I used to be a competitive swimmer as a kid and used to be a lifeguard, I should have just had a great time swimming the day away in the Pacific Ocean . . . but of course my ego wouldn’t allow that.

My ego made me get up on that surfboard because I wanted to surf one more day and because I wanted to prove that I could do a good job at it four days. So, what happened? My lower back jammed on my left hand side, and I spent the last couple days rehabilitating it.

By the time I post this blog, my back will be fine. The question is: Will I learn from my experience? That is, the next time will I trust my instincts and honor my body, or will I allow my ego to rule once again?

The analysis is no different when it comes down to dealing with assholes. You have to trust yourself. You have to be open, and you have to drop that ego. The more you keep that ego, the more hurt you will experience. So remember that not everyone is going to like you and you can’t catch every wave.

Todays video is all about how to find great single people online. Match.com would never want you to know what I am about to share.